Marital Issues

Q: I have been married since 2008. During my first year of marriage, my husband hit me, swore me, smashed the wind-screen of my car and used drugs. I went back home for nine months trying to get my talaaqs from the jamiatul-ulema. They said we should reconcile. We did reconcile and I fell pregnant. My husband started using drugs and got hectic, straight after I gave birth, he went to rehab. When he came out, we went for counselling and soon afterwards, I suspected he was using, but he said it was only weed. I fell pregnant again but had a  miscarriage. I refused to go back unless he signs a conditional talaaq valid for six months. In that six months he broke two of the conditions. We then went for marital counselling. He still abuses me mentally and verbally. He doesn't physically abuse me as bad as before. He
just pushes and pulls here and there. I got a faskh granted on this basis from an Imaam who is an Islamic minister at a certain center and began sitting my iddat. Now he says that he has found out from Ulama' that my faskh is not valid. Is my fasgh valid and who can issue a fasgh? I do not want to go back.

Q: Their is a friend of mine who wants to marry a girl but he is not able to decide as the girl has told him that she was in relation with a boy in past and has been physical with him also. And on the contrary my friend has also been physical but he has made a serious repent to Allah and is a practising muslim now Alhamdulillah. So he is very much confused now whether he should marry a girl who is not pure? Though he is not in touch with that girl now but is still very much confused about that girl what to be done. As he himself is not pure but now has made sincere tauba. So request you please help on this case.

Q: I have been married for 15 years but my marital life has turned up side down, in fact last few months back my wife was supposed to take khula but since I cried for the children that got postponed. Now my wife's father in demanding me to give talaaq as they will not give me khula' and are making a lot of false allegations. I am not interested in giving talaaq but her parents are demanding from me talaaq as in the case of Indian law they can ask anything from me after talaaq or they can even put false cases and can extract money and property from me. Please advise me can I refuse to give talaaq and is this as per Shari'ah law? In case she wants she can go for khula.

Q: I am married to a girl. In my short age and its five years of marriage now she is not taking care of me and my family. We have done love marriage and no one is happy. She is also involved with another guy also. I forgave her a lot of times but she didn't become true again. Now I have left her at her home and want a divorce from her and even I have contact with another girl who loves me a lot and even we have close relation like we have done kisses and hugs not more than that. I also want to marry her. Could you please tell me is my nikaah already raised with her and what will I do to solve this problem because my first wife don't want to leave me and this one also don't want to leave me as we are in a close relation?

Q: My husband is talking to another woman. I have seen his messages on his phone and it makes me very uncomfortable. He goes to see her and talks to her everyday. Once I confronted him and he accuses me of asking for a divorce. At times I struggle with this but then I remind myself Allah has a plan for and sabr is the key. This is not the first time he has done this but I forgave him every time but on this occasion I cannot get it out of my head. I say to myself Allah is all seeing all knowing and Allah will show him and better him. But this does not satisfy my feelings. Please help.

Q: My husband promised me that if I allow him to marry a second wife he will buy me my own house. We are living with his parents for the past 8 years. I accepted it because I knew that nothing is going to stop him from wanting a second wife and I have lived in his parents house for long a home of our own is something we dreamed of a long time. We started looking at houses same time he was looking for a wife. Any way he got married and after some time he told me that a Moulana told him he can't buy a house for me because if he does he has to buy the same kind of house for his second wife even if she doesn't need it she can rent it out. I know all about equality between wives etc but this promise was made to me before he married her. She has her own apartment which her father bought for her after her divorce. I feel cheated I feel very very very cheated. I don't think our Allah is a oppressor and I feel very oppressed right now. I share a room with my 4 kids. It's not fair on me this can't be fair.

Q: I stay in a joint family of one brother in law and my husband. But there is a problem with my brother in law and his wife. She does not want to stay with my parent in-laws but his parents don't want him to go nor he wants to get separated and stay with his wife and they have a son who is disabled. What dose the shariyah decide on it? She is planing to go to the shariyah court and if they don't agree, she will go to the court. 

Q: I want to know that I am in a nikaah for the last 7 years but till now I am at my parents home. No rukhsati has been done. My in-laws are dodging us. I want to know is there any wazeefa that I can do so that they will start taking some steps for this as soon as possible. Please help me. I am very much worried.

Q: My friend took khula from her husband (father of her kids) and after a year did nikaah with someone else. After 2 months she left him and went back to her ex-husband and denied her nikaah with the second husband and remarried her first husband without taking divorce from the second husband. She said that the second husband is lying about their nikaah and even filed a case of marriage jactation against the second husband in the court which is still pending. Now after 2 years she is again meeting the second husband secretly while she is still staying with her first husband and now she says that the second husband is her husband and she has sexual relationship with him and goes back home and acts like her first husband's wife and also has sexual relations with him. Please tell me who is her Islamic husband and who is doing zina with her? 

Q: I pray you can help I'm desperate for some direction. Me and my husband both work. I earn more than him. His family lives in another country.  His father works but has a lot of debts to pay off. Me and my husband have been married for a year only so we don't have much savings. He pays the mortgage and I pay the bills. We cannot save much.  He asked me if we could send his family £500 a month. I wanted to send less as we have just got married and need to save. But he got angry so I agreed to £500 a month to send to his family. He promised me that if in any given month we were short on money or we wanted to spend on us for example buying furniture then he would not send his family £500 for that month. He promised me we would only send them money if we were able to every month. We have been sending them £500 a month for many months now. We are planning to have a child. I will have to stop working in a few months. We can't live off his pay only so we need to save some money for when I'm not working. Also our house is furnished with old furniture from my parents house. Last week we went furniture shopping. My husband was reluctant to buy anything. He told me he didn't think we should spend on furniture because he wants to give his dad. £1000 for a visa to visit us. I got upset because we only have £3000 in our savings and we need to save for when I have a baby. He got angry that I said no and we had a fight. It's my money too that I earned so I felt I had the right to say no especially when we send £500 a month already. Anyway this month we do not have much money to spend and buy much food. We are living penny to penny. We have £3000 in our savings but we are not touching that because we will need it when I fall pregnant. So this month we couldn't afford to send his dad £500. But now he wants to take £500 out of our savings to send to his dad. I feel hurt because he knows we are living penny to penny this month so we don't eat into our savings but now he wants to send £500 to his dad? He gets paid at the end of the month I told him to send it then. But he got angry and said he will send another £500 then! I'm worried he isn't thinking about the fact that in a few months I won't be earning and we will rely on his income only which isn't even enough to pay the bills so it's important that we save now. I don't mind sending his dad money when we are able to. I feel cheated. He promised me he wud only send his parents money if we have enough money too, but I feel he prefers us to struggle so he can send them money. Am I wrong? Please please advice as I don't want to do anything islamically wrong.