advice

Marrying someone who is 15 years older

Q: I am writing in regards to a marriage proposal. I have met someone I like and he likes me and we want to get married, however we have a 15 year age difference. I am happy to go ahead and marry him and feel very positive about his character and personality and feel that we are similar in terms of maturity and mindset because I have always been mature for my age due to being the eldest child and not having a father growing up. My family like the guy and have no issues with him but are just a little worried about the age and if it will cause problems in the future. What should I do because I really want to marry him and him me because I feel that everything else is perfect for me and I like him and his character and deen and his family and his family have many age gap marriages from 10-18 years age gap and they are happy masha'allah so they have seen it work and are ok with it but my family are a little hesitant but they do really like him and his deen and character and said they have no problems with him otherwise. I would appreciate your advice on the matter. Jazakallah khair

Marital problems

Q: I am married from last 4 years and have no kids. My wife is from a big city and she always has a will to settle at her home city, but I was not ready. In 3rd year of marriage, she managed to take me to her home-parental city to settle. But then, she use to avoid me, spend times with her friends and relatives only not with me. She use to roam here and there like any college girl and avoids me.. Nor she cook food for me , nor she sleep nor even talk for an hours in a day to me & she use to insult me , directly - indirectly. NOT LISTENING TO ME IN SUPPORTS OF HER FAMILY - JUST AVOIDING ME , WHICH KEEPS ME HURTING & SURPRISING... So I decide to come back to my native place city and she refuse then ... she didn't come till date & from last 13-14 month I am waiting for her to come back . Intentionally She is not talking to me nor coming to my home s…..…..in an wish that she will not live with me at my parental house and forcing me settle at her maternal city, where i am not comfortable my whole family tried to talk her and ask her to come back … We have put an middle man to solve the issue and make them talk...but no result , whereas...... On the other-side her family starts creating Negative scene against me…. and her brother keep asking that middle man that we will file fake case of Dowry & domestic violence ..etc Till now i did not want to give her divorce but No response is coming from her & her family members --- we are totally BLANK from last 13-14 month , how to go about. Now we offer them , if she want an end-ship, she should give me divorce from her side , I am not give from my side to avoid to bear the legal consequences But Nor she is coming back and nor giving me Divorce !! How to Go about safer Solution , ........... Pls advice what to do in this situation... What is a FATWA advice for men like me : to get rid and free me from this lady and save my life.

Method of getting over haraam love

Q: I've landed my self in a real big problem in which I feel like I have no escape.

I turned to the local imam of my masjid for help regarding problems in my marriage. Over the space of 2/3 years we would talk regularly near enough daily. To the point we started falling in love with each other. Eventually he confessed how he felt and I also said how I felt and after this we met up once when we kissed however we realised it couldn't be and we broke off. But he went and lied to my husband and everyone that I had to tried to come on to him I told my husband the truth and he believed me and stuck by me. But for the past one year I have been struggling to get over and forget him. And I feel like I'm messing my whole life up over this one person but I feel like I can't see sense. I can't approach my shaykh as the imam involved is also bayt with my shaykh and he told him his side of the story and I also said mine he advised me to change my number etc which I have done but I feel like my heart is so corrupt. I try to forget him but I can't. I feel like I don't love my husband but only sticking by him because of our children. I feel so lost and broken and I feel like I'm destroying myself and humbly request your guidance

Premarital relationship

Q: Meri aap se question ye hi ke jab zindagi bahuth tang Nazar aye tho mauth Ke liye kis tariqe se Dua kare. Bhai me bahuth pareshan hu patani kyu mere saath aisa ho raha hi. my pahle Deen daar nahi bahuth padhi likhi hu dunya ka lekin Allah mujhe taufeeq Diya 5 vakhth ki namazi banaya deendaar banaya aur mere Dil me Allah aisi mohabbath daala Ke mujhe naukri ki kwahish chali gayi my bas parde Ke saath deendaar ban kar Zindagi guzaarna chahti hu lekin mere ghar ka maahol kuch alag hi, phir bhi my Allah par yaqin rakhkar Zindagi guzaarthi rahi aur Dua karti rahi Ke mujhe shohar Jo mile vo deendaar mile hame parde Ke saath rakh kar pyaar mohabbath Ke saath dekhle lekin ab Meri mangni aise ladke se hogayi Ke Jo deendaar nahi aur Meri nakri ki kwahish rakhta hi mujhe Allah se bahuth mohabbath hi lekin Kya Allah mujhse razi nahi mujhe bahuth takleef mehsoos hothi hi lekin my mere Allah Ke Siva kisise kuch keh nahi sakti aur hame samajhne vaala hi nahi ab hamare Dil me khayal aatha hi Ke shayad mauth tho aagayi tho mujhe Allah Ke raasthe me hamesha rahsakungi gaflathagi me phasne ki moka naa rahegi lekin suicide jaayaz nahi ye nahi karna chahti. aise me Kya karu mere liye qaas tor se Dua kiziyega plz Meri shaadi 1 month me hi hai. my bahuth dukhi aur pareshan hu. ammi Abba bhi mere baath nahi samajh rahe koi bhi aisa relative nahi jis se me Meri baath share kar saku. bas Allah hi Mera ummeed hi aap koi suggestion ya phir kuch khaas Dua jis se Meri pareshaniya door hojaye bathayiye. nahi hai Meri problem ki solution aap Ke paas tho plz Allah se Meri darkhwasth tho kijiye. shayad aapki Dua Ke zariye hi Mere liye ek raastha khule.plz

Marital problems

Q: Mera shohar sirf hokam deta hy or meri koi bat nai manta na muje mere ma bap ke ghar jane deta hy shadi ko srf 1 sal howa ma ke ghar 1 he dafa gae hon .. shohar ka ghr karachi me or ma ka peashawar me hy ... shohar khud dubai me hy or sasural me me akeli hon ma bap ke ghar bht jane ka dil karta hy par nai chorta kahta hy Allah ne muje ye haq deya hy chaheye me choron ya nai .. mera shohar baki to bht acha hy par meri her bat us ke smne ghlt or onki her bat sai hy chaheye wo ghlt b ho ... me jab ma bap ke ghar jane ki bat karty hn to mere ma bap ko bad dua deta hy ke Allah inko mot de de meri jan in se chot jae.. muje damki deta hy ke onki zindagi barbd krdonga mere bhai ko br br fon krta hy ke tmhari ma idr fon nai kare or muje fon krne nai deta me chup chup k fon krdety hn ... meri ma or bap akele hy ghar me koi nai hy bhai ki shadi nai howe wo swat me kam karta hy .. or ma bht bemr hy .. me apne shohr se kahty hn muje jane de ap waise b idr nai hy me idr room me bet bet ke tang hon idr b bahr nai chorta din rat mbl pe bt krty hy hum .. baki bht acha hy likan maa ke ghar nai chorta .. din rat wazife karty hn pir b on pe k6 asar nai hota .. maa ka nam lon to bs jagra karke mbl behan se kah ke le leta hy ... meri 3 nand hy 3no ki shadi howe hy pir b idr rahty hy .. on ke shohar ne in ko ma ke ghar betaya hy ke kharacha on ka na ho on ke shohar b dubai me hy.. ye log din rat gomty rahty hy ... mera b dil karta hy ke me b maa ke 7 rahon... roz ghar me larhai jagre hoty hy .. sas ko 3no betiyan pata nai kia kia kahke mere opar sare shoro hojaty hy ... me idr tang hon bhtttt zaida .. mene apne shohar se kaha me in ki tara maa k ghar salo sal nai raongy srf 1 mahene ke liye jane de ... par jane nai deta shadi ke bad sirf 1 dafa maa ke ghar gae hon 1 sal shadi ko hogaya hy ... pahle b larai jagro se maa k ghar 3 mahene bad gae ty abi to full zid pe ara hy .. ap koi wazifa bata de ke shohar bat mane muje maa ke ghar jane de .. idr me jab qurran majid parhty hn to b kahty hy qurran parhty hy amal nai karty or khud idr is ghar me sirf sas nemz parhty hy baki nande dewar sasur koi nemz nai parhta .. jab room ka darwaza kolty hn to kahty hy begam samne bety hy jab band karty hn to kahty hy medam darwaza band karke bety hy me in sub se bht tang hon ... shohar in mamlo me pahle sath deta ta abi parwa nai karta .. apki shukar gozar hongy ...

Pareshaani ka hal

Q: Pahla ye ke mene MBA and BTech kar liya hai. Fir bhi meri naukri nhi lagti. Aur agar koi mil jaati hai to usme mera dil nahi lagta hai mere dimaag me ulte seedhe khayalat aate hain ki is naukri me main fas gaya hoon isme mera future nhi hai ghabrahat hoti hai aur woh job nikal jaati hai haath se. Mera dil bohot ghabrata hai. Pata nhi kyun sote sote uth jata hoon ghabrahat hote hi. Me sharukh khan ya salman khan ko dekhta hoon woh itne famous hain ya aur kisi ko dekhta hoon famous insan ko jinke peeche duniya pagal hai. Woh aate hain chale jaate hain kisi bhi shaher me kuch ghante rukte hain pata nhi mera dil kya chata hain aur me ghbarane lagta hoon. Please kuch batayie .... Me kya karoo

Getting over a haraam relationship

Q: I started my connection with Allah from 2015 but sometimes I feel very empty like such kind of things come in my mind that I cannot tell... May Allah forbid... Sometimes I feel like I am on the edge of leading to kufr and than I say Astaghfirullah my life is very messed up. I love a guy but I left him without saying a word to him because I knew that its haram so I left.. but now all the memories come to my mind and I cry for hours and hours.. I want to talk to him but I cant because its haram... What should I do? I have no friend that I can share my feelings with her. I do tell all my worries to Allah but as I am a human, sometimes I need someone to talk to me too. I miss him so much. What should I do?