Masaail pertaining to the Wali and Compatibility between spouses

Q: I pray you are well. I wanted to ask a question about my situation. I have a proposal for marriage from a man I like and respect. My family met him and liked him and his deen and character. However, after they found out his age at the 2nd meeting they refused without asking me and saying they decided its best. He is 14 years older than me but in good health and looks masha'allah that it is not apparent and we probably look about 8 years difference. I am 24 and he 38. Also he is pakistani and I am indian which my family were initially ok with but then changed when they found out his mother cannot speak english and mines urdu is broken. His family were concerned about the age gap to start with but have said if we are both happy and I am mature and understand what marriage entails they are happy. I want to meet the family again because I like them and can see myself amongst that family despite the differences even tho my family feel I will not be happy and that I will struggle as I will have to do everything because of the age gap and have a hard life. Can my family refuse due to age and ethnicity when they were happy with his character, personality and deen. Are they right in saying i will have a hard life because he is older and so I will have to take care of any kids we have and him in his old age as they are saying he will look like my father and a kids grandad soon and have health issues. But I do like him and we are similar in terms of personality and character and i know if he was even a few years younger I would say yes and theage gap only came to my mimd after my family started saying things because I was ready to accept because I feel he as a person is perfect for me and similar to me. And he keeps himself fit and healthy and masha'allah looks younger than his age. I would appreciate your guidance on this matter.

Q: Is it possible for a divorced woman aged 40 to do nikaah without the permission of her wali?

Q: I would like to know if your parents give their blessings to a marriage but say their answer is no can I still go ahead and get married and if none of my family members want to stand as witnesses can the guys witness be my witness as well ? I am hanafi

Q: I am really confused. Everyone says that in life you can't focus too much on beauty when it comes to a potential suitor. Then, they say "no. But you have to be attracted to him". But then if I am not attracted to anyone except for a very specific few, then "no, you're being too fussy and need to lower your expectations in life" then when I say okay, how do I lower my expectations? How do I force myself to be attracted to somebody who doesn't really match up to what I had in mind? Then they say "No. don't lower your expectations, expect the best from Allah and have faith that he'll give you what you want" then I say okay fine I expect the best. Then they show me somebody and I can't find it in my heart to have the slightest bit of attraction towards them then they say "if you don't find this person good looking you need to lower your expectations" then I ask how , "no have faith in Allah, you'll get what you want" ... so I don't know what to do. first they say expect from Allah then they say lower your expectations. Which do I do and HOW? It's not as if I'm only focusing on looks, I want piety and looks in a person and I'm not willing to compromise on either. Money is not a main focus but looks and piety are. I have never spoken to any non mahrams much in life so i feel like why should my first relationship ever be with someone that is unappealing to my eye? It's not as if I feel deserving or entitled or think that I'm so holy for not ever engaging in haraam relations but I just think it might be a disappointment to have the one relationship you ever have be with someone you just can't seem to be attracted to. Also. If I read "Rabbana Hablana Min Azwajina Wa Dhhuriyatina Qurata A'yewnew waj Alna Lil mutaqina imaama" will I get someone who I find good looking? Because it's a dua for our spouses to be the coolness of our eyes and he can only be a coolness to my eyes if I am attracted to him right? And I will only be attracted to him if he meets my expectations which means that all I have to do is read this dua and have faith and not lower my expectations right?

Q: I would like to know if a divorcee needs a wali for her second nikah or is it allowed for her to make nikah without a wali or the walis permission?

Q: Can a girl choose her father in law and her brother in law as wali or wakeel of nikah?

Q: A marriage proposal came for my daughter. The boy and his family involve in barelvi practices which we consider baseless, as my family is firm deobandi. In the situation, should I consider this proposal or not? If I refuse it would I be sinful because there is no big issue in the proposal apart from that. Please guide me properly so that it would help further.

Q: I am an unmarried girls of 32 yrs age. I am not getting any good match.  One person wants to get married to me as his 2nd wife. My mother is denying to do so. What shall I do.

Q: My family follow deobandi practices strictly and refrain from all bid'ah but I want to know whether it is allowed to marry my daughter in a family who offer five time salah, are decent but are involved in some bid'ahs practices?