Q: My question is related to the relation of mine with my father as it is getting worse day by day. I am 22 years old. We belong to a middle class family and about 4 years ago we bought internet connection. My father is 56 years old now and when we bought the internet connection I was 18 and my father was 52. One day I saw my father watching porn on the internet and for me it was so heart breaking that I got shocked with the kind of mentality my father has. For some time I stayed silent that he might change his habits and for that I gave him some signals that I am aware of what he is doing when alone and at that time my sisters age was 12 years. I was more concerned that she might see him doing all this stuff and just few days later I saw my father was busy watching porn while my sister was standing behind him. On that particular day I broke my silence and told my mom about the whole incident. She talked to him and my father rejected my allegations upon him. This thing continued for about one year and he was losing his respect in my eyes. Last year we connected our tv set to cable and now he just watches tv, some movies and songs with bad dance. I dont like this also but I am silent as it is somehow better than what he was used to do. What I want to say is that he is stubborn and I do not respect him the same way like I used to or you can say that he has lost his respect. Our tv set is in front of my bed and I dont want him to sit on my bed when I am around, not because I do not respect him but because he used to sit in front of tv every time when he is free and for hours and I want my space on my bed because our house is small.
My question is that what should I do according to Islam and can I respect him or change him? Also, he has the habit of talking in loud voice and we hardly talk to eachother daily as my other relatives talk to their fathers.
A: After every salaah, make dua for him that Allah Ta'ala guides him to the straight path. Treat him kindly with love and respect as you have been commanded by Allah Ta'ala. Do not allow his wrongs to consume you and stop you from fulfilling his rights. The wrong he is involved in is between him and Allah Ta'ala and you will not be answerable for his wrongs. However, you should never cooperate with him in the wrongs nor support him in anyway. Commence ta'leem of Fazaail Aamaal and Fazaail Sadaqaat daily within your home with the entire family and at the end make dua for your family and the entire ummat.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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