Advice

Q: My daughter left our home 4 years ago to live with her father who is a murtad. This was done without my knowledge or consent. Subsequently the step mother had been raising her and introduced her to a Christisian lifestyle. We tried to prevent this and get her to move back home where we are Muslim. The law enforcement informed me that I would be charged with kidnapping if I was to remove her from their house as she was already 18 years old.

Throughout these 4 years she has lived the life of a Christian and has tattoos on her body. I have chosen to not be in contact with her as she refused to change her ways as she was raised in a Muslim household. I have 3 younger children and feel that my attention should be with them.

Recently I was informed that she had fallen pregnant by a Christian guy who she lives with and subsequently the baby has died.

My family are now blaming me even though I've tried my outmost to make her understand that the lifestyle and choices she made is against our religion. Certain family members are going behind my back to support her even though they know she is living as a Christian.

Can I have advice on this matter as my other kids are suffering because of all the stress this child has brought to my family.

Q: I started loving a lady in 2009. Thereafter I proposed to her and she said that her family did not allow her to get married.

In short, I got married to someone else in 2013 December and went for umra after 4 days. When I came back on 01 January 2014, the lady I loved before I got married was crying and telling me that I ruined her life. So I decided to marry her on 06 January 2014.

Her father, mother and family were not aware and we were having husband wife relations but we were not living together. She was living in her own home and I was in my own home with first wife.

In the meanwhile, this second wife which started forcing me to divorce my first wife but I kept on delaying it.

Now I have 3 children and she is still forcing me to divorce my first wife. She is fighting with me day and night and also insulting me in front of people by abusing me etc.

I am stuck in a situation as I love my first wife and we have 3 children together. What should I do? 

Q: I am a 33 year old married man. I am really confused regarding my problem. I love my wife but I am not able to please her and give her a happy life.

Its been 3 years since our marriage. She was married to me with a lot of expectations to have a beautiful married life. After many treatments, my problem is still not solved. I am not able to satisfy my wife sexualy. I have premature ejaculation.

Moreover I have nil sperm count due to that she is not getting pregnant. The doctor said that I dont have the ability to make a woman pregnant. We can only try IVF.

We tried to perform by giving her oral pleasure and forplay and after she finish, I thurst. Its always makes our relationship more complicated.

I want to make her happy but if I am still like this she would never be. I feel that it would be better to divorce her so that inshallah she can get married to another man and have a better life.

Should I divorce her or should we keep living with the same issues?

Q: I feel like I am in a great trouble because I have to face an interview just after 1 month. I can't remember things, I forget things. My mind is not focused at all. I am worried weather I will be able to answer the questions of the interviewer or not.

Please help me in the light of Islam. What should I do?

Q: What is the advice a person can give to a transgender person to revert back to the ways of Islam and Shari'ah?

Q: I was a Hindu and have two daughters. After the death of my husband, I married a Muslim man. My younger daughter and I accepted Islam. My elder daughter is now eighteen years old and has not accepted Islam. My husband and elder daughter do not have a healthy relationship as a father and daughter. She never wants to talk about changing religion. She wears T-shirts and jeans outside the home and tops and pyjamas at home which my husband doesn't like. I feel helpless in all this and get too stressed.

1. I want to know if she doesn't accept Islam, will me and my husband be sinful?

2. Will we be sinful if she wears such clothes although she never wears sleeveless or other vulgar dresses?

Q: My father scolds my wife for house issues. I told my father not to scold her because I am her husband and she is not his daughter. What should I do and what does Islam say regarding this issue? Is my father allowed to do that or not? 

Q: My mother comes from a strict Barelwi family. They are firm on many aspects of bid'at in addition to meelad, such as niyaaz, 40 day functions, kheer puuri niyaaz, urs, qabar reverence, and the like. In fact, they are the organizers and sponsors of these baatil events.

My mother said herself that in view of this behavior of her family, finding a respectable wife will be difficult for me. She said that people consider all this in marriage. Is this true? I told my mother that she has never indulged in this bid'at since marrying my father 20 years ago. Furthermore, I too am not a bid'ati. In fact, people know that I have strong aversion for such things and am even against the Seerat Jalsahs of the so-called senior Deobandi Ulama in South Africa.

Will this behavior of my mother's family affect my marriage prospects? Do people consider this in marriage affairs? Surely they will investigate myself and parents before just looking at the extended family? Please advise my mother and myself.

Q: It's very important to avoid fitna.

When there is an isolated opinion which contradicts the general opinion, can we say that there is a difference of opinion/divergence?

Example, Pharaoh died a disbeliever. If there is a scholar who emits the possibility that he did not die as a disbeliever, is it possible to invoke the expression difference of opinion/divergence?

In the case of Abu Talib, he died a disbeliever. If there is a person who invokes the possibility that he was saved, that his repentance was accepted, is it permissible to say that there is a difference of opinion/divergence?

Should the book of a scholar be brought to the general mass, he has the right to write this in his personal capacity for his own reflection, but is it right to attribute to him a difference of opinion/divergence?

Could he have done this for people of the same caliber as him, that is, a book addressed to other scholars and not to the general mass of ignorant people? For a person who is not scholar who does not even have the basics a student is allowed to quote his isolated opinions and to invoke a difference of opinion/divergence, my question is can you give us a detailed clarification on this on the rules business and not to do?

Q: I have two children both under 8 and my wife wants a third child. I'm 49 and my wife is 35. My mother feels that I'm too old to have any more children. My wife feels she's still young and would like another child. My mothers reasoning is that with my age I might not see my child grow up and leave my wife with having to look after three children. Should I go with my wife's wishes or is my mothers views correct. What is the Islamic ruling and advise in regards to this situation.