Q: When complimenting someone, do we have to actually mean what we’re saying to them?
For example: If I tell someone I like their clothes to be nice, do we have to actually like their clothing to be able to compliment them?
What if we don’t think anything of it or don’t actually like it or dislike it, for example, would this be lying or deceit?
What about when it comes to marital relationships? Compliments would be good for the relationship I think but do you have to mean them every time you compliment your spouse? Or would it be okay to just say it to make them happy even if you don’t actually think that lying to one’s spouse is permissible. I think I’m pretty sure but is that only when they ask you, for example: "how do I look?" and you respond with a lie to not hurt their feelings.
Can it also be without them asking too, like you spontaneously tell them for example “you look nice today” when you might not actually think so?
A: One should refrain from speaking lies when complimenting people. Similarly, when dealing with one's spouse, one should refrain from speaking lies.
However, in order to create mahabbat and happiness in the heart of one's wife, it is permissible for one to compliment her for the food she has cooked by saying to her that he has really enjoyed the meal even though he didn't find the food as tasty as he has explained.
Similar is the case in regard to the clothing which she wears. In order keep her heart happy, he can tell her that she looks very pretty in the clothing she is wearing.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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