advice

In-laws demanding big amount of money

Q: I performed only nikah with a girl back in February 2016. Her elder sister is married with my elder brother. Now some problems happened between my brother and his wife and they even went to court for their personal matter solution. Her family started threatening us and told us clearly that they will not arrange to send their 2nd daughter who is my wife to our house untill we write any property or big amount on her name. We are not able to meet this demand and it was also not a part when nikah was performed. Now I have decided to divorce her immediately. But may be in future I still expect they might change their conditions. What should I do? If I divorce her, what will be the possibilities and how can I remarry her if any solution is done? Please guide me.

Marital problems

Q: I got married 4 months ago. It was under family pressure but I did say yes ultimately. After struggling for 6 years of saying no they finally convinced me. I was more inclined towards the other guy who was interested in me (There was no haram relation between us) I kept the option infront of my mother but she declined due to this rishta who happens to be my cousin. After 4 months or so I dont feel attracted to my husband at all and I am thinking of the other guy who was better looking, had a good job and everything was perfect, I never leave my salaah, I have seeked Allah's help but Im in misery as my husband and I are not bonding up due to my lack of interest. What should I do?

Unable to talk to people

Q: I am suffering from a very bad situation. I am unable to deal with people. I can't talk to people. I have no confidence, no boldness. While I am in the presence of people, I begin to run away from there immediately. I feel that I am being pressed by people. I can't talk to even my parents. My collegeous friends also not talk to me. It is very serious problem. Since my childhood, I am less of a talker. But now at college level talking is very important. So, hazrat, please tell me any dua or wazifa so that I can beg to Allah.

Marital issues

Q: My wife wants us to stay in the marriage for the sake of the kids. She does not trust me and I have hurt her many times. But I know she wants us to stay together for the sake of the kids. Also I know that she wants to abuse me mentally as she has done for the past seven years. I have done wrong and I admit it. However I know that all she wants us to stay together for the children, but I am 100 percent sure that she also wants to abuse me verbally so that I can be punished. Is this correct? I don't want to be with her anymore but everybody feels that I should not divorce her for the kids. I feel I will just be living a lie and I feel that if she does not care about me, why should I live with her. I am fully prepared to look after my kids following the sharia. Please advise, is she correct or do I have a right to get a divorce?

Problems with the in-laws

Q: My in laws, especially mother in law tends to fight with me. She always blames me for her sons actions. We both working people, I work shifts and he works office hours, we always visit them on the weekend and for occasions in the week we are present and Thursday nights. If he works or I'm working then we can't go unfortunately, now she doesn't want to understand that if he is working, she will say that he is telling lies. She then sends me messages that it's because of me that his acting this way, all his sisters don't work, only his brother works but he works flexi hours, I don't know what to do, I really love my husband but feel I don't want to be part of this family, I can never boast about my husband to her because she becomes angry and jealous. Please advise as I'm suffering from depression due to constantly being oppressed by his family.

Masturbation

Q: I want to know the ruling on masturbation. Im 28 and my family does not understand that I have tried to control my sex desire bt now its out of control. I have done fasting, done all zikr, bt now I am in very much pain. Please tell me can I masturbate under such circumstances?

Marital problems

Q: Since my childhood me and my cousin liked eachother. It's been around 8 years that we are married to eachother and have 2 sons. During these 8 years she kept misbehaving with me and even kept abusing me often. I complained to her parents so many times to forbid her not to use slang words and not to abuse me but her parents never paid serious attention to my complains and always supported their daughter. I tried my best to make our married life happy but the situation did not change at all and even went worse day by day. During this time she kept asking me to divorce her on several occassions. Moreover she never respected my parents as well. The time kept passing with the same circumstances and I was completely faded up with the circumstances. Different people said that our couple is effected by black magic.

Few months ago, I fell in love with my office colleague. She was first my good friend and I shared my problems with her as a friend. At that time she was engaged with someone else. Suddenly her engagement was broken due to some family issues and then she asked me if I can marry her. I replied positively. But she put a condition that I will have to divorce my first wife before marry her. I replied positively without thinking anything. I fell in deep love with her and as the days passed she fell in love with me too. At that time I decided to divorce my first wife and then marry her. That girl continuously kept forcing me to divorce my first wife without wasting any more time. I kept trying to divorce her but something was stopping me to do so, may be because of my children and our parents and family. I wasn't getting any chance to divorce her. Finally I tried to divorce her but our parents and family members got involved in this matter and all came to know that I am doing this because I wanted to marry the other girl. According to Muftis the divorce which I issued to her was counted as a single divorce and I had 3 months to revive my marriage. Different Maulanas said that I was affected by black magic by a girl and that's why I am so desperate to divorce my first wife. Everyone in my family blammed me without understanding the problems of my married life which I have been facing for 8 years. I was so desperate to marry that girl and I found a way. I told that girl clearly that I will not divorce my first wife and wanted to marry her as well, she agreed as she was in deep love with me. So, I moved to UAE alone to find a job and finally I got a job and I came to Pakistan to marry that girl, thought that I would take her to UAE with me after marrying her and after some time I will let my parents know about my second marriage. I kept everything highly confidential. Only few of my friends know about it. I came to Pakistan for 4 days. Asked my friends to play a role as my elder brother and his wife and went to that girl's home for my marriage propsal. Me and that girl told her parents a lie that I was divorced, didn't tell anything that I am already married. I lied to her parents that my parents can't come for my marriage proposal as they were in Saudia and that's why my elder brother (who was actually my friend) and his wife have arrived for my marriage proposal. Next day, we arranged a small ceremony and did Nikah on 12th February, 2017 and I took her to UAE with me, keeping everything highly confidential. After few days my first wife came to know about my second marriage and she again started misbehaving with me, used slang language with me and insulted me. My parents still do not know about my second marriage till date and I do not know why but I can not dare to inform my parents about my second marriage. I do not want to divorce my first wife now and even do not want to leave my second wife, as I am happy with my second wife and she respects and cares about me alot. Now I am too much worried as my first wife is continuously asking me to divorce my second wife and my second wife has also asked me for few times to divorce my first wife. I do not want to divorce any of them, as if I leave either of them, their life will be spoiled and effected in a very bad way and on the other side my parents still do not know about anything whatever is going on and I can not dare to inform my parents. I am afraid of their reaction after knowing about my second marriage. My second marriage is based on a lie, as her family members except her mother do not know that I am already married and even they do not know that who went there for my marriage proposal were not my real brother and brother's wife.

Please guide me the best solution in the light of Islam and your best knowledge.

Giving up watching porn and masturbating

Q: I am a very bad boy very much trying to be good when I am alone. Alhamdulillah I am a kind of boy who had spoiled by my bad friend, in my small age, that bad guy taught me bad things forcefully in my 3rd standard, this forceful learning spoiled my heart, Now presently I am engineering student. Alhamdulillah upto know I am as a good boy to every one (honest, trustworthy, advice giver, problem resolver etc...) I have one bad habit which taught by my friend i.e.. Watching pornonography and its related issues. After every time I did that, I torture myself and regret for that and strictly makes niyyah not be repeat that, but unfortunately it's repeating. Once I left that for one year but it's repeating This all done by me when I am alone. Outside, when I see any girl, I don't look at them, not even talk to them but helps them when they asked. Outside my intention is good ie. I thinks that if anyone looks at my sister how I feel bad, like that they are also sisters and daughters of others so I don't even look at them. I am suffering this almost from 12 years But no one knows except me and Allah. I am acting like two different persons characters ie.. Mostly different in night, Every time I feel religious but suddenly I become evil for certain period and then my regret starts.

Recently I talked to a mufti in mobile, I hadn't told him my story, but he asked my mothers name and said I am frequently attacked by a very big jinn, who comes to me and changes my mood to bad etc... He told me as I told him that I am not feeling good. I tried almost everything to solve this problem with out exposing this matter but I am unsuccessful, so I am telling this to you.

I have another doubt also as I am fighting this for 12 years to get rid of this, if I got rid of this completely, are my sins erasable by Allah. Now, could you please instruct me, If you think that i am attacked by some jinn then plz give me some effective Ruqya (presently I am reading muawwidatein morning and evening). Plz help me until I get completely cured, I will update my status to you frequently.