marital problems

Khaawind apne biwi ko nahi chaahta

Q: Meri shadi 15may 2016 ko singapore mein hue rishta sirf tasveer dekh k hi meri sas ne kar diya merey bhai singapore mein rehte hain mery jane k dosre din hi shadi fix ho gai mery bhai jab k time mang rahe they shadi se phele mujhe hair fall ka masla tha jis ki main pakistan se treatment le rahi thi isi duran shadi ho gai main scarf phenti hn per mery ball hjarne ki wajha se itne ghane nahi they main apne sasural walon k same bina scarf k gai aur un logon ne dekha bhi shadi k bad main 3din aur 4 ratein apne sasural main rahi mery shohor ne mujhe touch nahi kiya unhone shadi k dosre din mery liye medicine mangwain aur kaha k bemari koi bhi khud nahi hoti tum theek ho jao gi main pori support karon ga un ki maan shadi wale din se change ho gaein thein mujh se rawaya theek nahi tha shadi k 4they din mery shohar ne mery bhai ko bula k mujhe le jane ko kaha aur bola main ne is ko touch is liye nahi kiya kyun k jo medicine ye lati hai us k side effects hain aur ye maan nahi ban sakti bhai ne bohat samjhaya us p meri sas ne kaha ham ne fatwa liya hai is ko talaq dene mein koi gunnah nahi main apne shoher ki dosri wife hn wo phele bhi ek pakistani ladki ko divorce de chuke hain mery bhai ne singapore k bare hospital mounth elzibat se mera pora checkup karwaya doc ki report k mutabik medicine k koi side effect nahi they aur mey ball 4 month mein 80 % recover ho sakte they is report k bad mery shoher ne kaha k ye theek bhi ho jae to mujhe qabool nahi unhone na koi call receive ki na msg ka reply diya mera pass cancel karwa k divorce fill kar di shariya court ne ham dono ko bulaya councilor ne un ko bohat samjhane ki koshish ki lakin wo mujhe best of luck bol k uth gae main pakistan a gai aj 9 month guzar gae case abhi tak pending hain mery ball bilkul theek ho gae hain per wo log ab ye bolte hain k main phele se talaq shuda thi unhone pata karwaya hai bhai k pass itne paisey nahi k wo wakeel k zarye case larein meri ammi in halat mein chati hain k wo koi munasib rishta talash karein sari hakikat bata k aur jab ye mamla khatam ho to shadi ho sake meri age 31 hai kiya wo in halat mein mery rishte ki koshish kar sakti hain .JazalAllah

Marital problems

Q: I am 25 years old married having a 2 year old baby girl. I am from Iran (sunni-hanafi) but was born and brought up in Dubai. I was guiltly trapped into marriage thou I did not like my husband. I have a 10 years gap with my husband and we both are very different. I grew up in a religious family and his family is so fancy. Hence, he never liked me and even I couldn't feel any love towards him because he is so proud, always so angry and talks meanly. He does not like me to visit my relatives or go shopping he just wants me to stay home. He always makes fun of me and my family. He is always so suspicious. He does not love, respect or trust me. We even have communication problem. Every time we speak, we end up arguing because we always misunderstand each other. I don't feel comfortable talking to him because he gets angry quickly and says rude and mean stuff to me. He goes and tells his mom whatever happens at home and he doesn't pray. Only in the month of Ramadhan he will pray and fast 30 days and then not even go for Eid prayers. Rest of the 11 months he wont pray atall. Thou I keep telling him to pray and I always make dua and have even fasted 3 days for Allah to give him hidaya he always listens to music. He does not work his father pays are expenses.3 years have passed to our marriage and i havent seen any change in him.I have lost my paitence and im so tired.It has now reached to a point that i get disgusted when he touchs me and i get so furious when he talks to me and is around.i keep refusing when he calls me to bed. But he use to force me and i know its sin to refuse your husband so i use to let him thou inside it killed me.I tried to explain to him that the way he treats me has brought a big distance between us but he said that im just bringing up excuses because i dont love him and dont want to live with him and said if i dont want to live with him i can leave and not even think of asking for the baby.My mom suggested me to tell him that if he starts praying i will put a stone on my heart and stay with him for the sake of Allah.But he disagreed to it and said he will start from ramadhan.So i told him either you start praying or give me a divorce.i really dont believe him why not pray today why after 4 months and his like i will try to change but i have really lost hope in him.Then i decided to pray istikhara for a week and prayed to Allah to show me the way by that if he starts praying i will stay and if not i will leave.After a week i took my baby and went to my parents house. But he came and wanted to take my baby, my mom had guests that day so before he could make an issue she asked me to go with him.Thou he knows im thinking of separation he forces me to bed.I want to give it a chance just for the sake of my child because i know he won't let me have her if i separate. But mentally im very disturbed and depressed and im afraid as a wife i won't be able to do my duties i wont be able to obey him because i have really lost hope in him.Please help me decide.

 

Separating from an unfaithful wife

Q: I am married for 15 years with three children, I love my wife but she is very difficult. She has slowly changed from committed women to complete irresponsible lady, took hijab out without my consent, then she stop praying and fasting, then she start going out with liberal clothes until we have been clashing several times. She put forward a divorce petition and made few false allegations to police in order to support her divorce. I have tried to calm her down as the divorce is not justified, invited her to do haj together but she refused, then I realised after a while that she was in relationship with another atheist man for a long time over Facebook who was teaching her how to get divorced and gets maximum money compensation in order to come to UK. The divorce still not finalized and we are in dispute about the children care at this stage. She is taking advantage of the law in this country and does not want to follow shariah law, having said that our marriage was done in Islamic country before we came to UK. What should I do with somebody broken the family and does not obey Islamic rules?

Refraining from asking the husband questions which may irritate him

Q: My husband recently started a new business course. I asked him how many women are there in the class and he got very angry and said I am pathetic and a sad person.

1. Islamically is it okay for a wife to enquire such things from her husband?

2. Can you please refer me to specific duas to help our marriage and to calm my husband down as he has a very bad short temper (with everyone).

Marital problems

Q: My husband and I are not living together. He had me thrown out of our marital home when I was pregnant. He has also uttered talaaq and revoked it. He has since moved back to his ex wife who he irrevocably talaaq. He is aware they living in haraam and refuses to let me go. He has asked me for sex saying we can get a room to which I refused and he got angry. He doesn't see to any of my needs but expects me to have sex with him then he brings me back to my mother house and he goes back to his mistress. Do I have a right to refuse him. Because now he using the deen against me whereas he not living according to Allah laws.

Marital Problems

Q: I work in qatar and I dont have family status to bring my wife and kids. I just got opportunity to work abroad. My brother works in dubai and stays with his wife and kids. My sisters husband recently got opportunity in saudi without family status. So my sister stays with my parents. Sisters husband also trying for family visa due to situtation, but his company not giving him and he is trying utmost level. Once he gets it he'll take my sister to saudi.

My wife was staying with my family members and after my sister comes home, my wife is upset due to my parents giving more importance to my sisters kids. Because of this my wife fought with me and now she is in her mothers house.

After continuous quarells with me, my brother got to know she had daily quarel with me, so brother called and shout her. So my wife got very angry and she informed to her parents and fight went beyond. Everyone knows in our society, how innocent my parents are, just because of they give importance to daughter kids, my wife got jealous due to this. She feels my parents doesnt care to take care my kids and they take care to my sister kids like that she feels.

We stay in rent house my things and brother things are in same rent house. In my house we have one big room and 1 small. big room my sister and parents sleep and small room me, my wife and kids. I knows its difficult to stay in small room due to small room, my wife fight daily with me to shift the house. During that time my finance was weak. Now al hamdhulilah i am earning good.

Now my wife wants separate rent house with my parents, she put the condition my brother things should not come, because my brother shouted her. My brother sasural family is from hyderabad, so we cannot send back their things, my parents will feel bad and brother sasural also feel bad if we send back their things. If we see two rents house, its difficult to manage to my parents, now they are old. My brother stay in abroad. I told my wife, please dont break brother bond, my parents cant take care two rent house and its difficult to maintain. But my wife is not ready to accept for this and she daily fights with me same. If i say my parents they feel very sad for this. Please advice me what step to be taken.

Zina se bachne ka tareeqah

Q: Mera sawal hai ke mere bewi ke khwahish muj say kam hai. Ham dono mai sex ki waja say jagde problems zyada hai our mere zarurat phora nahi karte to mai phir zina ke taraf mayel ho jata ho. Mujay kia karna chahiya ta ke ma zina say bach jao our apni bewi say zarurat pore ho.

Be wafa showhar

Q: Meri shaadi ko 7yrs ho gaye hai Alhumdulillah do bachhe hai Mere shauhar ne mujhse love marriage kiye the leki shadi ke teen saal baad se unka extra marital affair chalu hai mujhe maalum padne k baad unhone kasam khaye the k usko chhod denge lekin sab k samne wada karne k baad bhi unhone usko nahi chhode hum sab ko yakeen dilaye k chhod diya lekin dubara meine unko uske sath pakdi toh ab kehte hai k mujhe usse shadi karni hai woh meta koi haq ada nahi karte chaar saal se berozgar hai Mei kaam pe jaati hun ghar aur bachhe sab zimmedari mei uthati hun lekin mere shauhar mujhse ladte rehte hai aur mujhe sab k samne aksar zaleel karte hai us ladki ko chhodne ki baat karti hun toh sab k saamne meri galtiyan nikalte hai maarte bhi hai mujhe samjh nahi aata mei kya karun.Meine unko mohabbat se bhi manane ki koshish ki aur gusse se bhi lekin woh usko nahi chhodte.pls bataye mei kya karun woh mujhe talaaq dene bhi tayyar hai Mei bahot aajaz aa gaiee hun meri ammi bhi nhi hai na koi ghar hai na koi mujhe sahara dene wala .kya mei inse talaaq le lun.Meu Allahbse bahot dua karti hun k mera ghar tutne se bach jaye mere shauhar usko chhod de lekin kya pata Allah ko kya manzoor hai