Doubts on hurmat-e-musaaharah

Q: I usually get thoughts on hurmate mushahara, like when I shake my dads hand, I am scared and worried. I don't have lust but I get thoughts that suppose it is lust. My father in law is old, about 60 something and Aalim. Now he was lying down in the room and I was in the other room. It was open so I could see who was sleeping. Now I get these thoughts about lust. So my father in law was sleeping and I went to pray namaz. I was just looking at his private parts, it was not open, he had on kafni n izhaar so I couldnt see his private part and the room was kinda dark and I was a distance away. Now I didn't have any desire but I just get these thoughts about lust. I was just looking at the private part area but father in law had on his pants. So after I saw something like a penis, I was thinking that his private part was out when he was sleeping or was it a material. I saw not sure but my heart was thinking that it was not his penis showing. I just get these thoughts and I don't want them. I have no lust feeling for my father in law and I didn't look with lust. I just looked because I wanted to see if I get these thoughts. Is my nikaah valid or will hurmate mushahara apply? 

Registering a child on the mother's name

Q: I am a second wife currently pregnant and my husband and his parents are emotionally and verbally abusing me. His first marriage is in community of property leaving all of his assets to his first wife while mine was just a nikaah and he has only provided a house for me. He has always falsely accused me of being unfaithful when I gave him no reason to believe so. He says that the child I'm carrying is not his. I am very hurt and I have left my home and don't want to go back to him. Can I register my child using my surname because of the situation that I'm in? He has also told me that he will be selling my house. He left nothing for me and our unborn child while his first family lives a cosy lavish life. Please advise me.

Having intimacy with one's wife while she is menstruating

Q: This is a general question but necessary all the time for those who are living abroad without their family. After long period (over 6 months). I am going for a short vacation to my home country for 5 days. During this 5 days, if my wife gets her menses, what do I need to do? Is it haram to get intimate with my wife or is it exempted, because i will not have another chance for several months thereafter.