Advice

Q: I have been married for a year now. 6 months into my marriage I found out that my husband had been cheating on me. He was involved with a girl even before we got married and he continued that unlawful relationship throughout my marriage with him. When I found out, I didn't have the courage to tell him I knew, so I indirectly told him to get rid of the girl to which he agreed. That didn't happen. He continued lying to me and having relations with that girl. Finally, after giving him a chance to fix things, a month ago I confronted him. I told him I knew he was involved with another girl and that what he is doing is completely wrong. I asked him what he wanted and he told me that he wants to continue our marriage and wants me to give him another chance. So I did, for the sake of Allah. He said he broke all ties with her. Atleast infront of me he did. I knew he was broken up because he loved that girl and I know he doesn't love me. The problem is, we aren't too close to eachother. He doesn't ever tell me what's wrong with him if something is bothering him. He suffers from anxiety and depression and tends to isolate himself from the world. I feel like he and I have alot of distance between us. We have not emotionally bonded due to which sometimes I feel like I am living with a man that is fulfilling his duties unto me but there is no emotional connection between us. I know it will take him time to get over that girl but it tears me apart. I will never know if he has truly stopped talking to her. He uploads random depressing posts and statuses from time to time and I cant help but think that they all are referring to that girl! How am I supposed to trust him after that betrayal? He has been trying to fix things ever since I confronted him, but I don't really know if he has actually let go of that girl. Its been a month now and at times my heart still feels very uneasy. I sometimes feel like he contacted her again but i will never know the truth. Yesterday he posted something about letting go and giving up on someone you love and his status said 'I hope you find a love that you dont have to question'. What does all of that mean? I feel like he is sending that message out to his gf! I dont know what to do! I tend to get so miserable. How am I supposed to spend my life with a man that does not love me? How am I supposed to trust him after all those lies? What should I do to improve my marriage? My heart hurts so much. I sometimes wish I never met him. And now I'm in love with him and I don't want to let him go. But I also can't continue to live like this.

Q: I dont know how to start but I just want to talk about cancer which my mom is suffering from. We just came from the doctor and he said that the cancer has spread and has no cure. My mother is a very good person. I dont know how to explain to you but what do I do about this disease? The doctor said that she will never be fine. Can you advise me the best on what to do? I do pray alot and I have hope in Allah Ta'ala.

Q: My elder sister invited me to her daughter's wedding. I told her that after reading Behashti Zewar by Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi, I have decided not to go to weddings especially those which are arranged in marriage halls. She got really offended by hearing this. Later on, my brother in law contacted Ulama in Dubai and Pakistan and they gave him a fatwa that women attending the wedding is permissible provided there is segregation of males and females, no photography or music. They contacted Ahmed Mian Thanvi in Lahore and asked him to perform the nikah. By his presence they made me sure that it is permissible. Bahishti zewar is not like Quran, it could be tempered with or it does not stand applicable for today. They said that I am severing relationships and I am being an extremist whereas Islam is a Deen of moderation. My sister stopped contacting me and started evading me. My other brother and sister also got offended with me.

What am I supposed to do now. I am also very much hurt. They say that why do you contact Ulama in South Africa when we have so many Ulama in Pakistan and Dubai. Why are you following a tareeq so queer and strange. They believe that I have become deviant. If I remain quiet and do not contact my sister will I be accountable for severing the relationship?

Q: Is it allowed to tell someone your problems? I have been struggling from depression and anxiety kind of stuff. I didn't tell anybody about it so it got worse. I know alhamdullila, that only Allah can cure this and get me out of this but can I tell someone like sharing with someone and is it allowed to tell an Aalim of Deen about your problems as I faced problems and I didn't tell anyone about it so it got worse.

Q: I am a divorced woman with 1 baby boy. My last marriage ended because my ex husband was draining me financially. He sent me a divorce as soon as our child was born. Life became very difficult and I was mentally upset for my child. I married again very quickly to the elder brother of a man my younger sister was engaged to. These people were also lower in status financially but we agreed to it because they were willing to take my son too. That man has turned out to be schizophrenic. He sleepwalks, tries to suffocate himself or me, assumes things and acts so scary that I feel concerned for our safety. He beats me, abuses me, tries to scare my son badly. I often find my son scratched in various places and scared. I am expecting another child now. He is using me entirely for money, treats me like a servant even though I am heavily pregnant and cant walk. I pay the bills, grocery. I even leave my kid with my sister sometimes because I feel too scared for what he witnesses. People of our society will kill me for another divorce and he is always threatning me with it. His entire family is like this and they want to beat me to the ground. They wont let me end my sisters engagement unless I want a divorce again. I am so badly stuck and I am always so afraid in his company. My son has also told me in broken language that he touches his private parts. Please help me! I am extremely worried and scared.

Q: My husbands uncle asked him to marry his cousin. She lives in Kenya and we live in the US. I am okay with it but my husband is telling me that he feels like he is deceiving her because he doesnt think he can take the responsibility but he doesnt want to get his uncle mad and he regrets accepting it. What I want to know is, is it wrong for me to make dua saying "Allah, if he cant take the responsibility, may Allah not make the marriage happen" because I dont want the girl in sadness because she is my sister? I dont want her to miss the chance of having someone that will love her and not be forced because the father wanted?

Q: Is being childless a punishment from Allah? Am I childless because Allah is angry with me? Is it my fault that I am childless?

Q: I really need advice on what to do. I have a partner whom I love very much. We have a child together who is 7 years old but my problem is my partner never married me because he is married to someone and it was an arranged marriage they also have kids together, but his wife does not know about me and my son neither does his mother know. Years ago his mom came to know and separated us but he always came back. I cannot be with anyone else because I love this man and I have given him myself completely. But I also want too do things the right way because I believe Allah Ta'ala will want the same but he is so scared to tell his family about me and my son and to make things right. How long can I live with this of not being married to him because it's haraam and I just want things to be right. He does everything for me and our son and he does truly love us but how can we make this any better?

Q: I am a revert for five months now and I am currently doing my last year in media studies? I would like to take up Islamic studies but I am the only Muslim in my family and I fear that my parents will not support my decision. How can I handle this situation?

Q: I'm 25 years old, unmarried by birth. I am a Muslim and I was not practising till last month and now I got fear of Allah. I started praying and reading Qur'an everyday. I need help on this. I met a girl on social media 6 months ago. We chatted only online. She is Christian and her profession is sexworker (prostitution) and we started loving each other. She stopped working (prostitution) because of me. Does Islam allow me to marry her. Now I'm fearing about Allah more.