Overcoming waswasa

Q: I am being constantly faced with lots if wasaawis. I am not able to deal with it. I am thinking about almost each thought that passes my mind whether that thought did not constitute kufr. Due to this I am reciting shahadah again and again thinking I might have done kufr. I have read that we should ignore these thoughts...but I am not able to do it. I read lots of books by Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi Sahab, Maulana Zakariyya rahimahullah, etc. Alhumdulillah the books had great influence over me, and alhumdulillah I am striving hard to practise complete deen in my life. I have changed a lot. So, I have read about wasaawis in many books. But I am not able to ignore them... my health is also being affected due to the constant stress, thinking and the hard pressure which I put on my mind in order to think what I thought. I am in search of a shaikh also to do my tazkiya and also to guide me... but since I am a woman and also no one in the family is related to tasawwuf, I have not yet accomplished this. So my question is:

1. Please explain to me practically how to ignore the wasaawis. Do I have to obstruct them or let them pass in my mind?

2. Can you also say some other things such as muraaqaba etc. that will help me and also to ease and calm my mind.

3. Can I do baiyat with you? If not, can you guide me towards a shaikh?

4. Lastly, I need ur precious duas.

Trying to change one's life

Q: Reason why I'm emailing you is because I need urgent help. I have major hypocrisy in my heart with lots of maradh. I dont know what to do or where to even start! Please help me, this hypocrisy started 7/8 yrs ago when I fell in doubt with my religion and ever since then my life has been very miserable, I been through alot and it still hasn't changed me. Allah has given me lots of trials and I keep failing. I am also a hafiz of the Quran which makes this matter very serious. Up until now I got very scared as I've read the hadith from the prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) that most of the hypocrites of the ummah will be the Quran memorizers. This has scared me, do I have any hope of my hypocrisy to be forgiven if I repent sincerely. Again the key word is sincerely, I also have lots of arrogance and pride, I try to change it but its too difficult. I'll change for maybe like a few hours or even a day but then I go back to how I am. How do I change this for good? I am also very heedless, I think bad about Allah but I don't want to. I want to be back to normal like I how I was when I was younger. I have all the traits of the hypocrite, I lie everytime, sometimes I don't even realise I'm lying, I break promises, I have arguments, I have a big ego, I want all this to change. I also have riya but I dont know where to start. I try but its too difficult, can you please give me advice on where to start and can you also please give me advice, everytime I try to change I try to be a perfect Muslim but its too much to handle, I know we have to take it easy step by step but I overburden myself by trying to be the perfect person and everytime I do this I fail, within few hours I'm back to sqaure one!!! Im tired of this, I have gotten nowhere in life, life has been ups and downs, no self development, living life mostly depressed but i dont know what im living for, please please can you help me, I want to be submit my soul humbly to Allah but its too difficult, what can I do? I want to be a genuine person not a liar!!! This is very serious!!! Im an outward muslim but inside im not a believer, please help me.

Moving away from wrong company

Q: When I'm with people and they talk too much about dunya, like what's on sale, or politics, what is latest etc, why do I feel that my heart is kinda in pain? Like I don't like hearing it and I wish I could just close off and leave. I can't tolerate it at all. And this happens with my relatives a lot. Shouldn't I have sabr? I just sit there and just keep feeling sad inside. It's like I really hate people doing that. I feel like my heart burns or something. I'm scared of being absorbed into dunya by listening to people's talk.

Referring to an experienced and righteous Shaikh

Q: On this website a person asked if it is permissible to read Shaykh ibn Arabi's Hizbul Wiqayah -ad Dowr al A'la and the reply was that the works of the shaykh should not be read, even though the questioner sent a link to the work in question which is very much similar to the Hizbul Bahr which many of our Deobandi Ulama read. The work is actually a simple beautiful dua/wazifa/wird of 33 verses each one containing two names of Allah, a dua and a quranic ayat. What is wrong in this? At least the work should have been looked at before giving the fatwa. Please revise your answer as people will be deprived of this very beneficial work. This work is not at all like the other works of Shaykh ibn Arabi that has difficult tassawuf terminologies. It is merely a dua, consisting of Allah's names and quranic ayats.

Cure for hard heartedness

Q: How do I deal with a hard heart? I'm finding it hard to repent from major sins. I feel no guilt and no fear what can I do? I'm always concerned with worldly matters how can I focus on the akhira? What is my intention supposed to be for practising and how can I make my actions sincere as I am a show off and anything I do in religion I always seem to think about pleasing other Muslims so they can accept me. I know I'm a hypocrite but how can I change it when it happens automatically? I always feel like I'm against Allah and looking for other religions even thought I know Islam is right, like my heart won't accept it and I feel a lot of evil inside of me I don't know how to deal with it. I also have a lot of bad thoughts and am full of arrogance I'm constantly swearing in my head and have bad feelings towards Allah. I stay away from Muslims to stop the insincerity but even in private I'm always thinking about them. I know a lot of it is the effects of sinning but how can I repent when I feel no remorse and I feel like I'm lying and trying to trick Allah. Any advise would be appreciated.