Nikaah of the girl without her permission

Q: I have a question about the validity of Nikah. I loved a guy and my sister and dad found out about it, without allowing me to tell them anything and express my feelings they got me engaged to my cousin without my permission but I don't really understand what sort of nikah it was because they never asked me but I still love the person I am involved with and I want to get married to him because I know he is the right guy for me. If I get married without the consent of my parents, will my nikah with that person be valid? Please I need the answer as soon as possible, and also if I want to run away from the house and come back afterwards when everything gets back to normal, just need to know if my nikaah will be valid and accepted in Islam?

Showing remorse after committing zina

Q: I have commited zina with a married women with mutual consent despite knowing that it is one of the biggest sins a Muslim can commit. After doing so, the feeling of committing such a grave sin made me feel extremely worried and ashamed. On my way back to home, I kept asking for forgiveness from Allah (Ta'ala) and promised Allah as well as myself that I am not going to do it again. Now, I am still feeling ashamed and I have communicated my situation to the woman I committed the sin with. She is telling me about her feeling the same but forcing me to meet her for the last time just to talk. She is begging me to meet her and promising that she won't come near me and we can meet at a public place but I just don't want to meet her and want to end everything. I tried to tell her about repentance and about the sin we just committed. She is threatening that she won't eat anything and can commit suicide as well due to the feeling of sin. I tried to tell her about the punishment of suicide and everything but she didn't listen. I became so afraid and panicked that I blocked her from everywhere she can contact me. Now I am not in touch with her in any way. Now, I have to ask two questions.

1. I am very ashamed of what I did and feeling very guilty. I have repented with a true heart. But naturally, I am unable to cry and feel very emotional about it. All I can feel is that I have done wrong and don't want to do it again for the sake of Allah but I am unable to ask for forgiveness by crying hard in front of Allah. Even if i want to cry, I couldn't. What should I do for that?

2. If that woman commits suicide behind what happened, is there any responsibility on my shoulder as well? Because whatever happened, I was involved in it and her suicide would be due to me. Would I be accountable for her suicide? If she commits suicide without repentance and asking forgiveness from Allah, would my repentance be accepted?