Husband maintaining a balance between his parents and wife

Q: If a husband defends his wife infront of his parents (as they are on the wrong side) and they get angry then how should a husband maintain his role of kuwam towards his wife as the parents wants to make their decisions. Also, they want the wife to serve them in all household chores on her own. In this situation what can a husband do?

A: It is compulsory upon the husband to fulfil the rights of his parents as well as the rights of his wife. In trying to please his parents, he should not burden his wife and force her to do things which shariah has not made obligatory upon her. Though it is good and commendable for the wife to serve her in-laws, it is not her duty to do so, and nor has shariah made it compulsory upon her. Her duty is towards her husband and her children.

The husband imposing upon his wife to serve his parents and to do things against her will in order to please his parents is not correct. Generally these types of situations where undue advantage is taken from the wife leads to the relationship of the spouses being straitened and impacts negatively upon the marital home. Many a time this then leads to the breakdown of the nikaah.

Therefore, it is essential for the husband to refer to the ulama and take guidance from them in regard to how he should deal with these types of situations.

And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)