Q: My nikaah is to be next week Insha'Allah. I have requested multiple times to not have a function and have it the sunnah way. However my parents are not agreeing and when I try and explain I'm labelled as being disobedient to them, ungrateful and selfish. Both my in laws to be and my parents are saying that you have to compromise for society. This is however not the case, I only wanted to have it in a way that Allah and His Rasul (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) would be pleased.
Out of respect for my in laws and my parents I have now kept quiet. Please advise as to what is the right thing to do.
A: What your parents have mentioned regarding you being disobedient due to you wanting the nikaah to be done according to the sunnah, then this is incorrect.
In shariah, we are taught that the right of Allah Ta'ala comes first, thereafter the right of Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam), and then comes the right of one's parents. The parents will only be obeyed if what they instruct conform to what Allah Ta'ala and His Rasul (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) have commanded. Hence, by you wanting the nikaah to take place according to the sunnah, you are not disobedient, rather you are obedient as you are complying with the laws of shariah. Those who are opposing the sunnah are disobedient.
The sunnah way is that the nikaah be performed in the musjid and the boy's party conduct the walimah in the home with complete segregation between males and females.
If the girl's party wishes to feed in their home, then this is also permissible in shariah though the girl's party feeding should not be regarded as a sunnah practice.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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