Equality between Children

Treating one's children equally

Q: Please advise on the following:

A father has three children. A daughter and two sons. One son is married.

The father owns a business and both the sons work for the father, while the daughter helps out occasionally.

For the son that is married, the father gave them a house, pays for their water, lights, car payments, fuel, phone payments, etc. The father also pays for numerous holidays and gives them spending money for the holidays. The son is then given a large salary at the end of every month. The father in law is also required to pay for all the daughter in laws wants.

The other son and daughter both live with the parents still and thus the basic food and housing needs are taken care of. The unmarried children are given an allowance which they use for any extras such as clothing, car payments, holidays, hobby's, etc. This often leads to a lot of conflict in the family.

My question are as follows:

1. In a case like this, is the father being fair and just to his children?

2. Is there any difference in providing gifts, or support to the married son and unmarried son/daughter?

3. Is it compulsory for the daughter to work in the business to be given the same as the son while the parents are alive?

4. If the father spends on his wife (mother), is it compulsory for the daughter in law to receive the same?

5. Is it compulsory for the husband to provide the wife with an allowance? (not to be used for any households expenses or personal needs)

6. What obligations do the parents have towards the daughter in law with regards to financial support for needs and luxuries?

7. Is it the parents responsibility to buy and pay for the married son's house, car for the daughter in law, supporting the children on the grounds that he is working in the business and is entitled to it? (this excluding a monthly salary)

Treating one's children unjustly

Q: I know a man in our neighbour who is married twice. He divorced his first wife and has a daughter from her who is living with him not with her mother. And from the second wife he has a daughter too. But he does clear injustice between his daughters in many ways.

On social media he always posts pictures of his daughter from his current wife and never mentions the elder daughter. I know that girl is hurt by the deeds of her own father. And instead of asking her father, people ask that girl why your father does not post pics or mention you, why does he not care about you? She is always bullied by the people. What do you say about that man and will the poor girl be rewarded in the Aakhirah due to her sabar? 

Equality between one's children

Q: There are 4 sons, youngest son lives with parents, father is alive and decides to give youngest son 50% of the house share and 50% remaining to the other 3 sons. The youngest son has also purchased another house, but is living in the current one.

The other sons are not happy as they say that it was unfair for our dad to give more to the youngest, on the basis that he lives with him and in tradition the elder brothers should give youngest most.

The brother's refused the 50% share as they wanted full share, not half. Is there any sin on the father because he decided he wanted to choose who he likes to give?

Showing equal love and attention to one's children

Q: I want to know that if a child was expected to do certain things (provide,work etc) for the family by a certain age even when having other responsibilities isn't it only fair to expect all the other children, when they reach that age to be expected to do the same (especially since they have lesser responsibility than the first child did) as in Islam all the children should be treated equally, so just like they will have give driving lessons to the others as they did for the first child the same way the other children should be expected to do the same chores and work for the family the way the first child did.

Equality towards Children

Q: Would a father be sinful for giving some of his children more money than others - for example financing the trip of one child to go abroad but not giving any money to the other child? Another situation might be the father giving one child thousands of pounds for their studies and giving nothing to the other child. Or does Shari'ah allow a father to give one of his children more money than others (whilst the father is still well and alive)?

Treating one's children equally

Q: I'm very sorry, but this is quite a long message. I was wondering if you could spend a moment reading this and make clear for me an issue that I have insha’Allah.  It has been troubling me for a long time and is causing me great distress.  I just feel I need to explain where I’m coming from with this and feel you would better be suited to give me an answer, based on a more detailed explanation. 

I believe I try to be a just person and feel people should be treated fairly, and I would like to know if I am doing right by my situation detailed below. 

I know this is quite long, but I would be very grateful if you could answer  me I just don't know where to go for this.