advice

Q: I am in a difficult situation and need some help. I have been married for 6 months. My father in law gifted a house to my husband which we have been living in since the beginning. My husband has an elder sister who is divorced. She has been living with the elder brother and his family, but due to difference of opinions, some fights and due to not being enough space in their house, they can't keep her any longer. My father in-law has now asked us to take her into our house. My father in-law is married for the second time and lives with my husbands step mother, thats why its not possible for him to keep the daughter in his house. Another thing is that the sister in law has her own house (which she has rented out to someone) just 2 mins away from where we live. She is independent and works fulltime. I feel uncomfortable sharing the house with her because I have become used to having the house for my husband and me. We wont be able to have the same private life in the house with her presence. There is a big age difference between me and my sister in law and i am afraid that unwanted discussions/ fights can start in the house. What should we do in this situation? Should my husband try to ask my father in law as to why she cant live in her own house or should we just keep quiet and let her in the house?

Q: Since I am earning a basic salary and only meet my household needs for each month with only a little left over to spend on odds and ends what possible ways are there for me to ensure that my wife is able to give birth in a decent enough place that has correct treatment facilities and doctors. I under stand private hospitals are expensive and so are specialists. So is there any way that a normal gp can perform the delivery in a public hospital but at the same time ensuring that the wife giving birth gets the correct treatments. Or is there any medical aid or hospital plan available out there that us most Shar'iah compliant in order to help this need? Similarly are there any facilities that are not expensive that the wife can go to for delivery and or check ups? This is a question in need as some places are really in a bad state and to send women there and to be on those beds are not the best.

Q: I have been going through these perverted thoughts all the time (homosexual) and I know it is a grave sin. I don't indulge into any such actions but stare at good looking men with desires and later I am filled with regret and grave depression. What should I do to get rid of it?

Q: Will Islam and its followers accept me? Does God really matter?

Q: I did istikhara to study in a non-Muslim country which came out good. I know that in a non-Muslim country people do anti-Islamic and blasphemous activities or support them. The University itself has a professor who supports blasphemy as freedom of expression. I will not be studying under him, but he is still in that University. I am afraid that due to this, my studying there were affect my love for Islam and the Holy Prophet(Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) and that I may be among the bad people in the hereafter. I feel that if I do not boycott this, then I will die as a kafir or I will be questioned that why I studied under and with such people who support blasphemy. My heart says that I believe that Islam, The Holy Prophet(Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) and the hereafter is important and therefore I must leave the education in that country. Please let me know what to do as the istikhara result was good and I do not know what to do.

Q: What to do when relatives (around 12 people or sometimes more than that) come to your home without invitation and it makes you so frustrated that you are unable to follow the Sunnah of hospitality, however you still take care of their comfort and food? What to do when their stay makes you extremely tired, restless and helpless. You can't sleep well. Your kids can't study and you can't go to your work place on time and also when all of these people come from another city to do their shopping and you have to take care of their children while they go to shop. Please tell me what to do. I don't want to behave badly with anyone. I don't want to make my Allah angry but their stay make me literally ill. It gives me migraine because they are extremely loud people and they keep talking late night till three. My father says it is in Deen. No matter what they do with us, we have to be nice otherwise we will get gunnaah. But I don't believe this, because in Islam there are equal rights for everyone. Allah can't let only one person suffer.

Q: Nowadays I am confronting a huge problem. The problem is that I become angry at very small mistakes of others. I can't tolerate anybody elses joke. Sometimes this anger fades away quickly, but sometimes it becomes prolonged. I don't know what to do about it. I am an engineering student, 21 years old. Please grant me a solution to this problem.

Q: My mother is a widower since 18 years. She raised me her daughter and my brother on her own. I am married for seven years now Alhamdulillah. My brother is married for four years. He is involved in drug addiction. He has no child yet. My mum has money and good house but no happiness at all. Life is all scattered. She wants to ask what could be the reason for such situation?

Q: I had a excellent relationship with my in laws until Monday night. My wife made a request to visit her Granny at her parents place before leaving back to Cape Town. I agreed. We arrived at my inlaws place. I greeted everybody as usual and sat down with my father inlaw and brother inlaw. Azaan called and we all left for Esha. When we returned from Esha I did not go in to the house, I sat outside on the portch. I could overhear father inlaw, my wife, and my brother inlaw discussing his technicon registration, so the discussion went on for and hour or so while I sat outside on my own relaxing. My wife and father inlaw step out of the house, and my wife said she is ready to go, but she and my father inlaw was still saying a few words to each other, while I sat on the couch not saying anything. My father inlaw all of a sudden began to swear at me and shout me, telling me to get out. When i questioned him in a polite manner as to why is behaving in this manner he began to aggressive and wanted to beat me up. I was shocked. I got up jumped in my car and drove off. I was in a state of shock,it was the second time he has done this to me, The first I overlooked it and walked away. The next morning he sends me a text apologising for this, I did not reply as I am very upset as I have always respected this man and treated him like my own father. My question is, my wife shows no remorse for her fathers actions, secondly I need to know that i have decided not to go to my inlaws home anymore as I feel threatened and uneasy, is the permissible, and I will only allow my wife to visit once a week, and not go any where with her parents without my consent. Please reply with advise also.