Q: I was married for about a year I asked for a divorce because my husband used to hug his female cousins and cousins wives despite me telling him Islamically it is not right. He accepted it was not right but did not stop and his family defended it because they always did it so basically 'culture'. After the divorce I did my best to guide him but all doors felt close was Allah protecting me? Also will I get sin for asking for a divorce? I ask because his family did not feel its a big issue to get divorced over.
A: It was definitely not permissible for him to hug his female cousins. This is an extremely serious sin.
In the hadith it is mentioned that for a non mahram man to look at a non mahram woman is zina of the eyes and if he touches her hands, this will be zina of the hands and if he speaks to her, then this will be zina of the tongue. (Saheeh Bukhaari #6243, Saheeh Muslim # 2657)
When hugging a non mahram woman's body, then both people will be involved in zina of this type (zina of touching).
Below are few Ahaadith that explain the grave warnings and severe punishment for those who commit these types of major sins:
Hazrat Ma’qil ibn Yasaar (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) reports that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, “It is better for a person that a needle be pierced into his head than for him to touch a woman whom it is not permissible for him to touch.”
Hazrat Abu Umaamah (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) reports that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, “Abstain from being in seclusion with women. By the qasam of that Being in whose control lies my life, no man secludes himself with a strange women but shaitaan joins them. And it is better for a person to touch a swine which is messed in mud than to allow his shoulder to touch the shoulder of a strange woman.”
Hazrat ‘Uqbah (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) reports that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, “Guard yourselves from entering upon women (who are unlawful for you).” An Ansaari Sahaabi (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) enquired, “O Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam)! What about the brother-in-law?” Nabi (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) replied, “The brother-in-law is (like) death (i.e. much more precaution should be exercised from him).”
Generally these types of wrongs lead a person towards getting involved in other major sins and eventually this takes him towards falling into the actual sin of zina.
You will definitely not be sinful for asking him for a divorce when you saw that he was not prepared to stop the wrong he was involved in despite you advising him with love and respect.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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