Rights of parents

Q: How does one deal with ones mother who has chosen to marry for the 4th time?

Being married, my husband and myself are constantly fighting because he is disgraced that my mother has taken another husband (the man is a sheikh). My husband worries that because my mother has not received blessing from her children or her mother, therefore she is doomed to fail in her marriage. Is it correct to feel anger towards ones mother and is it correct of my husband to show any disrespect to her if he does not agree with her choice? I feel as if I have to choose between my husband and my mother?

Q: Do daughters have any obligation in taking care of their parents physically and or financially after they get married and start staying with their husbands? Particularly in the case if the son is poor and can hardly manage and if the daughters are financially well off and living an extravagant lifestyle.

Q: I have a care taker working for me in my home helping me to look after my old mother. Recently she told me that legally she is unable to work in this country. I was unaware of this and I am worried for my mother as she needs the care. Should I end the care takers employment or can I give her a gift rather than wages and keep her on? My two brothers are paying me for the care taker and they said that they are responsible for her payment. If I can give her a gift then how do I calculate the amount I pay her?

Q: I have an issue which is causing me a lot of distress and sadness. I recently have got in touch with my biological father who I have not known for 25 years because my step father has been trying to stop me from finding out about my real dad. Now I speak to my father regularly on the phone as he lives abroad. However my step mother tells my real dad to cut the calls of early, she tries to keep him away from me and does not want me to have a relationship with. As she does not have any of her own children and is feeling insecure. I do understand this but I feel stressed because I feel she is going to take my dad away from me. I have voiced my concerns to my dad but he has assurred me that she is not going to be a problem. She even told me 4 times to not focus on my dad and that I should focus on my stepfather. I just dont know what to do and I feel my emotions get the better of me. I try to make an effort with her but she wants to keep my dad away. My step father does not want anything to do with me if I see my real dad. I'm confused why should I have to satisfy my step parents. I want a relationship with my dad. Am I not allowed that. How do I deal with this? I just want to get to know my dad without them causing problems.

Q: I am a 32 year old unmarried Muslim girl living with my parents. My mother recently told me that my father wants to adopt a son so that there is someone to look after him when he gets old. She says that they think if I ever get married my husband wont allow me to look after them in their old age.

This comment really hurt me because I try very hard to be a good and dutifull daughter and I do my best to help them with their work as much as possible. I have been crying ever since I heard this and I cant stop crying - I cant help the fact that I am not a boy and my father would have preferred a son.

My question is, will there be any reckoning in the hereafter for my parents making such comments? I know that Islam emphasises the importance of parents but what does it say about how parents should act towards their children, even if they are daughters? Will Allah ever question them for saying such things?

Q: I am passing through a bad phase in life. My mother shows favoratisam between her children. She always hates so in return I disobey her. She prefers my brothers, what should I do in these circumstances? I want to commit suicide. She looks down upon me and teases me. I am an aalima and 25 years old. I feel a block on my heart when I disobey her but what can I do? Am I a sinner? How can I obey her?

Q: I try my best to pray salaah 5 times, stay away from sins, tell others about it but because of one thing I am really depressed. Because of this I am not able to concentrate in salaah, etc. At present, I keep a very little beard. I want to keep a long beard as we know in Islam it is mandatory to keep the beard and not to cut it. My parents live in Saudi Arabia and I am studying in India. My parents, especially my father don't want me to keep a beard in india because he is worried that after the new govt came in power, the Muslims are being attacked and put to death. There have been cases of this also. So he keeps shouting and telling me not to keep it there and when I come back to Saudi or a Muslim country then I can keep it. I keep thinking about this and I get headaches. I am not able to concentrate in salaah and I don't live a happy life just because of this issue... I tried explaining to them in a nice way but it dosent work. What should I do?

Q: I have lived a care free life. Taking everything for granted. I am 27 now. My parents are old now. I want to serve them as the best son in the whole but I have no clue what to do for a living and supporting them financially. Please pray for me and tell me a wazifa that Allah's helps descends on me.

Q:

1. Please advise on the following matter.

A person was looked after by their grandmother from birth to until their grandmother died.At the age of 13 the person learnt that their mother did not want them at birth.The mother in the meantime married a Tamil man who after some time became muslim.The mother had another child and chose to look after the second child and felt uncomfortable around the first child.As time went on still staying with the second child who married a Christian lady and chose to be Christian the mother still stayed with child number 2. Many years after child number 1 married and migrate overseas due to being unemployed. Child number 1 benefited because the mother was working and had her house.As time went by child number 2 managed to transfer the house onto their name and now when the mother is old does not want to look after her.The mother on the other hand refuses to stay anywhere else as she has devoted her whole life to child number

2. What is the obligation of child number 1 as they reside overseas. Inshallah please advise on this important matter.

Q: My son spent the weekend with us. When he was leaving, he was was rushing so I asked him if he was rushing for an appointment. He said he is taking his wife to the gynae. I asked if she was expecting and he replied No. That night he phoned to say that his daughter wanted to speak to me. Excitedly, she told me that her mummy was having another baby. I phoned my son the next day to ask him if his wife was expecting. To my surprise, he got upset and told me to stop probing. I told him that I am his mother and I will only make dua for him. He spoke to me very harshly and began arguing with me saying that by me asking him questions, his wife is having issues with him. His wife is a very controlling person and my son cannot do anything without her permission.I told my son that I will forward this issue to a mufti as he feels he is right and I am wrong . Kindly give me a solution as to what to do. I am really grieved at my son’s behavior. Jazaka Allah