Rights of servants

Q: I would appreciate your insight into a family concern we are having at the moment. My father (a widower) is getting old, he is 78 years of age and currently lives on his own in a house 80 miles from my 2 sisters and 200 miles from me (the only son). Allahamdollilah over the years he has been in good health and is fully autonomous. But a recent event (a minor heart attack) have made us all question what is the right thing to do. Right now as the son, I am with him for at least a month to ensure he gets his full energy back. Beyond that though we have to think about the future and what is the right thing to do. My own current situation is that only within the last 2 years has my job situation become better (since moving to London). I am 33 and live in London (still single) whereas my father lives in Manchester 200 miles away. My sisters (who are settled with families) on numerous occasions have asked him to move to Birmingham (80 miles from where he lives) but he does not want to move there. The question is, I understand that as the son I have a duty of care to my father, but does that have to be at the expense of my own future? My line of work is not common in Manchester (where my father lives) and any jobs that do exist there are not very well paid. I do not have my own property in London so it is not possible for him to move down and also rent prices are high and he would not be willing to live in London anyway. He wants to stay where he is, does that mean as children we have to adapt our lives to accommodate his wishes?

Q: Seventeen years ago, when I was two years young, parents were divorced, mother took both the sisters and father took me (boy). Now I met them after 17 years. Can I meet my mother, though they are divorcee?

Q: Is it permissible to stay away from family and friends (just attend to their needs when and where required) and not socialize much?

Q: I would like to know if there are any Ahaadith on the rights of grandparents, as today's children say that there is nothing in the Qur'an regarding grandparents, there are only verses regarding parents.

Q: After marriage I realized the duty for parents and the position of amma in Islam. Before marriage and in my adolescent I was careless about giving respect to them and being obedient to them. But now I'm suffering from deep regret. I have told them sorry several times and try to make them happy as much as possible. But Now I left my home to my husband . I live in a different city from my parents. So it is too difficult to take care for them. I can only talk regularly, give them gifts sometimes. But nothing else. I have husband, mother in-law, father in-law, sister in-law and three brother in-laws. As a married girl, if I want to do my duty properly to my husband and in law's house, I can do almost nothing to my parents. But how can I get rid from this sin which have I done in my unmarried life to my parents.

Q: My mother asked me to do one thing which is halaal but my father asked me to do opposite of what my mother is telling me to do. My father's command is also halaal. Whom should I obey? My mother or my father? If I obey my mother my father will be unhappy and if I obey my father my mother will be unhappy.

Q: I understand that a woman's jannah lies with serving her husband as well as her parents/mother. Often, obedience to the mother's wishes is disobeying the husband. In cases like this who has more right over the wife? Should preference be given to the mother or to the husband?

Q: Pertaining to Huququl Walidain (Rights of Parents). Inspite of our best and sincere efforts we are unable to fulfil the rights due to our parents. Thoughts do develop in our minds and hearts whether we have missed to fulfil the obligations due yo our parents and these thoughts create a feeling of guilt and an unease feeling in our hearts which really trouble us a lot sometimes. The question is what is the reality of these thoughts and how we could still discharge the rights of our parents who have passed away?

Q: What are the ways in which we can serve and please our parents?

Q: I am a Muslim living in a non Muslim country. Our neighbour is a non Muslim lady drug addict. I am always afraid of some kind of harm from her as she is not in her senses most of the time. Am I still obligated to look after my neighbour and offer her food etc on a daily basis?