advice

Q: How much of my past must I tell to any potential bride? I am wife hunting and have had a colorful past to say the least. Potential wives have been asking about my past. I am sure that they would not want to have anything to do with me if I told all. Even though I am now a reformed person and trying to increase my understanding of Deen. So I thought what is appropriate in Islam in this situation.

Q: A month ago I went to perform umrah. When I was at home and planning for umrah, I was feeling blessed and happy and I started crying whenever I think about Ka'bah and Roza of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam). But when I really reach there, I cannot feel anything. I cannot cry there. I was really upset thinking that Allah is not happy with me that is why im not crying but then I think if Allah was not happy, He will not allow me to this holy place. But I am still upset. I don't know what happened to me. It is unbearable.

Q: I have adopted Islam and married a Muslim man. I have two daughters from my earlier marriage who was a Hindu man. My daughters have not adopted islam yet. We keep on trying to make them understand and adopt Islam. My elder daughter is fifteen years old and younger one is 13 years old. Elder daughter gets angry whenever we talk about changing religion and wants that we should not talk to her regarding religion in future. Younger one says she will very soon adopt Islam. I want to know how should my husband interact with my elder daughter after knowing that she will never convert to Islam? I also want to know can my husband make dua for them as they are non-muslims but they are his daughters?

Q: I have been married for almost nine and a half years. I have always contributed to the household taking care of groceries and the other household expenses. My husband never ever gave me an allowance. he has a very extravagant lifestyle and has incurred a lot of debt. He has always taken care of his sister's expenses and spent huge sums of money doing an extravagant wedding for her which partially contributed to his debt. To keep the peace I just continued to make contributions to the house and other expenses. Sometimes cut back on things I needed just to ensure that he got what he wanted. In the past 3 months, he asked if I could assist him with budgeting to help him get out of his debt. I have also helped fund his lavish lifestyle of buying expensive clothes and paying for his fancy cellphone. When I pointed out his faults and where he needs to cut down on. He could not accept that he was wrong and refused to cut back on certain luxury items. In a fit of rage he dumped my clothes at my mums house whilst I was still at work and issued a talaaq 1 on whatsapp an email. I would just like to enquire if iddah is compulsory for me to sit in my mum's home or is it permissible for me to go to work daily. I do feel very alone as my Dad is deceased and my brother is out in 2 months Jamaat in another country at the moment. During this time my husband has gone and discussed the divorce with all my uncles and so he says with the Jamiat as well. Even though the Jamiat did not here my side of the story. his dad is away on Umrah. I sent a message to both his dad and sister telling them that he wants to end our marriage because his in financial distress and yet they are the ones that have put him there. Neither of them even bothered to respond or show me any support and yet I am the one that allowed them to have a good life whilst I had to go out and work and take care of myself. Most of my uncles do show me a lot of support, however I am one who tends to bottle up my feelings and just take the pain and do not express what is really going on inside my heart. Your guidance will really be appreciated.

Q: I am my husbands second wife and married to him since three years. His first wife fights with him now and then as he married me. She threatens him that she will leave his house and take away his children with her. She curses him to die and has scratched his body while fighting . Then after few days tries to be normal as if nothing happened and my husband also forgave her for her bad deeds many times but now the relations have worsened and he wants to divorce her but she doesn't want divorce because she thinks that her husband will become free and will live happily with me. They are not having any any physical relations since a long time. Is my husband at fault for not keeping physical intimacy with her? He is taking care of his family otherwise and doing his duties honestly. Kindly let me know what should he do?