Advice

Q: I am a mother to a 21 year old daughter who is a chef by profession and works away from home. She has met a gentleman who is older than her (she is 21) he is in his 30's. He is from the Christian faith (coloured) and wants to marry her with intention of converting to Islam. They have being dating now for a year. He appears to be respectful, and mature and is apparently the owner of an electrical business, however they both work together at the same resort.

She has introduced him to some Islamic ways already and has offered him an English/Arabic Quraan to learn more about Islam. Not much has being discussed with me as her mother, but I fear that they are living together and making their own plans.

I raised this girl by myself as her dad passed away when she was 6 years old. When she was 10 I remarried and had a second daughter, but she was part of all of this. She grew up being very shy and too scared to do things on her own. Mum had to be always there to help.

I am not happy with this relationship. I am not sure if he is being honest. He has offered her his credit card to use at liberty, his car to drive at liberty (BMW), and takes her to a building site where he apparently is building a house for her and his mum. She is currently allowed to help with all the building decisions.

I did not raise my child with no values and beliefs. I am saddened by her choice. She believes that this is her soul mate. Please advice me as to what route to take and how to manage the situation.

Q: Alhamdulilah, I am happily married, however I require clarification over a matter.

I work from 8 - 5 and my wife teaches hifz in the morning and madrasah in the afternoon. She is occupied and very busy the entire day. I have no problem with her busy day and am happy to let her serve the deen of Allah Ta'ala.

However during the evenings she does not provide me with her full attention but is still busy dealing with other work. She gives off the impression that her work is more important than me and often compares myself to her.

Am I correct in telling that her I am her primary responsibility and take preference over everything else?

Q: Is it wrong for a wife to keep a simple smartphone when she doesn't take photos or have any social media accounts such Instagram or Snapchat etc.? Also, just to have the most basic plan on that phone so she can just communicate with her family and female friends?

Q: If a non Muslim asks us how can we just marry someone we don't know, like without speaking to the person or only seeing them once and then deciding that's the person you want to spend your life with, whats a good answer to give?

Q: I have been feeling very low on imaan lately. I have been praying for something very specific for the last 3 years but it is not getting fulfilled. No doubt Allah knows best and has the best for us in store but one question that keeps me anxious all day is that, what have I done to earn the annoyance of Allah and not even get one namaz, surah or even a sujood accepted that I have been praying for that purpose. 

Q: Can we shift our house to a street were there is a temple?

Q: I received this message and wanted to comment back to help him correct what needs to be corrected, but I wanted some guidance on how to respond.

"True... But Muslim social norms today mean women do not interact with men therefore they do not know whom they want to marry... In the time of the Prophet and Sahabi there was much more interaction. Indeed women would pray behind men. Therefore women knew who they were marrying... We have messed up the system. In our system (not Islamic. Just ultra conservative) women are forced to marry who their parents want them to... Those marriages are technically nil and void. Woman can walk away and say I'm technically not married. Furthermore we have created huge stigma on divorce... even though this was recorded and documented all the way back to Ismail A.S. it should be so easy for a divorcee to get re married but our messed up system rejects them unfortunately... Sad"

Q: What is the reason if we desperately pray a lot for a job or something else and when we finally get it, its bad/unenjoyable? Do we have to think that maybe this happened because Allah is testing us? Or are we being punished?

Can you help me figure out how to perceive Allah when I’m struggling? Like if I’m praying for a job opportunity, or something else, and nothing is going my way?

I know I have to remember that Allah is the Provider of Rizq and that He always wants the best for us. But what if I don’t know if what I’m receiving (rejections/sadness) is due to a trial or if its a punishment?

Q: My parents are separated. My dad keeps insisting that I go to this party at his house with his family but I dont want to. He still insists. My mum doesn't want me going to his house anyway. Am I allowed to decline?

Q: How can one obtain the blessing of firasah?