Compatibility when choosing a spouse
Q: I'm a taalibul 'ilm (studying Dars-e-Nizaami). I have no objections with what is said, but I'd merely like a clarification and an explanation if possible.
I came across the following question on Muftionline: https://muftionline.co.za/node/33372
At the bottom, as a note, Hadhrat mentions, "The above ruling applies to the case where the boy and girl are both non-Arabs and both their parents and grandparents are born Muslims (i.e. they are not converts)."
I realize that Rasulullaah (Sallallaahu 'alyhi wa sallam) and the Sahaabah Kiraam (radhiyallaahu Ta'aalaa 'anhum) had definitely made a distinction between people based on their tribes, such as them having said that people would never accept anyone as their Khalifah except that of someone from the Quraish.
1. Have we been told the reason for this? I have lived among Arabs for almost my entire life, and I realize that they have some qualities which non-Arabs in general do not possess, such as loyalty, fierceness, power, masculinity, etc. etc. However, has the Shari'ah itself provided a reason for that?
2. a) Hadhrat mentions, "However, if she independently marries a person who is not of her kufu (i.e. he is not an equal match to her but lower than her), then the nikaah will not be valid." Would the nikaah be valid if it is done with the consultation of the parents?
b) With consultation of the parents, is kufu a requirement or merely a recommendation? If a poor, pious boy of low social standing wishes to marry a girl from a rich, pious family with a higher social standing, would it be permissible for him to marry her? The parents of the girl are happy with the boy as well.
c) Nowadays, just fulfilling the piety criteria is extremely difficult. If other aspects of kufu were to be taken into account, it would be all but impossible to find a suitable match. Amongst the rich, piety is extremely rare. Those who are rich and pious, is it not alright for them to look at poorer families for a suitable match?
d) Hadhrat mentions, "Hence, if the boy’s profession and the girl's family's profession is regarded of the same level, then the boy will be considered an equal match to the girl."
Who judges the level of one profession over another? The masses or the pious? As a taalibul 'ilm - having the niyyah that after I complete Dars-e-Nizaami, I'd remain a full-time student of the Deen insha-Allaah Ta'aalaa - what would be my social standing in the future? The masses do not consider anyone as contemptible as the 'ulamaa.
Furthermore, my family has quite a high social standing, with my father being a doctor and all my siblings being quite well off. People generally just group me with them, despite the fact that I'm merely a student of the Deen with no interest in earning more than what is necessary. Would it be permissible for me to marry, for example, a pious girl who's father is a doctor or an engineer (basically rich)?
e) Would it be permissible for me to marry a girl who's father is an 'aalim/Mufti and works full-time as a mudarris?
A:
1. Equality in lineage is only considered among the Arabs. The reason for this is found in the Hadith. Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said, "The Arabs are a kufu for the Arabs, each tribe among them is equal to another tribe."
From this hadith, we understand that a non-Arab boy is not a kufu for an Arab girl (unless the girl's father is pleased to get her married to him e.g. on account of his piety, deeni knowledge and righteousness).
The aspect of lineage is not considered among non-Arabs on account of the fact that non-Arabs have lost their lineage through inter-marrying among all tribes.
2. a) Yes, if the nikaah is done with the consent of her parents, the nikaah will be valid.
b) As above.
c) When looking for a suitable match, deen should be given preference to and made the priority. Hence, if the girl gets a proposal from a boy of low financial status but he is pious, then her parents may get her married to him.
d) The fuqaha have explained the various types of professions and which profession is higher than the other.
d-e) If they are happy to get you married to their daughter, then it is permissible.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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