Advice

Q: My daughter got a marriage proposal from a boy. My daughter is doing 3rd year aalima course at a local madressa and will complete end 2017. This proposal now came and she said she can only marry after completing her aalima studies in 2017. Due to pressure from boys side to marry earlier and after speaking to her family and friends. She gave in and accepted the proposal on condition that she could complete her 3rd year studies which ends in December 2015. Now a problem arose and the boys side are pressurising her to marry in 3 weeks time and they said she has to obey as its haraam if she doesn't marry immediately. We, the girls parents, family are siding with her to marry end 2015 when her madressa closes. What do we do in this situation. She is not mentally ready to marry now as she only intended marrying after completing aalima course in 2017. So now the proposal came and after excepting she will marry end 2015 the boys side wants to marry in three weeks time. They say its not permissible to wait till end of 2015. Please advise as we are in a dilemma.

Q: I married in 2000, having son and daughters. I love my life and wife but before two months I checked her email and found that she is in relationship with another person. She said that it was just attachment not love and she applogised. I forgave her but two days before I again found that she is still in relation with the same person and now she swore on quran that she will never meet and call him. She said that he gave gifts to her in this 1.75 years relationship and he wants to take take them back from her, therefore she talked with him now. But now on quran she said that she do not want him, she only want to live with me and my childrens. I am completely broken now and confused what to do? I therefore ask you to help me.

Q: I want to ask the most important question of my life. Please answer me. I am married since 12 years. I have three daughters. My husband is nice, takes care of me and our girls but he has just one very bad habit; he talks to other women on the net and phone and he talks real bad things and these ladies I don't understand want kind of women they are. I don't know if he has any physical relations too or not. It's very painful. I have tried every thing. He himself says that there is nothing missing in me but he just can't leave this habit and he don't want to leave it too. What should I do? Should I stay in this marriage as I have 3 daughters who need their father or should I leave? I personally don't want to end my marriage but its not easy to tolerate all this what should I do?

Q: I am very tensed due to a few circumstances in the home now. When I was married my husband was earning and all his income went on my sister in-law's high fee, their dresses and other stuff and my mother in-law kept all his money saved. For full four years my husband gave me nothing and we saved nothing and then my son began to go to school and and then the other expenditures started along with the birth of second child. My husband's other brothers they also started working and what they earned they saved and now they have enough money. My mother in-law has enough money to spend on herself, but my husband who gave all what he has to his family is now hand to mouth. I always believe that virtue comes back to its doer but this happened not in my case. My in-laws are against me because they are not enjoying my husbands money because of our own expenditures. I am tensed because I have to do a job to bear the expenditures and my husband is tensed that we have saved nothing and his support is never regarded in the family. The only thing which my dewar did is to get a ups for the whole family and my saas tell this to all eveytime every day and my husband who used to keep all the money in his mom's hand, she has said nothing in her favour. Before my dewar's wedding I was the only target of my saas, she used to scold me but after wedding she had seen the new bahu's behaviour. She is a bit changed towards me but why I suffered so harsh for 10 years? Why was I unfortunate enough to bear and face all that?

Q: Is it permissible to learn Modern Standard Arabic (MSA) from a non-Muslim?

Q: I have a relative whose husband to be proposed to her and is planning to leave S.A to study deen in Saudi Arabia. Is it advisable for him to leave everything behind? The boy is very much interested in the girl and wants to make nikaah but he says the best way to get full benefit of deen is from Saudi Arabia to study there. His mind is set on leaving but the girl is trying to show him how it won't be a good idea. (e.g. Salafis, method of obtaining deeni ilm) Please do advise.

Q: My Husband is impotent and his behaviour is very bad with me. Actually this is his second marriage and he is psycho also. I want khula please help me mufti sahab, he always teases me, shouts and scolds me. I even can't talk with my parents. We are separate for the last three years and I will not go back. Please help me.

Q: When conducting Taleem at home, I recite tasmiya before starting to read from Fazaail-e-Amaal. My father gets very angry and shouts at me saying that I must ta'wuz along with the tasmiya. I explained to him that ta'wuz is to be recited before recitation of the Qur'an, yet he is not satisfied with this. In all the bayaans and kitaab-readings I have attended, I have never heard anyone recite ta'wuz along with tasmiya. Hence, I do not do so. But my father, who is a faasiq, tells me: "Is it not better to recite Ta'wuz? Why do you not like doing it?" Anyhow, with the incorrect behaviour of my father aside:

1. Is my father correct?

2. With the exception of reciting the Qur'an Shareef or when faced with some Shaytaani thought/confrontation, what occasions warrant the recitation of ta'wuz?

3. Why is ta'wuz not recited before a bayaan or a kitaab reading?

4. Is it "better" and "more rewarding" to recite ta'wuz before a bayaan or kitaab reading etc.?

5. Is it necessary to recite tasmiya and/or ta'wuz before reciting Ahadith?

Q: My husband is involved in many bad activities, takes so much interest in other women and porn but with me he is too rude and disrespectful. He always makes me feel down, as I'm such a useless thing and he is allergic to me. He doesn't want to see me, talk to me or have sex with me. His all desires are just for outside. It's too hard life for me. I'm living in great pain in every moment of my life due to his behaviour and activities and when I'm so much depressed and say something to him or about him, it will cause punishment for me in akhirah. I don't know what to do. I feel like my both worlds (dunya and akhirah) are hell due to this man. Please advise me some solution in the light of Islam so that I can live a happy life here and can enter in Jannah in akhirah.

Q: I'm a 24 year old student, doing my masters in communication engineering. My problem is that I try my best to avoid all types of sins, but despite all my efforts to stop evil things I can't stop myself from masturbating. My desire is so high that I can't control it and I've no way to stop myself from doing this bad thing. Kindly tell me how to stop this bad habit and control my desire. I pray regularly and try all to do good things, but this is the thing that makes me feel very ashamed of myself and disregard. My health is suffering badly. I'm very upset. Kindly help me in this regard and guide me.