Advice

Following one Aalim who one has confidence in

9 years ago By admin

Q: I suffer from this type of ocd called scrupulosity. This often makes me have obsessive guilt. I fear that I have made the wrong choice on some islamic controversial issues and disagreements among the scholars such as music and other disagreements scholars have disagreements on. For example, for music I follow the opinion that music is permissible as long as if doesn't contain bad words and sexual content or provokes lustful desires. After researching the hadiths and reading different opinions I felt happy and confident with my choice. The waswas came and has made feel doubt. Not just on this issue but others as well. I fear that I have made the wrong choice and that I'll go to hell for it. I became so obsessed about thinking about my decision. Why does shaitan put this doubt in me and cause me anxiety. What if I make the wrong choice and side with the wrong scholars, will I be put to hell and punished by God? How can I feel confident on my choice without feeling doubt and obsessive guilt?

Leaving the country one is working in for Deeni reasons

9 years ago By admin

Q: I am from Pakistan and I am working in Dubai since 18 months. I find it always very difficult and disappointing to stay away from parents and brothers and sister. In my country I can get a job but it pays less than the job in Dubai. I have decided to leave and go back and work there on less salary than here and live with parents and brothers and I am also getting married soon in my country so I prefer to stay with all family and work on less salary there instead of staying here in Dubai away from them. My question is that according to Islamic teachings, am I taking the right step? Maybe this question seems little bit stupid but it holds great importance in my life as I want to follow my Deen in every aspect of my life. Please answer my question and help me to put an end to this confusion.

Premarital relationship

9 years ago By admin

Q: I had been engaged for one year and I just talked to my fiancee on mobile and crossed every limit on mobile. She left me after one year and got married immediately to her bhaabi's brother. I saw her after her marriage, she came before me on my call in front of her family. She said that she told her parents that she did not agree to the engagement but her mother said she is lying and her bhaabi had put black magic on her. I am very much confused and upset and can't forget the talks we had. I just want to know that

1. Did she really love that boy?

2. Maybe she loved that boy and me as well but she left me because of my behaviour or may be she and that boy had something between them.

3. I also want to apologise to her in front of her family as well.

Breaking off a haraam relationship

9 years ago By admin

Q: I have one problem and I need to know that what should I do. I am 28 years old and married 6 years ago but 3 years back I met a guy on chat. We became close friends, we even started loving each other but many times I feel that I am doing wrong. I am cheating my husband. I decided to break relation with that guy but don't know, I feel like I hurt that guy as he was in love. Now without letting him know any reason, I am not in contact with this guy because I don't want to do any sinful deed anymore. I want to know that did I do the right thing? But one feeling is still in my mind that maybe I hurt that guy and maybe he will not forgive me. Please guide me what should I do?

Thinking of death

9 years ago By admin

Q: Everything was going smoothly, but since a month I am in a lot of troubles. These troubles are mainly psychological. I am unable to concentrate on my studies. Rather it is like I want to study but I am unable to due to lack of determination, will power, etc. I am lost and I don't know what should I do. I waste a lot of time these days in idiotic activities. I just want to stop this but I am unable to. Please help me in this matter. If there is a dua to overcome such distress please do give me.

Tawbah and repentance

9 years ago By admin

Q: My issue concerns my conscience towards Allah. I feel extremely guilty. I must tell it all from the beginning. I know a man since many years now. I love him and wanted to marry him he is a good person. Somehow many years back before we were married (because we are married since half year now) I made istikhara but inside I really wanted to marry him. I couldn't imagine leaving him. I did istikhara because I needed to forget a wrong istikhara I did without thinking. With opening Qur'an randomly and so on and taking first word which came out a bit shocking like rethink or hell. I found its a wrong istikhara and Shias do this but I couldn't forget it. I kept thinking while doing it. I didn't know its was wrong and Allah gave me the right sign towards my niyyat. But to keep hope I had to do sunnah way so I could feel better. The thing is that i actually wanted to marry him but some opinions say one must decline his wish which is difficult but some others say ur heart will always want sth. Anyway i used to think Allah giving me signs i shd leave him any small thing i thought i must leave him. I actually dont see the isitkhara as asking for khair but i was seeing it now more as gettin permission from Allah. Cause wen sth negative happend and i thought Thats a sign that Allah tells me to leave i kept fearing and couldnt accept it inside i wanted to continue at the end its decree whatever comes. But my niyat is i feel so bad i actually feel like i went against Allahs permission i didn want to leave him anyway and Allah counts that. After i married now everything of these oöd thoughts came back. I feel i have chosen someone over Allah and the fact which makes me depressed most is that i cant imagine to leave him i cant. Thats makes me feel so much more hypocrital and sinful. I again fell into confusion fear asking Allah to forgive me and so on. Always again seeing sth like signs as Allah again sending me signs.like reading some sentence or hadith by coincidence fittin to me as Allah telling me leave him. But once that happend i cudn again accept it and think doing it.Its like i know i wont do it i cant do it as long i cant i am feeling i willingly accepting that i go against Allah and prefer someone astaghfirullah.bcuz thats wht i just cant do this pain i cudnt take it why shd Allah b pleased with me and this marriage. You know if my intention would b just to want khair in my life with him no calimities etc then i wud say i have made istikhara with fully correct intentions and now also just wanting best. But wht concerns me is that i dont hv to leave him that i can be with him forever. I wud bear problems i will have etc but not that i must leave him..thtsy i cant even say: no my only intention is i want to stay with him with hope forgood life etc.but my real n only intention is just that i cant leave him. You knw wht i mean? Its like this fear i have which i feel got bigger than i shd have fear of Allah is exactly the thing i must sacrifice then only then im sincere cuz thats exactly what i cant do in my mind fr Allah. One day again i said ya Allah wht shd i do tht u forgive me n repeating it again again while walkin. In that moment my husband called n i want to take phoneout of my bag n the bag got torn in tht moment. As a sign i shd leave him which means tearing. Thinking Allah is trying to help me n show me but i dont want to follow it anyway thats the thing.even if these signs r wrong i cant follow them anyway i feel so hypocrital. As it counted i dont want to follow it anyway.what difference it makes then..if i ask Allah to forgive me i find myself n feelinf like i said Allah forgiveme tht i cant leave smeone for you and prove my love to you which is more. U see how i feel. What shd i do i feel its my nafs wanting him i hv a battle with my nafs which desires wishes sth but in wrong way and with wrong niya and with wrong priority why i think Allah will count what i feel doing. Allah knows all. I cant come out of that circle. I cant stop my feelings which i have towards husband nor i can chose him over Allah. Im suffering i have like a test i feel. Will Allah punish me? Will he count all i feel and act upon? Because i feel im doing sin its not that i imagine sth which isnt there. I feel there is a choosing and i cant do it.

Premarital relationship

9 years ago By admin

Q: I had been engaged for one year and I just talked to my fiancee on mobile and crossed every limit on mobile. She left me after one year and immediately married  her bhabi's brother . I saw her after her marriage, she came before me on call in front of her family. She said that she told her parents that she did not agree to the engagement but her mother said she is lying and her bhaabi had done black magic on her. I am very confused and upset and can't forget the talks and her.

Urine from the child's diaper leaking in the haram

9 years ago By admin

Q: I was doing umrah last Thursday with my husband and kids. When I offering salaah in safa marwa I saw some water. That time I was not sure whether it was water or urine leaked from by daughter's diaper. But after I left haram I realized that  that was urine. I am so scared. What do I do? That urine must be touched the feet of many people in the haram. What will be my punishment. I am very scared. Please guide me.

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