Advice

Q: I am copying my first wifes letter to you in her own words. No matter how much one sided it seems. I will not defend myself or correct any of her claims. She insists on divorce due to my second marriage. Here is her question to you in her own words. Please guide her.

Assalam wa alaikum. I need guidance from you for the most crucial point of my life. Please guide me in the light of Quran and sunnah. I belonged to a white collared family. My husband saw me and insisted with my family and his family and married me. After a few months of marriage i felt he had no interest in me. He never showed his love to me and spent his time in watching television and computer.he ignored me abd came late to the bedroom.on my asking he became angry.i lived with his parents and his two sisters. Because my status was low i had to tolerate many injustice and unfairness . I could not tell my parents and siblings . whoever did injustice with me, it was never solved and instead ignored. Then i demanded from my husband that people from both families should sit and solve it. But he did not agree. Then i asked divorce from him. During this i had a son and two daughters. I regular tolf him that you are doing injustice and according to sharia its wrong. But in vain. After 17 years of marriage my husband secretly married a woman abroad. But it opened up. I have protected this mans home honor and honored his parents and served them. I love my children and try to do my duties to them. He did not do his responsibilities and declined me his love. How can this man do equality between two wives who doesn't know right from wrong.i don't see any way of resolve and i feel i have been grossly misused. I want to use the right sharia gave me. I want to go far away from this man who didn't give me even the smallest of happiness. Sura baqra ayat 235. Surah nissa ayat 2. 127-132. Says clearly that equality cannot be done. Please guide me. My husband himself told me about you. Im sending this letter through him. I have no peace whatsoever. Please guide me and pray for me.

This is the whole letter from my first wife. I would be very thankful if you give a concise reply in urdu, because she cannot understand English well. Thank you.

Q: I want some advice from you:

1.I have done many things which is clearly disrespectful to Allah. Whenever I am in any bad situation or insulting situations I blame Allah and get angry.Actually I am really fed up.From the very beginning of trying to be a practicing muslim I am facing situations which have no explanation,situations which indicate that Allah is dissatisfied with me,I get insulted in front of people many times.I made tawbah for disrespecting my mother and seeked help to not doing this again but it became more difficult..even when I seek help from Allah for ease of impressing Him it became so much difficult specially salah has become a nightmare..I seeked help from commiting any sin..such as- I had to go through MRI and I didn't know if there would be non mahram I prayed to Allah to protect my parda but the situation was such that I had to face two males without my borkha hijab completely unintentionally..whenever I do a sin I don't feel like making tawba or make tawba but I know I will repeat it..because I think ,Allah gives tawfik to do something good in the same way it is in his control that someone will not do the sin or do the sin..so He is not helping me..and i am getting insulted in front of people..so the relation with Allah has become weak..also in my mind always negative things about different people goes on always..so I also have become rude..

2. I have a friend whom I don't ferl good to be with..as she is very controlling and negative.she always complains about this and that,her life to me.I try to be patient with her.she also has a problem,she is secretly married to someone but she has emotion for another person and she is so very much depressed.I told her to make lots of dua.she also talks about him which i hate but can't express to her .The problem is she thinks me as her best friend and shares with me everything.in this case if I ignore her she will really get hurt and become alone..but my mental peace is getting ruined..what should I do?