Rights of parents

Giving preference to one's cat over one's mother

Q: There is a dispute between my mother and I regarding the cat which I keep in my house. My mother wants me to remove the cat from the house, whereas I want to keep the cat, and this causes us to fight.

I live separately with my wife and I am not even living with my mother, yet she has made a huge fuss for me to remove the cat from the house and I am not willing to do that.

Please guide me as to what I should do? We have extreme love for cats, but now my mother seldom visits our home and only comes perhaps twice a month.

Mother speaking ill of her daughter to others

Q: I have been living with my pensioner mother since I got married as I am the only child. We currently live in the same complex as my in laws and they are very accommodating of my mother and treat her kindly. I had a previous incident where my nanny left because my mother was talking ill about my husband, myself and my in laws. Bitter complaints and bringing me down. This isn't the first time. She has been complaining and bringing my husband down to many others. To the point where she makes herself seem like a victim and they actually despise me as she paints me out to be so nasty and cruel.

I have spoken to her on many occasions regarding this. She agrees not to do it and then a few months later I find out that she's talking about me, my husband or my in laws. She even complained to my mother in law about me continuously.

I have recently found out, once again that my helper (who also works for my in laws) wants to leave as my mother is talking about me, my husband and in laws behind our backs.

How do I defend my mother in a situation like this? My in laws know as the helper had to tell my mother in law to take her back full time as she works part time for me. I am at my wits end. I am so angry, hurt and frustrated. I cannot respect her. I want to know Islamically what is my duty regarding my mother and what rights do I have? I am so tired of her being manipulative and emotionally toxic. I am considering putting her into a retirement/old age home. It is as if she wants to intentionally ruin or cause drama in my marriage and between my in laws and I.

I need some advice as to how to handle this situation as my in laws are telling me to leave her and just continue as normal. I can't! I am so fedup of her causing unnecessary drama.

Holding a grudge against one's father

Q: I am a 36 year old divorced woman living at my parents' place. I have some past grudges and current complaints against my father, I consider him responsible for most of my misfortunes; but since he is my father, I need to be respectful, but the problem is I get out of my control as soon as I happen to see him or even worse, if he speaks to me or wants me to do something for him. All my distress comes back and my injuries get fresh again. This is why I try to avoid him but most of the time this is not possible since we are living in the same house, though I keep quiet in front of him, but as soon as he is gone, I start shouting, cring, beating myself and cursing him and using abusive language about him. I don't do this intentionally but it just happens and I cannot do anything about it. I am extremely stressed and emotionally disturbed due to this. It's happening for more than five years.

Kindly suggest some remedy.