Customary practices

Q: Is OK for the bride to enter the groom's house for the first time on a Tuesday after nikaah?

Q: My nikaah is to be next week Insha'Allah. I have requested multiple times to not have a function and have it the sunnah way. However my parents are not agreeing and when I try and explain I'm labelled as being disobedient to them, ungrateful and selfish. Both my in laws to be and my parents are saying that you have to compromise for society. This is however not the case, I only wanted to have it in a way that Allah and His Rasul (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) would be pleased.

Out of respect for my in laws and my parents I have now kept quiet. Please advise as to what is the right thing to do.

Q: The Sunnah of waleemah takes place through the husband feeding, after the nikaah is consummated.

In all the nikaahs of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam), the waleemah was always carried out by Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam). None of the wives of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) nor their families contributed towards the waleemah of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) at the time of their nikaah.

Similarly, Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) encouraged the men of Sahaabah to carry out the Sunnah of waleemah at the time of their nikaah. Hence, we understand that the Sunnah practice of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) in regard to waleemah is for the husband (boy’s party) to host the entire waleemah.

There is no mention made in the Hadith of a joint waleemah being found in the nikaahs of the Sahaabah (Radhiyallahu Anhum) and Taabi’een (Rahimahumullah). Hence, the practice of a joint waleemah is against the Mubaarak Sunnah of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) and should therefore be omitted.

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

With regards to the above... Please advise on below

Assalamu Alaikum wa rehmatullahi wa barakatuhu

Maaf I wanted to ask if to do this to prevent/avoid the functions of the girls side to feed... it won't be possible then too?

Also it's so so common for the girls side to feed (what is called ths reception) but it's not part of sunnah. But if you feed before the nikaah like a tea, or something like that? Because the girls side don't have an option to call so many people in the walima.

Actually it just crossed my mind and I thought I'll ask. Not questioning or getting a leeway. It's just abit difficult especially now when these things have become so common and how to go about dealing with it.

Q: My husband did secret nikah. The bride has not informed anyone in her family. She appointed groom (my husband) as her wali. Is this nikah valid?

Q: Is it permissible to attend a mendhi ceremony/party or is it imitation of non-Muslims?

Q: I am a 53 year old divorced female. My first cousin is 62 and he is recently divorced. We are both single, and are considering making Nikah. Because our families are very close, we are afraid that if we have a public Nikah, and the marriage subsequently does not work, this will cause immense stress on the entire family. Is it possible for us to do a non-public / secret Nikah for a while and then if all works out, we will then tell the family that we are married.

Q: What is the status of what has now become a norm where a girl who is making nikaah holds a tea invitation a few days/week before her nikaah. They say that they do it as their numbers for walimah are limited and thus cannot invite everyone they'd like to like neighbour's, friends, etc.

Is this allowed? What should one do if one is invited to such a tea? It's a simple tea where they serve savouries etc., no intermingling, however it is done for the above mentioned reason.

Q: Are mess nights permissible in Islam? This is where the family gathers some nights before the nikaah and mess the bride/groom with holi powder or food.

Q: I have a question regarding a tradition called "dood pilai" in Asian households.

During weddings, there is a tradition in which the brides sisters take money from the groom and in return give him a glass of milk. It's usually pre planned with the groom so he comes prepared. This event involves free mixing during the wedding and also pardah is not observed properly.

My question is, is the money which the bride's sisters took from the groom haram in these circumstances? Is it haram to use or keep it as a gift?

Does not observing modesty during this event make the money haram to keep or spend? If the groom earned it through halal means but it was transferred to me through free mixing, does it make the money haram to spend?

Q: I'm with a person for many years. But now we live in the same place because we are studying in the same state. We meet every day and shake hands or be together that puts us under extreme guilt. From the start we only had an intention to get married SO we have now. We can't tell our parents this time because we live in a high society where you are supposed to get married when you achieve something in life, have a great job and everything. But we are still studying.

Now we are at the same place so we come in touch and we want to make our relationship halaal by doing nikaah so as not to get in any haraam things. Our age is 25. Can you please enlighten us in this matter. How we are supposed to do it? When in future we will do it in front of our parents that time do we have to give divorce first? Can we marry the same person twice?