Respecting one's abusive father

Q: I have a father, he is a worst creature I have ever seen in my life unfortunately. He always abuses us, my mother, his own mother while talking to us almost 7/10 times. He never spends a single penny on us apart from studies.

I am 25 years old and I have seen the emotional torture for the last 25 years. He used to beat our mother, I wish with a dare, I answer his nonsense infront of 10 people, but my mother stops me always saying that he is my father. She actually covers his psycho behaviour.

Some time from now I will get married and I dont want my wife to see such evil stuff, and my children as well (in shaa Allah).

Whenever I think of taking some legal and respectful action against him, to settle down things for atleast me, I am being stopped by my mother in the name of Islam. I want to know my Islamic right, how can I save myself from emotional torture?

We did a medical test for his brain (MRI), it came fine perfectly, the doctor says he has now multiple personality disorder, but I don't agree, since he has been the same person from day 1.

I want go away from him to save myself, and in shaa Allah my future family. Can I do this in Islam, because I am always being stopped in the name of Islam.

A: On account of the great rights your father has over you, it is not permissible for you to ill-treat him or to be rude in your approach when dealing with him. Continue to show him good character, mahabbat (love) and respect and overlook his weaknesses and faults, perhaps this will be a means for him changing his conduct and behaviour when dealing with you and your family. After salaah, beg Allah Ta'ala to guide him to the straight path and bless him with all goodness.

And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

 

Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)