Rights of servants

Q: I always have behaved badly with my mother. It is from my childhood. Now I know it is a grave sin but after doing tawba so many times I cannot change myself. I always have negative thoughts about her instead of her favours to me. I always think about the bad side about her and disrespect comes in my mind for her. I have tried but cannot get rid of it. I know she has many faults in her for which I disrespect her in my mind but this is a grave sin. How do I get rid of these thoughts and treat her with utmost respect?

Q: How do I balance between ibadah and everyday life? When my sisters come they complain that I don't give much time to them.. I also feel it difficult to go to someone else's home and fulfill my regular amal as it takes so much time..I also fear after marriage I will not be able to continue these aamaal as there will be so much responsibilities.. so what should I do?

Q: I'm a 26 year old Hifz Student that studies in a Madressa. I would like to know if I can assist my parents and brothers in helping them move into a house that they bought on interest.

Alhamdulillah, I will not be living with them due to it being a house that was bought on interest, however they are asking me to help them and carry things into that house.

Can I help them? If I say no, they will be like what kind of son are you that can't help his own parents to move.

Q: I am a lecturer. My sister couldn't qualify her studies. Her issue is anger. This makes her life difficult. She is unmarried and 37 years old. She considers me to be responsible for her studies and marriage. She didn't allow me to get married. She broke things and hit me and abuses me. My mother is old and she cries when this happens. What should I do?

Q: My mother has slept with a man 3 years ago. She is now living with him while I am living with my father. Recently she has performed nikkah with the man saying that she has been divorced, but my father was unaware about this. \

1. Should I tell my father about this?

2. I dont want to contact my mother from now on so am I doing the right thing? By doing this will Allah be angry with me?

Q: A person has possession of some of my belongings. I have brought it to his attention but he denies it completely. I am 100% sure he has it. Will it be permissible for me to enter his premises without his permission and take my belongings away and thereafter let him know that I have taken my items away. Will this entering of his premises be regarded as tresspassing in Islam and will it be infringing on his privacy?

Q: I belong to a very poor family, because my father sold all of his land, house, goods, etc. because he is addicted of all kinds of intoxications including women. Now he is stealing from people.

A few years back, my mama started working as a maid servant to bring us up. Now I am grown up and I cannot bear these things any more. I beat up my father when he steals something but he never stops.

I kicked him out from my house because I cannot explain what it is to live with my father. Will Allah forgive me? I do not want to do this but I am tired and can't bear this anymore.

Q: I have a mother who is mentally ill. I live with her and our family. My mother gives me a lot of bad duas, she makes dua to Allah that He destroys me, that I live the life of a dog, that I suffer and suffer and end up living worse than anyone. She keeps giving me bad duas everyday. She calls me evil and insults me.

I usually dont say much to her, but sometimes my 8 year old brother hits me with toys, sometimes I will tell him off, and once I hit him back (I know I shouldnt, but he wouldnt stop and he's a big boy). She tells me I'm evil and that Allah will destroy me.

I am very concerned that I end up suffering even more in life. I know the status of a mother, but I havent done anything bad to my mother. Will Allah accept these duas? I am very worried. My dad prays good duas for me.

Q: I want to ask about my brother. He is very disobedient and extremely cruel to our parents. If we part ways until he dies, is that ok?

Q: I am a 20 year old girl living in a western country since birth. I come from a very strict cultural family from Pakistan who are very conservative in their mindset and often mix culture with Islam. Nevertheless I want to state that I do respect my parents despite our clashing mindsets. Since the last few years my father especially gets extremely angry, shouting and saying horrible irrational things about my character, threatening to pull me out of Uni etc. over ridiculously minute things such as me wearing a bit of makeup or wearing jeans etc. He uses the excuse of Islam and constantly tells me I am a terrible muslim and a disgrace because I don't have that outward image of a "perfect muslim girl" despite me knowing in my heart that I try my best to be a good muslim in my own way-I do my best to pray 5 times a day, be a good, kind person and am slowly building up my islamic knowledge.

While I understand that wearing hijab and modest clothing is fardh in islam and that it may be one of my weaknesses (and everyone has their own weaknesses), I do not dress outrageously bad (eg. show too much skin or wear anything too tight) or any different to that of most muslim women in our western society, even those who wear hijab. I know my own limits and islamically for them to force it upon me to dress like women do in my father's village is unrealistic and incorrect.

I don't mean to say i'm an amazing muslim and he is a horrible one or a horrible parent but the mentality he was raised with does not allow him to see beyond his own beliefs. For him not wearing makeup, wearing hijab and long, loose clothing, but NOT praying or reading Quran or having internal faith, is better than me doing my best to practise and be a good person but not have that "ideal" outward appearance ie. he cares more about following the norms of the society he was brought up in but uses religion as an excuse. He doesn't even attempt to understand that I have grown up in a western society, (even though he's the one who brought us here) that my thinking is more open and that he cannot compare me to women living in his village, it is just completely unrealistic.

I know how important respecting and obeying your parents is in Islam and even though my parents think I try to "hurt them" on purpose by doing these things which make them angry, I know in my heart I do not and how much it hurts me that they do not understand things from my point of view. I cannot help but react negatively at times when such arguments and incidents happen as I too feel suffocated but at the same time feel guilty as I don't know how I can live my life and please my parents without being their little puppet and doing everything as per their terms because ultimately I am an adult and I will answer to Allah myself.

I feel extremely stuck and need the opinion of someone with more islamic knowledge than me. I just want to practise my religion in my own way and at my own pace but don't want to hurt my parents either or make them feel like I have betrayed them/ disrespect them.