Q: Can a Muslim woman of marriageable age refuse marriage proposals altogether from Muslim men of good deen and character without meeting them with the approval of her father who is seeking a good spouse for his daughter, or accepts to meet with them due to her father putting pressure on her to get married with the intention of refusing the proposal before meeting the male prospective and then following through to decline the proposal after meeting them because she feels she is not 'mentally ready' for the responsibilities of marriage, or she says that there aren't any 'good' boys left due to trauma surrounding the idea of marriage, after witnessing firsthand from a young age her elder brothers 3 very toxic, unislamic and abusive marriages that all ended in divorce?
According to Islam, are there any valid reasons for a female choosing not to get married or to get married at a later stage (when one is mentally ready etc.)
And if a female is to choose not to marry, how is she expected to live her life whilst under the care of her elderly parents? Is she expected to stay at home or can she go out and work to take care of herself etc.?
And what category (fardh, waajib, musthab, sunnah etc.) does marriage fall under and what category does choosing not to marry for the above reasons fall under for a Muslim female? And what category would refusing a good proposal fall under? (Makrooh, haraam etc.)
Also, what is the responsibility of the parents and especially the father in the above scenario? Is it correct for him to keep pressuring his daughter to accept proposals coming home before making a decision for marriage (Note: he isn't forcing her to get married to anyone specific but is encouraging her to get married and leaving the final decision to his daughter after bringing good proposals for her given her age and that he is elderly and concerned for her wellbeing should anything happen to him) or should he decline the marriage proposals until his daughter is ready despite his concerns for her future?
What advice would you give to the father and daughter in the above situation?
A: Nikaah is an emphasised sunnat. The problems that she is talking about are not new and recent. They were always there. Like there is the negative side to marriage, there is the bright and positive side as well. How many pious, learned, righteous people come around just through marriage. She may confirm a proposal after verifying his ways, beliefs, behaviour, sense of responsibility, etc.
It is her parents' responsibility to take care of her. If they cannot manage taking care of her then it is the responsibility of her brothers to take care of her. If this is also not possible then she can do some work from within the home to sustain herself.
When marriage is an emphasised sunnat then it is the duty of the father to encourage his children to practise the sunnat.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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