Advice

Supporting one's family and parents

Q: What is the responsibility of a Muslim man towards supporting his kids and wife and supporting his parents? I have been working since I got married assisting my husband support our children as his money went towards supporting his parents putting his sister through school etc. At times he did not have a job and he used my money. We do not have our own house and live with his parents to look after them since he is the only son. We do not even go away on holiday without taking his parents and married sister along. However I recently found out that his mother decided that if she dies the house will go to my husband but if he dies before her, she will give the house to his married sister who has not even taken her parents to a restaurant or a holiday. She eats for free by us on weekends and holidays but buys takeaways quietly for herself and her husband. Is this justice? What then will become of me and my kids who are still young eldest 12? Why is it my responsibility to provide for our kids? Where in Islam does it say that he is forced to live and support his parents and that I should live under his mother's rules.

Restricting the mother in-law from visiting more than once a week

Q: I would like to ask you is there a verse in the Quraan that states about privacy for example knocking as one's residence and they refuse to let you in. I know she is allowed to visit her mother and visa versa. Also what if she is defiant and has her family over all the time because it is a matter of privacy. Am I right? And he has a right to reject them no? And also is it permissible for a woman's mother to stay at her residence because according to my understanding she (mother) only has rights at her nephew's residence or her brother and it is also the responsibility of her husband. Please elaborate further.

Assisting travellers

Q: I will be settling in a town outside of Cape Town where I will begin my business Insha Allah. I request your duas for success. The existence of the town is partly based on the fact that travellers pass through who have needs. Many jamaats and muslims pass through the town for different reasons. What are their rights over me and the larger Muslim community of this town?

Good character

Q: We are advised to have good character. What does this mean? We must not get angry but at some point we slip up and something might anger us, does that mean we have bad charater? How can we inculcate good character in our lives?

Marital problems

Q: I got your reply today and I got very happy by reading your reply. Jazakallah khair. My husband is a very nice person. My in-laws are also very nice and supportive but the thing is that my husband is a very short tempered person and I am a very patient and sober kind of girl. So sometimes he hurts me so much by his behaviour. You wrote in your reply that my istihkara dream indicates that my relation with my husband and in-laws is improving.. So please tell me what should I need to do to handle his rude kind of behaviour? I love and respect him and my in-laws and I want to be the best wife for him and the best daughter for my in-laws. Allah has given me approval for this relation by showing me the positive response in my dream. I trust Allah a lot and I respect his decision by saving my relationship with my husband and in-laws and that is the reason I always try to handle things patiently. Waiting for your reply. Allah bless you.

Choosing a life partner

Q: A marriage proposal came for a girl ,the boy and his family are good people the boy is into tabligh also, however the girl has done istikharah once but after doing istikharah her heart became neutral, means she is not inclined to the present proposal instead she left this matter to Allah thinking if Allah wishes let him make easy the path of nikah with this boy or if Allah does not wish let him take this matter away from us. Now if Allah brings this proposal near to us and both parties are almost happy with it, will it be khair for us?

Doubts

Q: I have psychosis and split personality disorder, and ocd. I was repeatedly saying things to back bite people and to to leave Islam and if I was concentrating on stopping I would be able to stop. Some times I would put my attentive on something else and then I would continue saying things that would back bite or leave Islam. Would the backbiting count and did I leave Islam?

Assigning one's affairs to Allah Ta'ala

Q: I am working in Dubai, in a private company as an accountant. The company pays me less compared to my work and responsibility. As an accountant I should get much more as per UAE market. The owner of the company pays more in back hand to those staff who belong to his relatives or his group. I was watching all this things and finally I have decided to leave the company and start looking for a job. Al-hamdulillah finally I got a job. Now time to resign from this company and join the new company, I gave resignation letter and mentioned the reason being my family problems because I knew if I have said the original reason, they will never allow me to go. After my resign letter the owner of the company called me and miss behaved with me and then the owner with his son's assistance attacked me, he slap me, kick me in front of the office staff. Even they abused me, they used very bad words against my father. After the incident they threatened me that if I complain to police they would take action against my family in India (me and my owner  belong to the same area). I know they are very powerful and I can't do anything against them,they have very good relations in higher class people in UAE and I belong to middle class family. After the matter, I feel very sad. I am trying to forget but I can't. I can't sleep at night. I can't show my face to other staff. I feel very hurt. I hope you understand my situation. After that I have decided I can't get the respect which I have lost at that day. I can't get justice in this world. So I have decided to complain to Al Mighty Allah. Can you please explain to me what will the justice be for me according to Quran and Hadith so I can expect this justice from Almighty Allah in this world and Aakhirat also. Please explain.