Good Character

Meaning of having pride

6 days ago By user2

Q: My questions concern the notion of pride in Islam. I would like to clarify that I am a man, and I apologize for the length of my questions. 

I would like to know whether pride is permissible in Islam—pride without arrogance, while being aware that it is Allah who provides. For example, is it permissible for me to tell my younger brother that I am proud of him for passing his exams? 

From what I understand, pride in one’s ancestors, origins, and ‘asabiyyah is haraam. In parallel, Allah the Most High says: “O mankind, indeed We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into peoples and tribes so that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is All-Knowing and All-Aware.” (Qur’an 49:13) However, if this pride is not accompanied by arrogance or a feeling of superiority over other lineages and origins, is it permissible? I am obviously referring to Muslim ancestors of our origin, not disbelieving ancestors. Is it permissible to be proud of their history, their courage and bravery in fighting in the path of Allah, their good character, their way of dressing, their traditional craftsmanship, and to promote this pride among members of my people? 

Likewise, is it permissible to be proud of one’s culture of origin—clothing, traditional food, craftsmanship, way of life, etc.—and to promote this pride among one’s people and encourage them to preserve certain cultural elements? I am referring here only to permissible customs. I would also like to clarify that I appreciate seeing Muslims from other backgrounds being proud (without arrogance or a sense of superiority) of their cultures. For example, I appreciate seeing Arabs being proud and encouraging other Gulf Arabs to wear the shemagh/ghutra, or Afghans/Desi people wearing turbans and the salwar kameez. I mention this to show that my feeling is not limited to my own people, but applies to all Muslims without distinction. I also believe this can help counter the homogenization caused by the westernization of Muslim societies. If this is permissible, but this cultural pride is tied to the fact that we consider it the heritage of our (Muslim) ancestors, is it still permissible? 

Finally, is it permissible to feel proud (without showing off, arrogance, or a sense of superiority) that people recognize my origin based on the clothing I wear when I travel (for a few days, not long-term) or during celebrations such as Eid (I live in a multicultural place where such clothing is not considered لباس الشهرة)?

Telling a child that the new born child will bring stuff from jannah

2 months ago By user2

Q: A long time ago, my parents told my young self that when my little brother comes into this world he will be able to bring stuff from Jannah that we want like a toy, and told us to make dua for it. We did eventually get it from our parents but I'm worried that my parents doing something like this is considered kufr and me and my parents joking about how I was really gullible about it is also kufr. I believe they were trying to make me have a closer connection with Allah.

Avoiding the sin of gheebat

8 months ago By user2

Q: If ones family member backbites another to express their frustrations with their behaviour, and does it constantly, what should they do? 

Telling them to stop breaks the ties of trust and closeness, and listening to it incurs sin. What should I do? 

If one makes tawbah, will they still lose their deeds on Qiyamah?

Speaking lies when complimenting people

8 months ago By user2

Q: When complimenting someone, do we have to actually mean what we’re saying to them? 

For example: If I tell someone I like their clothes to be nice, do we have to actually like their clothing to be able to compliment them? 

What if we don’t think anything of it or don’t actually like it or dislike it, for example, would this be lying or deceit?

What about when it comes to marital relationships? Compliments would be good for the relationship I think but do you have to mean them every time you compliment your spouse? Or would it be okay to just say it to make them happy even if you don’t actually think that lying to one’s spouse is permissible. I think I’m pretty sure but is that only when they ask you, for example: "how do I look?" and you respond with a lie to not hurt their feelings. 

Can it also be without them asking too, like you spontaneously tell them for example “you look nice today” when you might not actually think so?

Delaying in correcting someone when they commit an evil

10 months ago By user2

Q: If it is permissible to delay denouncing evil (النهي عن المنكر) for a good reason, then if I see someone cursing, for example, if I advise him and he curses and he does not respond, and I say I will delay the advice until he calms down, but he calms down and I did not advise him, and two days passed, should I advise him after two days or is the obligation waived? And why is it waived when it is a debt?

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