Q: About 7–8 years ago, when I was newly married (around 1 year of marriage), my husband suggested we do arm-wrestling for fun. With his permission, I also did arm-wrestling with his four brothers. At that time, I did not feel any lust or desire from my side at all.
I noticed that the brothers looked a bit excited, which could have been because they had never held a woman’s hand before but now I am worried. What if they might have felt lust at that time, 1 of them asked for a re match even though I lost from all of them but I said no 1 time is enough now I cannot ask them directly as it would be very embarrassing and it was almost a decade ago. Now I do proper hijab and cover my face too.
My question is: Does this cause hurmat-e-musaharat, and is my nikah still valid?
I also suffer from waswas (intrusive doubts) in religious matters, so I want clarity and peace of mind.
A: You should make sincere tawba for doing hand wrestling with your husband's brothers and your husband should also make tawba for allowing you to do hand wrestling with his brothers.
This is extremely shameful behaviour and a major sin. It is reported in the Ahaadith that for a male to touch a non-mahram female or vice versa is zina of the hands .
Apart from this, this can cause haraam and lustful feelings to be created in the hearts towards each other thereby leading to further fitnah taking place.
Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam commanded that strict pardah be observed between all non-mahram males and females.
Hazrat ‘Uqbah (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) reports that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, “Refrain from entering the presence of women (who are non mahram to you).” An Ansaari Sahaabi (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) enquired, “O Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam)! What about the brother-in-law? Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) replied, “The brother-in-law is (like) death (i.e. much more precaution should be exercised from him).”
You should refrain from this in the future. However, your nikaah with your husband is intact and has not broken.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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