marital problems

Q: Please may I request your assistance in three questions that I have bases on my scenario? I am a 48 years old revert to Islam. With my initial acceptance of Islam I was overwhelmed with the beauty of this dean of Allah. I accepted it with full heart soul and immediately adopted a life of only Islam and the way of life of our beloved Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) of almighty Allah. At that point, 12 years back, I was a very popular figure in our community, I had a very successful business, and I enjoyed love, respect and support from my family and lived a comfortable life in a fairly large house. I still remember that the only thing missing in my life was a humble, pious and obedient wife. Needless to say that is a very difficult gift to obtain. Since embracing Islam and changing my views on how to do business and how to please my Allah I have lost almost all my family, I don’t have any friends, and because of a partnership dispute I now have no business and live I a small home, but Alhamdulillah I am content with what Allah has given me. I am married with one daughter of 6 years but I am very unhappy in my life. I feel that Allah has put me through so many tests that my Mufti here once told me I am a sabr champion (on alight note). I just can’t find common ground with my wife to build a good relationship with her and I know she is not happy with our nikaah at the moment. I can’t see talaaq as an option as I love my wife and daughter very much and can’t see myself living without them but at the same time we are not happy and fight all the time. I have tried many options and sacrifices but nothing seems to help. My 3 questions are as follows:

1. Is it permissible to ask Allah in dua to take your life as you feel you can’t carry on living in unhappiness and not having the ability to make your spouse happy?

2. Is it permissible to take your own life in fear that you might run out of sabr and lose your Imaan?

3. Is it permissible to go in Jihad not just for the pleasure of Allah but also hoping to lose your life because of your unhappiness?

Q: Please send a dua or waazifa to read. My brother in-laws son wants to come stay with us and I don't think it is right when I have a young girl of 13 years in the house and he is 17 years old. I also feel that I will have no privacy as I am full time in scarf. My husband and in-laws feel I am selfish. I don't want to hurt anyone but Islamically I don't think it is right he is not my son. Please help to read something that he can understand and agree to stay somewhere else or travel daily to his parents than staying in my house.

Q: If a wife is disobedient to her husband in any case of deen/dunia, what should the do? Take action or to be patient (sabar) for Allah Ta'ala?

Q: I am in great trouble and need sharia based solution. My husband is having sexual relationship with male guys and has been in this practice since puberty. I came to know when I got married to him. Another problem is that he wants me to be a part of his game and join his friends in this venture. I tried to get divorce but he says he will keep my children. I cannot leave my children with him cause he will destroy them. I am doing a job as he does not want to spend money on children's education. I have taken this responsibility but now as I want my children to join my school as it is a well known he is not allowing them and creating all the barrier to keep them not getting admission there. My only purpose in life is to provide quality future to my children so they may not become the victim for such a man and stand on their own feet.

Q: I found out that my husband is having an affair with a 21 year old muslim girl. He has confessed that he does love her. So I read istikara to ask for guidance. My first dream was I was at my mums house and all of my bags were packed but I am busy helping my mum to make sweetmeats. My second dream was I was at the mall but I was having intercourse with my husband. I am very confused so I am not sure what this means.

Q: I want to ask a question about my marriage. I got married when I was 18 to a guy who was 28 at that time. Then we lived together for 7 days because I was a student. So I came back in dubai and he went back to Canada. He never came back from Canada now. It's been 6 years I am waitng for him and we didn't have any intercourse in those 7 days. Now what am I supposed to do. Is my nikaah still valid?

Q: I need to know that if the husband does not want children to study in standard English medium school because he does not want t o invest in education although he earns a lot. Can wife take step in providing proper schooling to her children on her own expense.