Advice

Q: I had an overreacted argument with husband via text of which I called him an idiot. He said he hated me. After a few more words out of anger I said “i want a divorce”...my anger lasted a few hours. Of which I told his sister that me and her brother will seperate and I want my gold packed up (as I was in my mothers house). I have never been this angry with him in my 2.5 years of marriage, Shaitan took over. Ofcourse I had regretted and asked for his forgiveness many many times. I had some issues with the inlaws and that all built up in that moment of anger and I had flung it on him. I have repented!

Will I not smell the fragrance of Heaven? Now the tables have turned and he has divorced me (1 talaq) after begging him but he refuses. As I had said about my marriage to one of his cousins. He says that i am a liar, and wont believe how i had felt at his house. I dont want to be accountable to Allah swt and i also think that this is a petty divorce.

Q: My parents have been divorced. My father who is a foreigner lives alone. He is verbally and emotionally abusive to myself and siblings. I want to maintain good relations with him however each time I would try to engage with him he would react abusively by saying nasty things about my family members and by cursing myself and family members. (Cursing my mother, brother, sister, husband, etc.). What should I do? Is there any Amal I could do in particular to help this situation?

Q: The reason for my email is that I am struggling to find myself on a religious level and would like to know more about Islam. I grew up in a very strict Christian home and most of my life I have only been exposed to how Christian people should live and it’s very difficult for me as my views about a lot of things regarding religion has changed since I went to University. It’s not that I don’t believe in anything, it’s just that I’m very confused as to what to follow. In the past three years, since I left home to study at Stellenbosch University, I have been exposed more to the Muslim religion and ever since then i started questioning my Christian ways, but I’m to scared to tell my parents about how i feel because I’m afraid that they won’t understand where i come from and I’m also scared of disappointing them. So i ask you if you can, will you please help me to understand your religion better just to help me find myself?

Q: I need to know how to help my husband to stop being sarcastic and rude to everybody (his family, my family, close friends, my kids and I). His family even complains to me about how rude he is. I really don't know what to do anymore because it is affecting the way my son speaks as well. Do I take him to a therapist, Moulana?

PS: He doesn't see anything wrong with himself

Q: My husband has a son from his 1st marriage, he is 17. When we got married we used to see him at the weekends but then that stopped as it all went to court. Over the last year he made contact with my husband and they see each other every few weeks. Now his son wants to move in with us. I don't have an issue if he comes to visit but I am not comfortable with him moving in as I have a daughter from my previous marriage. She has not reached puberty yet but is 12 and will do soon.

My husband is adamant that he moves in with us. I want to know where I stand Islamically in this. My husband moved in with me into my property which I owned before I married him. My husband does own a property but his father and brother reside there.

Q:

1. I have an e-cigarette. It is like an alterative to a cigrette and I've got lots of different types and spent alot of money on them but I want to stop it completely. Should I throw them away and go against my nafs?

2. I am a younster with hormones and I used to make accounts to watch naked women perform acts. Each time I had the urge I'd make a new account. Should I leave the accounts and ask for forgiveness and not go back to the accounts even if the accounts are there and not getting used? Will I be sinful everyday if the accounts are not there because I don't know how to delete them.

Q: Since my childhood I have been a high achiever and a very enthusiastic person but it has been very recent for about a year and a half post my graduation I feel hopelessness and lack of motivation to do anything. Never have I ever been proud or looking down upon others. But somehow I have ended here, I try but fail at accomplishing anything I start, moreover its the mocking and taunting from everyone around who expect me to achieve something especially after being so good at my studies all this time. I dont know why I'm failing at life at everything. Its consuming me. Please help me get rid of this depressed state of mind.

Q: One of my friends has a very serious issue at home. His mother is having a relationship with a man for the last 10 years. She is still married to my friends father. The whole family knows about the mothers relationship with this man, even her husband knows. My friend tried talking to his family but no one wants to resolve this matter. He is very worried and his mother is still having a relationship with this man. He took all possible steps to resolve the issue but nothing happened. Kindly explain what he should do now? Can he break all relations with his mother and leave all of them?

Q: I have a best friend who is a Shia and I am a Sunni though I’ve always been told by others not to trust Shias. A couple of months ago this boy I know started being very Islamophobic to me saying Islam is a cult and that I hate Jews which I do not and he called me a terrorist and some stuff about Isis etc. He has not once apologised and he is a kaafir. Recently I’ve had to find out from my peers that my best friend who is a Shia has been dating this same boy secretly whilst knowing what he’s done to me. She has touched a male before but not intercourse with a male, she then lied to me, multiple times and ignored me when she admitted that she has been dating this guy. I then out of anger said some horrible things and told others, whilst she has not apologised what should I do? Islamically what advice would you give me?

Q: I am a 24 year old unmarried woman living with my parents and siblings. I am having health problems and weight problems. Some of my health problems are schizophrenia and infection. I learned that water fasting is a way of curing these problems as they are deemed to be incurable by mainstream doctors so i have no option but to do it as I can do it and I have done it before and I want to obey the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) because he told us to strive for what benefits us and not to be lazy or incapable.

So my question is should I go ahead and obey the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) and do what will benefit me or obey my parents and continue suffering.

What scares them when I want to do the water fasting is the fact that I will not be eating anything but water for 30-40 days and they are afraid that i will die when I do it. It has been scientifically proven that the human body can survive for forty days on water without food and there are many people all over the world that have done it and are still doing it and they are gaining benefits from it even curing cancer with it. My mental health problem of schizophrenia can be cured permanently with it because there is a man named Dr. Nikolayev who cures his patients with mental disorders with prolonged water fasting. During the water fast, the body thrives off its reserves and this can last for forty days (please you can google more about water fasting and its benefits and water fasting for schizophrenia).

I have explained it to them and I have tried my best to convince them. I even told them that there are health centres where people go for water fasting retreats to cure their diseases like the TrueNorth Health Center in America and another one in Germany and many others all over the world.

Should I go ahead and do it as the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) wants us to do what will benefit us or should I obey my parents and live with this incurable diseases?