Advice

Q: I am 28 years old and feel problems in learning and understanding things. I am physically weak but I worked hard in education and reached Software Engineering level and passed it. I faced many diseases since childhood but now I have no apparent disease besides I am still weak. I undergone my medical tests but doctors told me that I have no significant problem. In daily life I feel problems in doing, understanding and learning things. And due to these problems I spent plenty of time on researching about mental and Psychological health issues which makes me exhausted besides wastage of my time. Most of the time I feel depressed. Real problem is that when I compare my self with my other fellows, I feel disappointed regarding my abilities. I also feel that my relatives also compare me with others and they feel that I am not doing up to the standard. Now I want to ask that did Allah Almighty create every person with equal abilities? Or are some people born with problems? How can I be satisfied with my present abilities? Some doctors and other people told me that I have no problem just have over sensitivity that makes me anxious. I feel disappointed when I solve a problem in 3 hours but others solves it in 3 minutes. I feel comparatively deficient. Please read my problems carefully and guide me according to Islamic teachings so that I may be able to live a healthy life.

Q: I have applied for US non-immigration visa to meet my son with my wife and daughter. Today we gave interview but the embassy refused. Now I want to appeal, please suggest.

Q: I work in a call centre and my role involves taking calls and speaking to customers. Some of them are women. Unfortunately, living in the UK it's hardly avoidable not to find employment that doesn't involve having some interaction with the opposite gender with the exception of some sort of manual labour work which, is tiresome, and pays very low for long hours. That's not ideal with everything so expensive here now. Alhamdulillah, I try my utmost best to minimise as much interaction as possible. There is never any physical contact just eye contact, and verbal communication. I never do the following:

- Have dinner with them during lunch hours

- Play pool with them during lunch hours like other brothers

- Engage in causal chit-chat, but strictly work related when necessary, only gentle response to a good morning or when they greet me with a pretentious smile

- I never offer them or accept a drive home or to work

- I never get in the elevator if there is more than one female

I always say astagfirullah as much as possible for any shortcoming and just for interacting even when I needed to. With this in mind, am I still sinning working where I am? Allah says in the Qur’an to fear him as much as we can, and I do my utmost best, but it is also frudh for a man to make a living for his family.

Q: I am a Muslim girl. I want to ask you a question about how can I get rid of my evil habits and my evil thoughts. Whenever I start praying to Allah Ta'ala and remember Allah Ta'ala and my Nabi-e-Kareem (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) many bad intentions come into my mind. I say many bad things which I don't want to say when I recite the name of Allah Ta'ala or use my Holy Qur'an. I am restless and don't know what to. Please help me for the sake of Allah Ta'ala.

Q: Allah Ta'ala blessed my wife with wearing niqaab. What advice do you have for me as her husband and even for her?

Q: What is the responsibility of a Muslim man towards supporting his kids and wife and supporting his parents? I have been working since I got married assisting my husband support our children as his money went towards supporting his parents putting his sister through school etc. At times he did not have a job and he used my money. We do not have our own house and live with his parents to look after them since he is the only son. We do not even go away on holiday without taking his parents and married sister along. However I recently found out that his mother decided that if she dies the house will go to my husband but if he dies before her, she will give the house to his married sister who has not even taken her parents to a restaurant or a holiday. She eats for free by us on weekends and holidays but buys takeaways quietly for herself and her husband. Is this justice? What then will become of me and my kids who are still young eldest 12? Why is it my responsibility to provide for our kids? Where in Islam does it say that he is forced to live and support his parents and that I should live under his mother's rules.

Q: I would like to ask you is there a verse in the Quraan that states about privacy for example knocking as one's residence and they refuse to let you in. I know she is allowed to visit her mother and visa versa. Also what if she is defiant and has her family over all the time because it is a matter of privacy. Am I right? And he has a right to reject them no? And also is it permissible for a woman's mother to stay at her residence because according to my understanding she (mother) only has rights at her nephew's residence or her brother and it is also the responsibility of her husband. Please elaborate further.

Q: I will be settling in a town outside of Cape Town where I will begin my business Insha Allah. I request your duas for success. The existence of the town is partly based on the fact that travellers pass through who have needs. Many jamaats and muslims pass through the town for different reasons. What are their rights over me and the larger Muslim community of this town?

Q: We are advised to have good character. What does this mean? We must not get angry but at some point we slip up and something might anger us, does that mean we have bad charater? How can we inculcate good character in our lives?