advice

Q: I lost my mind and shaitan makes my eyes blind. I had touched my sister sexually when she was sleeping. I think that kafara is the best way to avoid shame. 

Q: My maid is working since 1 year at my place. After she joined, some months later I caught her stealing. Once I caught her removing a wallet from a jeans then after 2 or 3 days she was stealing onions. When I caught her, I said to her in a nice way that you should not do this. Before this, she stole 20 rs from my sons pocket and then she apologised. The next time I will not do it and thereafter many vessels disappeared from the house. My mother in law used to tell me everyday to ask her whether she took it or not. Our neighbour used to always say that she used to steal needles. She even asked why did you keep her to work. You should remove her I told her that now she is not stealing. She apologised but i still doubted her and yesterday I was searching for my earing and I didn't find it. Today in anger I scolded her directly that you had taken that earing, bring it back. She was saying that I had not taken it. She told me to check her house and suitcase. I told her not to talk rubbish to me, I know you had taken it. Bring it back. I also called my neighbour and her maids for proof that she is stealing everyday from their house but at that time my neighbour refused and my maid was crying like mad. She was saying I had not done it and I said to her in anger, because of this habit of yours, no one is keeping you for a longer. She went crying like mad from here and then after I called my mom, my earings were at my moms place. I called her and apologised 3-4 times but she was crying and saying that I will not come. I was feeling it is like my home when I started working. I got fever now and I will not come to your place. She said that her heart is badly hurt (dil pe lagi hai mere). Now if she will curse me and my family, then I am feeling scared from inside. I was also very strict with her. Without thinking, I scolded her loudly because of her previous deeds. I felt she is steal stealing. Now I told her to come here one more time, I want to apologise before all to her, but she is refusing to come. What should I do?

Q: I read "The Sunni Path", "Endless Bliss", etc. published by Hakikat Kitabevi Publication, Istanbul, Turkey up load by website hakikatkitabevi.com

All information so far in my knowledge are within the Sunni creed & strongly emphasized to the Tasawwuf. But I am astonished that the "TABLIGH-I-Jamaat" of India is termed as heretic instituition & MAWLANA ASRAF ALI THANAWI, the writer of the "Heavanly Ornament" is also noted as Bedd`ti (heresy) while most of the Indian sub-continent Sunni accept the "Jamaat" and considered it Mujaddid wa munawwir alf-i-thani as the true Islamic reformer respectively.

What is your opinion in the light of "The Holy Qur`an & Hadith" ? Should we, religiously ignorant, not read the books published by its producer "HUSEYN HILMI ISIK"?

Q: What causes forgetfulness after learning knowledge, when either reading a book, or listening to a lecture?

Q: My family had got a proposal for me and I was interested but with no solid reason my father refused. He said things like, the boy's family were living far away, and also he is 10 years older then me. I did istikhara many times and I got no negative signs. I do pray daily to turn my heart away from this but it is uncontrollable now. I want advice whether I should ask my family to consider it. I'm afraid that once it mustn't get refused for a reason that is not valid.

Q: I need the help of Allah with me every second of every day. I need Allah with me. I do not want charity from anyone I need Allah.

س: السلام عليكم و رحمة الله . سيدي العزيز . أنا رجل قد تعرضت للخيانة من زوجتي و صديقي و إكتشفت ذلك مؤخراً بعد أن رأيت صور لها على الكمبيوتر الخاص به و إعتراف منه و هي قد كذبت عندما واجهتها بالحقيقة ومع الحلفان بالله كذباً و هي مستمرة بالكذب في هذا الموضوع و هي ليست عندي الآن و لي منها طفلان و قد حرمتني من رؤيتهم أو حتى التكلم معهم هاتفياً و طبعاً هذه العلاقة بينهم حرام من عند الله و أفعالهم قد دمرتني مادياً و نفسياً و معنوياً و بكل الأمور و الله يعلم كيف أصبح حالي الآن و المشكلة أنني أسكن في دولة أوروبية ألمانيا و قد أصابني الهم و الغم و الحزن فأنا بلا طعام منذ ايام فقط الماء و ملعقة من العسل صغيرة و ضاق صدري و لا أدري ماذا أعمل ؟أرجو توجيهي لأي شيء فأنا أريد أطفالي و مع أنني شهدت خيانة زوجتي لكن في قلبي بعض الحب لها و هي تعتبرني عدو بالطبع لتحقيق أهداف في رأسها تضعها و غالباً لكي تبقى دون حسيب او رقيب مع العلم ليس لديها أقارب لها في هذه الدولة . فيا شيخي الكريم أكرمنا و أكرمك الله وحهني ماذا أفعل و هل يجوز إن تابت أن أعيدها إلى بيتي و ماذا عن حرماني من أطفالي ؟؟ و شكرا لك و السلام عليكم و رحمه الله

Q: I have a difficult situation that I am dealing with right now, and I really need some advice. I'm not sure where to go to with this question because I do not have a local masjid, therefore nobody who could advise me. I am a revert who lives in the U.S. I met a guy who lives in the UK, and we have planned on getting married for about three years now. We have been waiting for the right time to get married and are now planning to this summer in Sha Allah. When we get married, I'll be leaving the U.S. and going to the UK to live with him and his parents. We've discussed this several times before, and he tried to make sure I was okay with living with his parents or trying to decide if we should get our own place. I'm very close with his family, so of course I said I didn't mind living with them. Recently an issue came up that we can't seem to settle. He and his mother are both saying that after we get married, I am not allowed to come back to the U.S. for any reason even to visit my family. They also said at first that I couldn't have any contact with them either, but after a discussion about it, they have agreed that I can still talk to them just not go see them. My family doesn't agree with my choice of religion and they don't support me, but at the end of the day they are still my parents and I still love them. He claims that they are scared my parents may harm me (or my children if I take them with me), but I don't think my parents would do that. I've been trying to be very optimistic and hope that once they see my lifestyle and what being a Muslim woman is really like instead of what they have always heard, they will come to accept my choice even if they don't fully agree with it. I also have a sister who I am very close to. It's heartbreaking to me to think about not ever seeing them again. It's going to be hard moving to a new country and being so far from them at first, but that doesn't really upset me as long as I know I can see them again. When I think about leaving here and how when I tell them bye it may be goodbye for life... It kills me inside. I've tried to explain my side of things and ask the guy to picture himself in my shoes. He said he saw my point and doesn't mind me coming back to visit him. However, he had a private conversation with his mother again and now he is taking her side and doesn't want to change his mind. I've tried to tell him that I mean no disrespect to her. I love her like she's my own mother too, but I just don't think it is fair and I can't understand why she won't change her mind. She has two daughters as well, wouldn't she be upset if their husbands or mother in laws prevented them from seeing her again? He's gotten really stressed out over this issue and thought we shouldn't get married after all. He feels like he's having to take a side, which he is, but it makes me feel bad. I think there will be many times in life where the husband will have to take either his wife's side or his mother's about certain issues (hopefully not all as big as this one) and I don't expect him to always take mine. However, this is an issue that I feel very strongly about, and we are both worried that it could cause a lot of problems down the road. We are in her house so she makes the rules. I don't want to go against his mother and I do still want to get married to him, but my family is important to me even if they don't agree with my lifestyle. There's events like my sisters graduation and the births of her children that I don't want to miss. Can him and his mother really keep me from seeing them or do I have a right to still see them even if it's against his mother's wish?

Also, if the mother is so strongly against this, do you think that we should still get married?

Q: Can you please tell me some advices/the importance of unity in the ummah and also how eating together creates unity.