Advice

Q: I need the help of Allah with me every second of every day. I need Allah with me. I do not want charity from anyone I need Allah.

س: السلام عليكم و رحمة الله . سيدي العزيز . أنا رجل قد تعرضت للخيانة من زوجتي و صديقي و إكتشفت ذلك مؤخراً بعد أن رأيت صور لها على الكمبيوتر الخاص به و إعتراف منه و هي قد كذبت عندما واجهتها بالحقيقة ومع الحلفان بالله كذباً و هي مستمرة بالكذب في هذا الموضوع و هي ليست عندي الآن و لي منها طفلان و قد حرمتني من رؤيتهم أو حتى التكلم معهم هاتفياً و طبعاً هذه العلاقة بينهم حرام من عند الله و أفعالهم قد دمرتني مادياً و نفسياً و معنوياً و بكل الأمور و الله يعلم كيف أصبح حالي الآن و المشكلة أنني أسكن في دولة أوروبية ألمانيا و قد أصابني الهم و الغم و الحزن فأنا بلا طعام منذ ايام فقط الماء و ملعقة من العسل صغيرة و ضاق صدري و لا أدري ماذا أعمل ؟أرجو توجيهي لأي شيء فأنا أريد أطفالي و مع أنني شهدت خيانة زوجتي لكن في قلبي بعض الحب لها و هي تعتبرني عدو بالطبع لتحقيق أهداف في رأسها تضعها و غالباً لكي تبقى دون حسيب او رقيب مع العلم ليس لديها أقارب لها في هذه الدولة . فيا شيخي الكريم أكرمنا و أكرمك الله وحهني ماذا أفعل و هل يجوز إن تابت أن أعيدها إلى بيتي و ماذا عن حرماني من أطفالي ؟؟ و شكرا لك و السلام عليكم و رحمه الله

Q: I have a difficult situation that I am dealing with right now, and I really need some advice. I'm not sure where to go to with this question because I do not have a local masjid, therefore nobody who could advise me. I am a revert who lives in the U.S. I met a guy who lives in the UK, and we have planned on getting married for about three years now. We have been waiting for the right time to get married and are now planning to this summer in Sha Allah. When we get married, I'll be leaving the U.S. and going to the UK to live with him and his parents. We've discussed this several times before, and he tried to make sure I was okay with living with his parents or trying to decide if we should get our own place. I'm very close with his family, so of course I said I didn't mind living with them. Recently an issue came up that we can't seem to settle. He and his mother are both saying that after we get married, I am not allowed to come back to the U.S. for any reason even to visit my family. They also said at first that I couldn't have any contact with them either, but after a discussion about it, they have agreed that I can still talk to them just not go see them. My family doesn't agree with my choice of religion and they don't support me, but at the end of the day they are still my parents and I still love them. He claims that they are scared my parents may harm me (or my children if I take them with me), but I don't think my parents would do that. I've been trying to be very optimistic and hope that once they see my lifestyle and what being a Muslim woman is really like instead of what they have always heard, they will come to accept my choice even if they don't fully agree with it. I also have a sister who I am very close to. It's heartbreaking to me to think about not ever seeing them again. It's going to be hard moving to a new country and being so far from them at first, but that doesn't really upset me as long as I know I can see them again. When I think about leaving here and how when I tell them bye it may be goodbye for life... It kills me inside. I've tried to explain my side of things and ask the guy to picture himself in my shoes. He said he saw my point and doesn't mind me coming back to visit him. However, he had a private conversation with his mother again and now he is taking her side and doesn't want to change his mind. I've tried to tell him that I mean no disrespect to her. I love her like she's my own mother too, but I just don't think it is fair and I can't understand why she won't change her mind. She has two daughters as well, wouldn't she be upset if their husbands or mother in laws prevented them from seeing her again? He's gotten really stressed out over this issue and thought we shouldn't get married after all. He feels like he's having to take a side, which he is, but it makes me feel bad. I think there will be many times in life where the husband will have to take either his wife's side or his mother's about certain issues (hopefully not all as big as this one) and I don't expect him to always take mine. However, this is an issue that I feel very strongly about, and we are both worried that it could cause a lot of problems down the road. We are in her house so she makes the rules. I don't want to go against his mother and I do still want to get married to him, but my family is important to me even if they don't agree with my lifestyle. There's events like my sisters graduation and the births of her children that I don't want to miss. Can him and his mother really keep me from seeing them or do I have a right to still see them even if it's against his mother's wish?

Also, if the mother is so strongly against this, do you think that we should still get married?

Q: Can you please tell me some advices/the importance of unity in the ummah and also how eating together creates unity.

Q:

1. I have one uncle whose beard has only few hairs. I had made fun of his beard saying that his beard has few strands of thread... I was actually making fun of his beard, not the sunnah... Also I did not know at that time that we should not make fun of beard... Did I do kufr? If yes, what should I do?

2. Some people call him chinese... did they also do kufr? 

Q: Nowadays kids dont tend to listen to parents. They always want it there way either by staying in their own bedroom or come down with the family or even they are meant to be studying but they dont want to and if they do they'll do it when they want even though advising them etc. So in this case what should one as parents do? Do they let them be how they want and just keep advising them. What should be done? Also what should be done if the parents and child argue because of that?

Q: I have a question regarding the wife and mother. There is no problem between my mom and my wife, my wife just dont want anybody to come to our house for living. My mom is very sick and I am taking care of her in my house as being her child. I did not ask my wife to take care of my mother except cooking regular food which is normal. I am having such a big problem for no reason, she is not talking to me nor talking to my parents. I am not happy with my wife.

Can you please guide me what sharia says about this case or what should I do, should I let my mom get sick or let my wife go?

Q: A lot of people say that when a girl decides not to date boys and rather to wait until a boy comes and proposes for her in the right way, then often she will end up waiting very very long until she is married. And that the women who don't wait and go out and find their own will be married off quicker. I have heard of cases like this and it is very demotivating. Is this some sort of proven or authentic fact? What basis do people have to say this?

Q: I want to ask how I can get rid of bad thoughts about not being a Muslim anymore (indeed I am a Muslim).

Q: I am a student. Alhamdulillah I have whatever Allah has given me. In my hostel life, people from different rooms and floors comes to me asking for things? I reply with the truth, by saying I have that. Then they ask me to use it. Since I cannot say no, I lend them, but they never return it back to me. As I am a student I have a particular amount of money from my parents to spend for requirements. Now I have decided to tell them I don't have it (here my intention is that I don't have anything to give you, not that I don't have that thing), can I tell them like that? Else what can I do?