advice

Q: We can do isthikhaara for divorce?

Q: My father is in a relationship with his brothers daughter (which is haraam). We came to know this two years back...when we confronted him...he left us...he is not ready to leave her...he is committing zina. Last two years he is not in contact with anyone from the family...in these circumstances what is to be done? Is the nikaah still valid between my mother and father? When he left he said that he will send papers to my mother...but till today there is no single word from my father... He is not accepting halal relationship?

Q: I had an overreacted argument with husband via text of which I called him an idiot. He said he hated me. After a few more words out of anger I said “i want a divorce”...my anger lasted a few hours. Of which I told his sister that me and her brother will seperate and I want my gold packed up (as I was in my mothers house). I have never been this angry with him in my 2.5 years of marriage, Shaitan took over. Ofcourse I had regretted and asked for his forgiveness many many times. I had some issues with the inlaws and that all built up in that moment of anger and I had flung it on him. I have repented!

Will I not smell the fragrance of Heaven? Now the tables have turned and he has divorced me (1 talaq) after begging him but he refuses. As I had said about my marriage to one of his cousins. He says that i am a liar, and wont believe how i had felt at his house. I dont want to be accountable to Allah swt and i also think that this is a petty divorce.

Q: My parents have been divorced. My father who is a foreigner lives alone. He is verbally and emotionally abusive to myself and siblings. I want to maintain good relations with him however each time I would try to engage with him he would react abusively by saying nasty things about my family members and by cursing myself and family members. (Cursing my mother, brother, sister, husband, etc.). What should I do? Is there any Amal I could do in particular to help this situation?

Q: The reason for my email is that I am struggling to find myself on a religious level and would like to know more about Islam. I grew up in a very strict Christian home and most of my life I have only been exposed to how Christian people should live and it’s very difficult for me as my views about a lot of things regarding religion has changed since I went to University. It’s not that I don’t believe in anything, it’s just that I’m very confused as to what to follow. In the past three years, since I left home to study at Stellenbosch University, I have been exposed more to the Muslim religion and ever since then i started questioning my Christian ways, but I’m to scared to tell my parents about how i feel because I’m afraid that they won’t understand where i come from and I’m also scared of disappointing them. So i ask you if you can, will you please help me to understand your religion better just to help me find myself?

Q: I need to know how to help my husband to stop being sarcastic and rude to everybody (his family, my family, close friends, my kids and I). His family even complains to me about how rude he is. I really don't know what to do anymore because it is affecting the way my son speaks as well. Do I take him to a therapist, Moulana?

PS: He doesn't see anything wrong with himself

Q: My husband has a son from his 1st marriage, he is 17. When we got married we used to see him at the weekends but then that stopped as it all went to court. Over the last year he made contact with my husband and they see each other every few weeks. Now his son wants to move in with us. I don't have an issue if he comes to visit but I am not comfortable with him moving in as I have a daughter from my previous marriage. She has not reached puberty yet but is 12 and will do soon.

My husband is adamant that he moves in with us. I want to know where I stand Islamically in this. My husband moved in with me into my property which I owned before I married him. My husband does own a property but his father and brother reside there.

Q:

1. I have an e-cigarette. It is like an alterative to a cigrette and I've got lots of different types and spent alot of money on them but I want to stop it completely. Should I throw them away and go against my nafs?

2. I am a younster with hormones and I used to make accounts to watch naked women perform acts. Each time I had the urge I'd make a new account. Should I leave the accounts and ask for forgiveness and not go back to the accounts even if the accounts are there and not getting used? Will I be sinful everyday if the accounts are not there because I don't know how to delete them.

Q: Since my childhood I have been a high achiever and a very enthusiastic person but it has been very recent for about a year and a half post my graduation I feel hopelessness and lack of motivation to do anything. Never have I ever been proud or looking down upon others. But somehow I have ended here, I try but fail at accomplishing anything I start, moreover its the mocking and taunting from everyone around who expect me to achieve something especially after being so good at my studies all this time. I dont know why I'm failing at life at everything. Its consuming me. Please help me get rid of this depressed state of mind.