Marital Issues

Q: My husband is one of your fans. He used to listen to your speeches but he is not loving me. We married in July 2017 then almost 7 months passed. I was pregnant then. But I got a misscarriage. Now my husband is abroad. So I'm living with my parents. My mother in law and sisters in laws are always making problems between me and my husband. So many times my husband told he is gonna divorce me. I don't know what to do. My sisters in laws are messing up everything. They don't like to see me and my husbands happiness. Because of that they are telling lies about me to my husband. Then he also trusting them and hurting me. What can I do?

Q: I have a friend who is passing a very hard time in her marriage. She got married by force of her family to a person who does not give her respect she deserves. I know in Islam, a wife should fulfil every need of her husband. But if the husband is not respecting his wife, he is using her only for his pleasure. My friend cries everyday because of physical and mental torture she bears by her husband. She has not yet started feeling love for her husband and when she asked him not to touch her now, he insists, then he forces her to have sexual relations with him.

My friend is going into deep depression day by day, and she can't even talk to anyone about it. She asked me if I know any dua that can prevent her husband to touch his wife. I said to her, in my belief there is no such dua that exists. But I feel feel sad for her thats why I am contacting a mufti to help me with a solution so that I can give her some relief.

Q: I asked my husband in our prospective meeting if we were going to live separately and he replied in the affirmative. At the time of Nikaah he told me we'll have to live together for 2 years so I can save. I reluctantly agreed. However in the first few months when problems started arising I asked him to move out and he kept assuring me that we will soon move out and things will get better.

Today it's over 3 years and we still haven't moved out. I cannot adjust to my mother in laws lifestyle at all. There's no timetable and she does everything at her own time and according to her comfortability. Also my Sister in laws keep coming many times during the week, on weekends and holidays. I don't seem to have my own space too. I'm entitled to one en suite bathroom and the room barely has any space. My son doesn't sleep in a cot as there's isn't enough room for one. He therefore sleeps with us in the bed. I'm having severe backache because I'm less mobile the whole night due to the tight space. Many a times my husband has to go to sleep in another room because of my back pain.

Last year when I asked him to move out he asked me to live together for two more years to which I clearly declined. (I don't know if I'm sinful about this) But now I feel I just can't cope with all this. My son is nearly two and he's still sleeping with me. I feel really frustrated and at times feel like terminating my marriage because I feel nothing is being done in support for me.

There's many issues too which I feel will get better if we move out. I've never been settled from day one and I feel I need to settle down for the betterment of our marriage. The fact that he keeps reassuring me that we're moving out and nothing is getting done physically really frustrates me and this causes me to have frequent arguments with him.

Q: My husband has 2 wives. I am his 1st wife with no kids. From the 2nd wife he has 2 kids. One passed away. After getting married to the 2nd wife, his behaviour changed toward me. He is very bad towards me and very good towards her. He scolds me for every small mistake and sometimes beats me if I oppose him or if I'm rude to him. One day I asked him why his behaviour to his 2nd wife is very good. He said that she is not understanding and patient like me. So if he hurts her then she will not let him meet his child. When I asked him that why is his behaviour bad with me. He said that many times he feels angry with his mother, sister, friends, relatives and 2nd wife. But he cant hurt them and he doesnt want to lose them by behaving bad. So he takes out all his anger and frustration on me because losing me is not a big deal since I cant give him children in future.

I cant tell to my parents and every body else is telling me to have patience. I am in depression. How can I explain to my husband that Allah is watching his actions? 

Q: My queston is related to wife not obeying her husband. We are married for more than 1 year. After my marriage, my wife don't like my mother she has problems with my mother daily and she creates some issue on it. I understand she is new to my family and needs time to adjust. She has made a negative image about my mother in her mind and she didn't see her positive side. I agree that sometime my mother is not right. I daily explain to my wife to please obey me and respect my mother.

My mother never asked her to cook food or to obey her. She doesn't interfere in my life but beacuse my wife has created a negative image about her she didn't like her. She always saysthat  aap stand nhi leta aap mujhe support nhi karta all that. I know my mothers nature. She is not like that, in every family few thing happen but my mother what she say she take it as negative. She always says that my mother is not understanding and that she is married. She needs to draw a line daily.

Now with grace of Allah she give birth to a beautiful baby girl. I thought things will change but it is going worst. My daughter is 21 days old and she doing the same thing. I don't want to leave my mother but I don't want to leave my wife and child. I try my best to explain to her through hadis and dua but she is not understanding. I try to explain to her what the Prophet says when your parents reach old age. Don't say anything to them and keep patience but she is not understanding because of that my health is impacting tension depression etc. I dont know what should I do If u ask me she is loosing my respect. She is not on my expectation, she is not obeying her husband. Please tell what should I do if u ask me I dont place for her in my heart I just ask her to respect my family she is not doing so daily we have fight I am tensed and in pressure please suggest me the positon solution in lighting of islam

Q: I am a 27 year old girl. I am marrid with 2 children. My husband is 35 years old. We have been married for 9 years, of which the first 8 years we were back and forth from eachother because he was in Pakistan and I was here. He has been here now for 1 and a half years approx. The 1st 6 months were great but this last year has been really hard for me. I dont know how to say this but he doesn't sexualy please me at all. he acts totally dead when u say anything. I really dont know what to do. I am doing sin because of him. What am I supposed to do?

Q: I have two wives. I want to be just between them as much as I can. But my first wife in hindering it by getting annoying. Time and again giving me reference of Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam)'s reaction of finding out the intention of Hazrat Ali to marry second time. Giving me reference again and again that you cannot be just between two wives. Asking me questions again and again why I married second time. Bringing the topic of second wife again and again. Asking me the same questions again and again for which i have answered. When i decline to answer and choose to keep quiet, so matters dont get out of hand, she does not tolerate that. The last incident again, i came home late from work tired. and after an hour or so. she said i want to ask a question, which i immediately sensed will lead to argument, so i said, if the question is baseless then should not ask. then she started giving arguments to which i chose to remain quiet and the end she said, you attitude with me makes me doubt you. At that i went to the other room and slept. I am trying my best to be fair as i can. But she infuriates me time and again, intentionally or unintentionally i do not know. What can I do to solve this.

Q: Me and my husband have been apart for 6 years. He has not supported me and our daughter. I have given him an ultimatum to choose before we got seperated because he was abusing me physically and emotionally and financially. He became violent and started to disrespect my family and me. The Imam of our town said the marriage can be claimed void due to the fact that we have not been in any contact for 6 years and also if we can find out if he converted back to his previous religion. Can you please tell me if it is possible because I want to move on with my life and the Imam is dragging the whole process.

Q: My husband has been having a sexual relationship with my sister for the past 6 months. When I found out about it, I left him but he did not divorce me yet. So my question is am I still in his nikaah after he had a sexual relationship with my sister and that has been confirmed? I am so confused and I dont want to live with him anymore.

Q: I am 27 years old. We are married nearly 2 and half years now. I am struggling to conceive due to imbalance of hormones and irregular periods. My husband has higher desire of sex compare to myself. I am trying my level best to meet up to his requirements but he is not happy and believing that I disobey him. I know and accept in Islam that a wife must show up when her husband calls her to bed otherwise she is sinful. He gets angry and frustrated with me and tells me that I should change my religion because I refuse him in bed. It is really quite worrying my life, I see no fault of myself if naturally I have less desire compared to him. But I am being scolded most of the time. My question is that what should I do in this case? Am I still sinful? How should we behave in this aspect? How should my husband treat me as I am naturally less desiring and most of the time I am meeting his requirement. I can say 90% of the time I do meet his desires.