Advice

Q: When I feel awkward or low continuously for two to three days then the next I fast and I feel relaxed. I want to know if there is anything wrong in doing so?

Q: I just wanted to know if it is right for my wife's mother to come fetch my wife against my will when we have an arguement then her mom tells her we must leave each other?

Q: My parents are married alhamdulillah and my dad did a second marriage. It's been 2 years. He wants to keep both of his wives together in one home but my mother feels hurt seeing the other woman again and again. What is the rule for these circumstances in Islam? My father says my mum hurts him by asking to stay separately, he says he won't forgive her so in akhirat will there be any harm to my mum? What is her duty and her rights if she doesn't want to stay together with another woman?

Q: I have been married for 13 years and have five kids. When we have an argument or misunderstanding, my husband upon getting cross would say swear me and call me harsh ugly names and when I say i'm going to leave him then he says where am I going to stay? Then I would say he must move so that kids lives would not be disrupted. (We stay in an out building by his parents. Both of us are responsible for the building of this house) then he tells me iI must move because this is his house. Then he would swear me out again and again. When I said I would take the kids with me as I am always here for my kids. Then he threatens me by saying he would kill me. A week later he plays amnesia and says he is so wrong. But after a few days then he doesn't think he is wrong anymore. I have been for a fasakh but because the Maulanas knows him, they don't want to phone him. This is recurring situations and I always get sworn at. I am so tired of this behaviour. Now when I say I am tired of this and I want to leave then he wants to ban me from teaching (Quraan) or having a phone or even driving. Please help me as I am tired of his lies. Everytime he wants to make up he says I have no grounds for fasakh. Please help. Also I would like to add that teaching hifth is my passion and I would not like to leave it. Since I have been teaching, my daughter who is in my class is finishing in a weeks time Inshallah.

Q: I am facing a problem with my testicles they are hurting due to not having a sexual intercourse. What would be a solution to that since the optimal solution would be to mastrubate (and it's haraam). I am not married because I have not enough resources for that.

Q: I want to marry a girl from a non-muslim (qadiani) family. She has accepted Islam and my parents agreed with me. The problem is that her parents who are still qadiani want me to become temporarily qadiani for marriage purpose, to save their reputation in the community. They promised that after marriage we can go back to Islam and they will have no problem with that. My question: Is it allowed to become temporarily a qadiani only for marriage (only on papers)? I tried everything to get another solution but without any success. The girl doesn't want to leave her parents in such a way and hurt them. I also consider the consequences of my decision, if I let her fall she could return to kuffar and marry a qadiani as her parents wish. If I marry her, I could bring a kafira to Islam. Please answer my question in the light of Islam.

Q: I (sister) have been having a lot of difficulty within my marriage. My husband does not attend to my emotional and desirable needs, but always pressures me and forces me to do so for him. He is abusive verbally, physically, emotionally, and sexually. We are currently living with my parents, as he is new to the country that we are in, and we still have not gotten our own place. He does not work to support us or pitch in for my family. As we are staying with my parents, he does not show this behaviour outside of our room. But he does force me to do things I am uncomfortable with. Because of all of this, I feel a distance growing, and I am no longer attracted to him in any way. He is not religious by any means, which frightens me as I want the best for him as well as myself. He always seems to find something about me he doesn't like, and although this may sound like I am complaining, I really am seeking for guidance for the next steps I should take. He is a relative so whenever I attempt to talk about these issues with my parents they assume that I have done something wrong to attain hatred from him. They are against separation, but I do not think I can last within a relationship where my husband does not really love me, and where I will always feel that he only married me to get into a western country. I am deprived of having children which is also something that is causing problems, he always demands children, and despite getting medical treatment I know that this is something in the hands of Allah Ta'ala, and when He wants it to happen, it will. But this concept does not cross his mind, he does not think of my health and factors as to why I'm not having children but rather he wants to make his mother happy and risk my health. I do not have any emotional support with anything I do. Whenever I set out to accomplish my studies or work on my small business, he always puts me down and gives me negative comments. It is affecting my university and success in my business, but most of all it affects my Imaan. I would really appreciate a response about the next steps I should take, as my own parents will not take my side or listen to what I have to say.

Q: I am facing a personal dillema in my life at the moment. I am a 23 year old young woman and an alima. I am looking to get married and my parents have been searching for an ideal spouse for myself. I have been approached by my first cousin brother for marriage. When my mother informed of this proposal I let her know I was not inclined or attracted to him in any manner however my mum said he is a good boy alim etc what else do you want. I gave it a slight thought and proceeded to do istikhara. I felt nothing after this period and told my mother I didn't wish to go ahead. However once again she said to me to consider it as hes a good person etc. So I decided just one more time I will see if I feel any different and did istikhara a second time and felt nothing this time around. I didn't inform my mother of what I felt and nor did she ask thinking she might take the hint as to why I never mentioned it. However now I have found out they from my siblings they are planning to come and see me. Please please advise me what to do with this situation as I feel I don't know what else to do. My heart and head have a terrible feeling to this proposal and I feel scared.

Q: Please I want to know. I grew up learning Islam, and I have devoted myself to Deen. I am doing an online Islamic course (IOU) now, and I am learning Qur'an physically from one Sheik. But my problem here is, I find it difficult to continue. I always find this weakness in my heart and it just repeating itself anytime I want to study. I am so confused please. I really want to learn but something just makes me become uninterested. Please advice what I should do.