Advice

Q: I have an elder sister. She is not a good woman. She is a woman with bad character. She is married but had many affairs outside marriage. She is always in modern clothes and not Deeni at all. She just wants to trick men and sleep with them. I hate her. She also does gossiping about me to my friends. I am planning to get married soon. I fear that if she meets my husband she will try to tempt him and fill his ears against him. So, I want to stop talking to her so that she does not interfere in my married life. Can I do that? Can I stay away from her to protect my marriage?

Q: We often hear about nazr and the effects on babies etc. Can mufti saheb please explain the concept of the child's own parents nazr having an ill effect on the child? How does one prevent this?

Q: Me and my wife had been married for 5 years. We have two kids. She is a very caring and loving wife, but due to some unwanted silly reasons, she can't accept my family members and wants us to stay away from them. We have a fight between us most of the time for this reason that she wants us to get separated from my family. Now she is even asking for divorce if I can't stay with her accepting the fact to exclude my family members from our life. My father, mother, brothers and sister hadn't done anything to harm her, but still she doesn't understand. Moreover I feel like she is trying to follow her mother, who has done the same thing with her father's family. But since her father was silent and listening to her mothers decision all the time he accepted it. But I am not able to accept this method of breaking relations. Kindly do let me know, what shall I do. Should I continue with her and break my family relation or accept her request for divorce?

Q: I am physically weak. Eight years ago I used steroid to become healthy but it reacted to pain in my liver area which is still with me since 8 years. Now I am 27 years old. Medical checkups are still unable to diagnose my illness but I am getting ever more weak and pain is increasing day by day. Now my family wants me to engage and get married. Please guide me to the cure for my disease. Am I allowed to marry if there is a severe disease (maybe cancer) in me which can lead to be major problems for me in future or decrease my age.

Q: I got a sexual infection. I went to the doctor, the doctor said it was only sexually transmitted disease. I was infected by my husband but from where did my husband become infected. Allah ka shukar hai there is no big problem to cover the disease but I am confused about what am I to do with my husband? He is very nice with me and the kids but the fact is he cheated me. Please guide me.

Q: My wife goes for Arabic lessons at NMJ. The organisation has been getting a lot of negative feedback from Ulama. Please advise as my wife is going there for conversational Arabic and they do hadeeth and tafseer as well.

Q: My husband refuses to find a job and has not been working for the last 2 years. He spends his days sleeping and watching TV. He also has a tendency to lie about everything and incurs debts behind my back. Is this a valid reason for talaaq?

Q: A man's been trying hard for a job for sometime. He attends interviews with his kurta, adamantly maintaining that success lies in following the dress of Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam), even if that means he has to go hungry, yet his spouse and family implicate that he is affecting his chances of obtaining a job because of the impression it creates. What advice would you tender to assist the man in this case and give him strength from the inevitable doubts created in his mind by his family?

Q: My question is regarding the ruling about living with in laws. Bring in UK for six years, I was living with in-laws for four years. Things are fine with brother in laws, they are yet unmarried and nearly of my age. We have limited, controlled good relationship. But my issue is with parents. In a small nutshell specially my father in law has not accepted me though I'm his relative. The wedding was fully arranged by my mother in law. She is ok with me. Good days bad days. But still she is not very open minded educated women. All this I came to know after coming here. As they were far relative. And on the time of wedding enquiry done by my parents, they lied and she told wrong things about their aqeedah, about husband's education (which is far less than me) his health physical and emotionally. His religious level (far far different approach than mine). She kept everything secret. I came to know very slowly when I came to him. It was too late then. As when I came to know I just lost my 34 years old brother in an accident very suddenly in the same days. It was very very big time for my parents in Pakistan. Mum got sudden Stroke. So I had to keep my mouth shut and show a happy face to them. With time I have two kids. Alhumduliah. (May Allah keep them safe and pious) But the first girl with in laws was not very lucky for me as they become very very harsh rude and unjust with me. It was the time I went to Pakistan and was ready for separation but after six months I came back with very very bad heart for the sake of the girls future. Husband is never a husband for me in front of his family. By the will of Allah we got a far away  flat in London when I was pregnant with a son. It was very very hard time. Health wise, emotionally, mentally. I was coming out with bad heart with broken emotions I had nothing there to see shining since 2008/2012 I had many big small fights. I heard many bad things for my parents. So don't even call their house. I heard bad bad scolding. I was utterly emotionally dead. Can't forget those words, those eyes. When I got moved. I again tried to keep good relations, going to visit them weekly. Stay at nights whenever possible. To show care. To let them play with kids and let them feel happy. Forgetting past. But even then his dad insulted me whenever he gets reason or not. I think he hates me utterly. He never see any any good thing in me. Now question is my husband and his parents really want me to move back and stay with them. So they will have kids all the time. They are forcefully saying. I'm stuck no way. He says I miss them more I want to live with them. My kids should grow with them. I had bad experience to last month. When he shouted at me for twice for no reason infront of everyone. My kids wants to go as now we are in flat. There they have Garden and full house. I know soon they will be very nosy with me. However limits I will keep. I will be insulted. I will be scolded. I will be emotionally tried. My husband will be only dummy in front of them. My kids will be out of control fully. As they don't tell them to listen to your mom. I can go back. But I'm very very affraid. Please help me what should I do. Here houses are at high rent. And if luckily we will find anything they will hate me more. If I will go they will scold me more. Soon another brother in law is going to be married . she is from UK. A love marriage. She will be compared and more pressure for me. Kindly help me in the name of Allah. Guide me to best path by the will of Allah. Save me from wrong decision. To go back. How.? If stay how to avoid therefor hatred for me. I am alone very alone in this country. Nothing to seek sincerity. But big big thanks to Allah as He is with me. (kindly forgive me for bad English, bad spellings. May Allah I have told the truth. And may my question is clear for you)

Q: My wife and I separated due to her being being unfaithful. She was pregnant with my child at that time and I didn't issue her with her 3 Talaaqs. During the period of separation the guy she was caught with went and got one of his "contact moulanas" to do another nikah with my wife.

1. So I need to know what is that status of my marriage?

2. Is her second marriage valid?

3. If she wants to come back must we make nikaah again or I just take her back?

4. How do we go about reporting moulanas who mislead and do wrong things?