Advice

Q: I have a very serious issue going on in my life right now and has been going on for a while now! I dont know if its because of nazar or jadoo! I pray regularly! sometimes 4, sometimes 5! I also read the Quran frequently! I'm 30 years old and still unmarried! I did however get proposals in the past, and got engaged but sadly that didnt work out! A few of the proposals were not very suitable and some were! but the problem lies with my mother! she is extremely paranoid and is always suspecting people! Now I finally found someone who is compatible and is a Muslim who also prays but she thinks hes from a different sect which he has said that he is not! He is a Sunni Muslim and so is his family! the problem is my mother is still not convinced and thinks hes not telling the truth! she is always suspecting people and is never satisfied even though she is religious! I understand that she has gone through a lot in her life but now she is not letting me marry! one of my sisters is married alhumdullilah but she is still in denial! Her behavior is getting intolerable! Both are families met and both liked each other except my mother! I gave her a deadline that if she doesnt approve or cause any sort of problem I will have to take the matters into my hands and will therefore marry on my own! My father has agreed to support me and has also given his approval but still the matter has not progressed! everytime I get a proposal something or the other happens! I have done several wazifas and also did istekhara when i first got engaged! nothing seems to be working for me! Im in depression now and sometime I think of ending my life because I have desires too and want to live a normal life and stay away from zinah and evil! My question is If I get my nikkah done at a mosque without my mother or parents or any family member will it be permissible? Please let me know!! I need help!!

Q: My husband cheated on me. He had sexual relations with a married woman and a mother of three. iI have left his home. What should I do? Should I leave him or not? I am neither able to live with him nor able to leave him. He is in love with zina.

Q: I have some family problems now a days..nothing was like this before..my younger brother never behaved like this before..now he stands in front of father ..argue with him even ready for quarrel..he was most obedient of us bt now his behavior is totally changed in a week...his age is 17 years..also there are many other problems which have started at once..i want peace in my house before...is there any special dua or prayer for it??plz help me out

Q: I am woman who was recently in an arranged marriage. My husbands side did not allow me to talk to my husband before the wedding, I only had a 10 min conversation with him. I raised concerns over my husband not talking much before the wedding and my parents chose to ignore this. A few days in to the marriage I discovered that my husband suffers from a mental health condition called schizophrenia. I was very upset that this was hidden from me and also my family. This explained a lot of initial difficulties that I was having with him, although I started to care for him a lot. I was worried that he may have another manic episode which will make life very difficult for our marriage. He is currently on medication everyday for this. I have decided to end our marriage because of all his symptoms and my worry for this getting worse in the future. I was with him for a few weeks and the marriage was not consummated because we were getting to know each other. I have since come home and prayed istikhara to see if I should go back to my husband. I have seen that I was being attacked by a wasp, the house was on fire and also that there were a lot of scary people and creatures waiting outiside to attack me and family. I don't know what these dreams mean. I have decided not to go back to my husband. However I find that at times my heart longs for him and that my heart longs to be with him and share my moments with him. I'm finding it difficult to think of marrying other men. I am so confused and a mess. I know that I cared for him a lot but I worry about the difficulty his condition will have on our future as it is something no one told me about. A lot of people ask me to go back and give it a try but I cannot make his condition better, the issues for the future will still be there and I don't want to consummate the marriage if we may end it again. Please give me your thoughts, am I in the wrong for wanting to leave? Will these feelings for care and love go away? I started to feel like his career and became overprotective of him and his condition.

Q: I am a Muslim woman. My husband is a Muslim and drinks alcohol and I asked him to stop and he said no what do I do?

Q: The issue I have is with my parents. When I was 14,a friend of mine visited me and she used to talk to guys. As I was a kid, and insensible, I started doing that too. After a month, she left but this became my habit. My parents caught me with this and got very mad. They even rose their hand at me,to make me understand. But as it became a habit, I could not get off it. I then came back to Pakistan, and still had this habit in me. I went onto anonymous chat sites to talk to guys and yet, once again my mother caught me. She rose her hand again and she gave me a bad dua that I will suffer the way she is because of me. I will keep an eye on my kids when I will have them. My husband won't trust me ever. He will keep an eye on me, On my each move. I won't be able to sleep peacefully because I will always be scared of what my kids are doing. She said this to me on the first mistake too. Then, when I was 16 and 17, I got emotionally attached with two guys. One when I was 16 was my cousin. We were serious about each other but our families couldn't bond. My mother said that I wont be able to fit in their family style and secondly the guy, himself used to talk everything about us to another girl, who was interested in him previously and still was. So I stepped back. At the age of 17, I got interested in a guy from my school. He liked me too. And we used to talk. One night, when he was calling, the phone vibrated and my father came back from. His work. As the phone was on charge, my father took it in hand and I was once again in trouble. My mother gave me the same bad duas again. And everything happened as before. And now, am 19. I love a guy who I've met through the girl who I told you about. I am very serious about him and want to marry him. He is 9 years older than me and due to his age, his family is asking him to get married. He has refused many proposals because of me. He stated his love for me when I was 18, so I asked him to wait one year so that I can turn 19. As many Nikah's in my family have been done at the age of 19 of girls. He agreed and waited a year for me. Now when I talk to my mother and I speak the truth of how I met him ((through the girl), she says she does not trust me. I am lying. As I have been into this dirt ever since I was a kid. I am not loyal anymore. I am just a liar, who can never speak truth. But my Allah knows, how honest I am regarding this. And how loyal, and serious I am. Before this, I was caught with a phone (not given by my parents), which I used to talk to him. At that time, my father gave me a choice to either leave him once and forever or to leave the house. He also said that if this kind of thing happens again, he will kill both, I and him. I talked to my mother regarding this man yesterday, and she gave me the same bad duas. I am seeking forgiveness from Allah ever since I gained consciousness. I have made uncountable duas for him and I getting together. And getting into Nikah asap. We have waited, had patience. And during all this time, I was in contact with him beside saying I wont as I couldn't keep myself away from him. Please help me. Tell me what is right and what is wrong. I am very sincere and loyal and honest to have to keep this relationship and turn it into Nikah asap. Please help me, how do I make my parents believe me? And my main concern : will my mother's bad dua become true in the future? Are mother's negative duas qabool'ed by Allah? I am very restless. Please help me. I want to get out of that dirt which I still am in somewhere. I want to make myself pious and righteous. I want to get into Nikah asap with the respect, love of my parents and his parents. My mother also said that when I will be married, my father and mother, both will be very thankful that finally, I left. And they won't want to keep any contact with me. They don't want my younger sister to get in the wrong path as I have. And they don't want my bad resemblances on her. Please help me. I am repenting from Allah since forever, I have begged him, cried in front of him. He knows am pure at heart and that I really want to marry this man rightfully. Please, guide me to the right path.

Q: I am married for 15 years with 3 kids. My husband takes care of us financially but he has been cheating on me. He drinks and stays with other women and abuses me physically and mentally. He does not want to divorce but wants me gone with kids. But otherwise he is very nice to everyone else, he helps people, donates for mosques, does charity. Does this make him a good person? What do I do? Please help me do the right thing. I have been tolerating him for the sake of my kids but i m distraugt inside.

Q: I prayed for marriage with a girl and I thought that prayer is accepted. I said no to her afterwards but I don't understand how can I know that my dua is accepted.

Q: I have been going through a rough time in marriage (domestic abuse) from in laws and i didnt want to leave the house but had no choice but to do so as I was expecting and they had beated me while I was expecting. It's been 7 months, my husband has not seen our baby because he is saying I have taken his happiness away from me and my husbamd are good I love him a lot bit he just cant support me. I got istikhara done by someone and it came out as surah rehman ...could you tell me what this means also could you do dua for me that me and inkaws hublsband work it out as i dont want to leave him.....also could you tell me a piwerful dua to read as i want him to come to me ....and everything gets sorted out.

Q: My mother wants to leave her husband's house and stay in a rental house, because she is fed up with hardship and hard luck though they (mum and dad) are hardworking, investing and striving, yet still no change.

My grandfather married four wives, but it is just the three family's that are living in the same place (compound). My grandfather had passed away. My father is the eldest son of the three family's, he wants to share the compound (land) into four (four wives) because the last last wife's children are claiming authority over the place and are not in favour of the share though the other parties have agreed to the share.

The compound is so dirty, meaning the black magic, witch, sorcerer's work, nuts had been buried in the compound from all the three parties. There is now hatred, envy, bad heart and fighting especially between my father and the last wife's family. Due to all this and more, for 21 years now.

Let me outline my mother's point for her leaving the house.

- recently, her son (my younger brother) passed away. An old woman (a neighbour) had told her that she (old woman) dreamt her (my mother's) dead son saying she should leave the house. I have two brothers, but it is now me and my youngest brother

- Lack of happiness, love, comfort in the compound and even from her husband

- jealousy and evil eye

- her dreams are mix up and frightening

- because of the fighting from the last wife's party.

- No respect for her husband (the eldest son) and it seems black magic is used on him for no prosperity, no growth...

- the compound is not comfortable, it is filthy, demoted, rats every where and the house had wearied out

- And the mother (my grandmother) of her husband had once told her that if her son (my dad) is continuing to stay there, he will not prosper. My mum has been persuading dad to find somewhere for them to stay while he is processing the sharing of the place. But my dad is firm in not leaving his father's house because it is an expense under rental, but my mother's elder sister (staying in America) will pay the rent for a year and perhaps the following years. My dad said he didn't see anything that should make her leave because he provides the basic needs, shelter (worn out zinc house).

- Mum wants her and dad to transfer to the rented house by the end of the month but because mum's sister is paying the rent is another reason for him not to leave. My mum want to take my youngest brother (9 years old) with her but dad refute this, and said she can go, with the two girls (another elder sister's daughters, she is dead now) she is taking care of.

We are Muslims with little Islamic knowledge. The rented house can be another home for him where he can drive to, (own a mini van), rest, spend the night(s) if he doesn't want to leave his father's house. To me if she continue to stay there she will become sick because with all her thoughts about the evil eye, malice, envy, backbiting, abusing and insulting noisily, no respect from the children, no control, no regards for her husband (as the eldest son). The compound is physically, morally, emotionally and spiritually abnormal/unclean/unfit. She has made up her mind and psychologically it will affect her negatively if she continue to stay with him. My dad did not want to repair or develop his apartment because the compound is about to be shared/divided, then he can develop a structure on his own part. Does she has the right in Islam to leave though my father had permitted her but he is angry?