Premarital relationships
Q: My family want me to marry one man, but I want to marry another man. My family is very against my marriage with the man that I love. They hate me for this. They say it is better if I die.
Advice
Marital problems
Q: I am really worried with a problem which is very big for me right now. This mail may be big. But for Allah's sake, help me. I asked you a question a few years back regarding my husband taking his office colleague in his car to jummah salaat and dropping her at her home. This was without my knowledge. You said it is not allowed. I've shown the mail to him. The woman and my husband decided not travel. Now again after all this time, I am a mother of 3 boys aged 6 5 and 1 year. I am a stay at home mother. As a wife I fulfill every duty and responsibility of mine to the fullest and as a mother also. My husband and I had a fight over his picking up a neighbor from the Hindu community from his office. I asked him to stop it and he agreed, Promised me. Then two years later I found on his phone a few whatsapp messages saying you are beautiful and some more than friendly chat of whatsapp messages with smiles and lol's. He is 37 now and the girl is maybe 25. He was loving me a lot. Literally he and I shared a very special bond. I felt blessed that Allah has given me a loving and caring husband and three beautiful kids. My family was perfect. Suddenly this girl comes. I asked him to stop taking her in his car as I feel possessive in these things. I don't want another woman to sit in the front seat. He hit me back then. I was pregnant with my 3rd baby. Then he realized and said sorry. I was kept in the dark all this time. He was cheating behind my back. He says he was only friendly with her. Picking her up. Dropping her at home. But why do this without my knowledge. Now he hits me a lot. Says he can leave me (divorce) anytime if I make a fuss out of it. What should I do. I feel lost, suicidal. But I care for my kids. I don't want to hurt them. If something happens to me. They will be left alone in this world. I was hospitalized with all this shock. My BP thyroid sugar levels are high now. I can't bear this anymore. Please help me.
Marital not interested in the marriage
Q: My husband has become so hostile towards me. He cannot find a job and blames me for that, as I have misplaced his CV. I tried creating one again, but he says it is not the same. He is helping a family with only women, mostly with his money, but then I have to help him pay the debt. His family spoke to him about a non-mahram woman but he told me that if that is a problem, he will marry the woman so that it is not an issue. When I tell him to leave me, he says he will but I must give him a chance to stay at my house till he finds a job. He maintains that he will not free me, even after he leaves. Now I hear remarks from my family that he wants to inherit from me. Can I sell one of my assets, even if I make a loss and give him his share of inheritance, instead of him waiting for me to die. It is very, very painful to see my husband go to these people. The mother and other members of the family calls him to help them (that is the reason he says he goes there). I can be spiteful and sell all my assets and give it to my children whilst I am still alive, but it would be at such a loss. I only have two more years to work and he is cross because I could not get a loan for a franchise for him, even if I put all my assets as security. He accuses me of boycotting the process. I tell him that Allah (Ta'ala) has saved me instead, as he is not really interested in staying with me. Please advise as to what to read, what amaal to do, how to handle the situation.
Parents not happy with the girl one has married
Q: My parents are angry on me because I did not obey them and married one divorced lady. Actually they agreed initially but after some time my sisters made my mother refuse that girl but I was doing everything normally as I introduced that lady to mother and father by taking them to her home and cleared everything regarding her martial status. But my sisters forced my mother to reject her and I couldn't say no to my wife's family and had to get nikaah done in front of their family. I tried at least one year to make my family understand the situation and traveled from U.A.E to Pakistan twice to make my sisters understand. Now my question is that since I am married to that lady, my parents are not talking to me specially my mother but my father has no issue to meet me but he also does not contact me himself. Please advise me a dua as well so that I can get my parents back.
Reciting Surah Yaseen and blowing in the water and giving it to a non-Muslim
Q: My elderly 78 year old Nigerian Christian neighbor called me to her home today and advised me that she has been experiencing evil influences for the past 10 years. She believes her home to be the problem. She says she is troubled by bad spirits troubling her during the night not letting her sleep. Her Christian priests advised her to undertake lots of prayer, one advised her to take benefit from Yaseen Shareef. Hence she has approached me. She wants me to find someone to do an amal for her. She has asked for holy water as well. What shall I do? She says she is very desperate. I am tempted to give her zam zam and a copy of the Qur'an Shareef in English. Should i also give her audio Qur'an? Please advise what I should do in this instance. Should my family or I be concerned at getting involved in this sort of thing? Can there be repercussions? Your direction in this matter is very much appreciated.
Quarrels and fights
Q: Three months back me and my elder brother had a fight. We both are married Masha Allah. I have twin 6 years old daughters. In that fight my brother beat me up in front of his wife my daughters and my mother's home servant. After I got beaten by my brother and when he called me "awaara" just because I did love marriage, so many years had past but after listening such words I got angry in reaction. I said bad words. I said abusive words for my brother's father in-law who is also my uncle. Day by day my uncle's family had stuffed so much hatred for our family specially me. I am 29 years old. I feel so hurt because I lost my respect. I am ashamed. Now my uncle's family after knowing that I said bad words they are insulting my mother and me. He said my brother did right if he beats me because I said bad words for him and his daughter. This was not true. My brother beat me first in that fight, he got abusive first. It was only my reaction what should I do. Does Islam allow a man or a brother to beat his sister like this for no reason. Kindly explain what should I do?
Marital problems
Q: My sister has been married for four years now. Before one year completed, her husband gave her one talaaq and declared that in papers as well. Though elders of family sat and did agreement and sent her back. He started beating her, scolding her, his mom and sisters started abusing my sister. It's the same situation going on now. They are blessed with two girls. Mother in-law came to hit her last week as my sister gave birth to a girl. They are highly uneducated family and always talk with bad words. My elders want to make an agreement but they are abusing them as well. Now my sister went to hospital and came out from that house and she is with us now. She refused to go back to that house due to the scare of in-laws and husband's beating. What is the sunnah in this situation? We can't see her anymore in this situation and she is educated and hence can start working as a teacher.
Addicted to porn
Q: I need advice. I have a weakness of pornography. I can stop everything else but this one, I can't. I fight with the feeling and it goes sometimes when I listen to Quran but it comes back later. It keeps taunting and provoking me to do it. It is the only thing I want to stop. I read Quran and perform salaah everyday.
Marital problems
Q: I have a problem regarding the relationship with my husband. We are married since 2 years. Last year he took me to his country (Pakistan), to meet his family and friends. At first everything was okay. But than the problems started. He left me in the house, where his mother, 2 brothers and sister live, and returned after his work (which ended at 11pm/ 10 pm - he made extra work for making a fancy walima which I didn't want). So I was constantly in a house with non mahrams, which made me feel very uncomfortable, especially because his brothers often invited male friends too. I wasn't allowed to leave the house and so I spend most of the time in a very small room without any sunlight. Once my husband allowed me to leave the house, so I did, but when I returned his mother insulted me that I behaved like a slut and so will everyone think of women who leave the house she said. So I didn't leave the house again, but I went into deep depression. My mother in-law didn't allow me to do the housework, so I just cleaned the small room in which I and my husband slept. The other problem was we had no privacy. The walls were very thin and so his mother could hear us in the night - which I felt very embarrassed (we turned already loud music on). I didn't know if I am allowed to say no when my husband comes in the night, but when my shyness and privacy is at risk. He said he is too poor to afford an apartment (also when I requested him that I'll buy it, he said no). His mother than came to me and said Allah should curse me because she could hear me. I told my husband but he said what can he say against his mother, she is more important in Islam than me. When my husband came home he mostly was angry, tired and not interested in me. I tried to make myself beautiful, to speak good to him and to do things for him but he mostly yelled at me and insulted me. He was angry about all little things (e.g because I put a little too much oil in his hair, because I bought too many strawberries from my money, because I was speaking too much or too less). I really went into huge depression. Nobody talked with me, my husband didn't allow me to meet his female cousins there or to invite them. He left me to go to a walima, as I had huge breathing problems and begged him to help me. He Said I don't deserve it that he treats me good. That I am like a slave girl to him, who just should obey him. He put very unislamic assumptions in me without any reason (which are great sins in islam) or proof. He offered me no nice words or feeling of comfort. I cried very often during the day and because of that his mother got angry on me, and my husband got angry on me. He said I am doing haram because crying is haram. I begged him to stop using hurtful words (like he did, and ordered me to stop crying). When I cried he yelled at me and the others ignored me. Also the neighbors complained by my husband why he treats a woman like that, that she crys like that. So he and his family got more angry with me. He went out angry of the house and his mother insulted me with awful words. Then his brother came and also insulted me while I said its not right to do and that they should stop please. His brother said to me: You are worthless. I am a man and you are a weak woman. You'll see I am much stronger and I'll hurt you. You are nothing without your husband, you are less than dirt. And so on. They said I am their problem and they'll get my husband there and they will tell all people to put their anger on me and to tell me that I am the problem. His mother also insulted my mother. I told my husband that but he said what can he do, shes his mother and he is his brother. It's not good, but Ia m bad that I told him and expect him to do something. I than took my flight back (which we had organized before). Later he told me that he hasn't payed the right price of my mahr (which I wanted, it was just a cheap date) because he thought it would have been too difficult. He also let me pay for nearly all expenses (food, winter cloths, thin summer cloths - I wasn't prepared for this weather, toilet stuff) but gave 3/4 of his money to his mother alone. He later apologized for his behaviour and I forgave him again. He said he was "just" angry and stressed. But also now when he is angry and stressed, he puts Islamically very bad assumptions on me, and makes me cry with his hurtful words. He's just waiting for his papers to come with me and here he was diffrent (he was before here in my country). But I feel so helpless. I really felt like I should make a divorce. But because of Allah I'll not do it even when I feel bad. My husband doesn't educate me in ilm (also when I asked him, since before our marriage and first sight I converted) and often says he is not interested in the Sunnah, just in farz.
Making dua for a friend
Q: I have a very close friend of mine. Due to some personal reasons, I am feeling like as if someone has done some magic on her. I wanted to ask about some dua as told by Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) or mentioned in Quran to get a solution for it. Furthermore, I wanted to know whether it is alright to recite this dua even if we doubt that somebody is under the influence of magic? I wanted to confirm this.