Advice

Q: Nowadays kids dont tend to listen to parents. They always want it there way either by staying in their own bedroom or come down with the family or even they are meant to be studying but they dont want to and if they do they'll do it when they want even though advising them etc. So in this case what should one as parents do? Do they let them be how they want and just keep advising them. What should be done? Also what should be done if the parents and child argue because of that?

Q: I have a question regarding the wife and mother. There is no problem between my mom and my wife, my wife just dont want anybody to come to our house for living. My mom is very sick and I am taking care of her in my house as being her child. I did not ask my wife to take care of my mother except cooking regular food which is normal. I am having such a big problem for no reason, she is not talking to me nor talking to my parents. I am not happy with my wife.

Can you please guide me what sharia says about this case or what should I do, should I let my mom get sick or let my wife go?

Q: A lot of people say that when a girl decides not to date boys and rather to wait until a boy comes and proposes for her in the right way, then often she will end up waiting very very long until she is married. And that the women who don't wait and go out and find their own will be married off quicker. I have heard of cases like this and it is very demotivating. Is this some sort of proven or authentic fact? What basis do people have to say this?

Q: I want to ask how I can get rid of bad thoughts about not being a Muslim anymore (indeed I am a Muslim).

Q: I am a student. Alhamdulillah I have whatever Allah has given me. In my hostel life, people from different rooms and floors comes to me asking for things? I reply with the truth, by saying I have that. Then they ask me to use it. Since I cannot say no, I lend them, but they never return it back to me. As I am a student I have a particular amount of money from my parents to spend for requirements. Now I have decided to tell them I don't have it (here my intention is that I don't have anything to give you, not that I don't have that thing), can I tell them like that? Else what can I do?

Q: I have a few question and worries that has been troubling me for the past few years and I am not able to find a proper answer so far and I am not able to put this in the right order.

My eldest son is a very brilliant student. I have tried my best to provide him with forms of educations including but not limited to religious and modern education. He had been an awardee for many scholarships. After High-school he cleared the NDA (National Defense Academy) examination in air wing, however, he was not able to join it as the call letter came very late due to some political unrest in our state (Manipur, India) at that time. He was really frustrated after this occasion as this was his dream to fly.

Later after a couple of year, he got selected for "bachelor of technology" in a reputed collage (engineering course). Almost all the problem started off from hear.

Though he was given complete education on Islam, he began denouncing the faith. He also stater smoking lots of cannabis and Alcohol in the college. He seems very frustrated all the time during those period. It may also have been due to a girl he used to like back in his teens. He got a little deranged and got the orchidectomy(self performed) saying he would become a woman and that he have felt like a woman trapped in man's body. I withdrew him from the college after this instance and consulted a psychiatrist for any mental disorders. He had been on medication till recently.

He then joined another collage and graduated in economics. He appeared for the UPSC civil services exam (the top most exam in India for intact of personal in the various governmental department) twice but failed to clear the mains on both occasions although he have cleared the preliminary written test both of the times. He now works for and governmental insurance company as an agent manager. He dresses like a woman and is a supporter of the third gender.

Lately he has shifted his view to ward the line of being an atheist or an agnostic. Because of this I have cut all my ties with him and also from the fear of the society. He is opposing "All" religion citing reasons like he has a brain and used it like non other who are blinded by faith. He further complain that there is a lot of plot holes in all the religious scriptures and that they are all fabricated.

Now, My question is, I do not understand why he is turning into this. He was given proper Islamic education from a very young age and he used to practice obligatory prayers when he was a teenager. What mistake did I make in raising him that he opposed the lord? I am loss of what to do. What will be his fate in the afterlife? Did i do the right thing by cutting all ties with him. Please advice any Islamic and legal way that I can adopt and what relation should I maintain with my son at this point in time.

Q: I have been married 6 years and I was living with my in laws as my husband refused to move away, I settled for second best option and that was to build us a place in the yard. Last year we moved into the outbuilding. My husband made a key for his parents because they look after our 5 year old child. His parents and his sister goes in and out of our place and do what they want and take what they want but only when we are in work. Yesterday I had an argument with my husband and they went into our place and took things from the kitchen cupboard and went into the room and went into our cupboards. I told him that I feel they are invading my privacy and taking things without any permission. He then told me that I am ungreatful and selfish and that if I don't like it I am welcome to leave and find myself another place to stay. He gets very angry with me when I mention anything I don't like regarding his family and he will always put me down to defend them. He also told me that I will answer for my selfish ways.

My questions is: Am I wrong to ask his family to respect my privacy and ask permission to go in and take things from our place? And what are the husbands duties towards his wife when it comes to his family?

Q: I want to ask you a very important matter. My husband had a girlfriend before I married him. For about nearly 8 months he was serious with her but accidentally she got pregnant. He said to her about termination but she lied and said yes I did (she's in a different country and she's a proper outgoing christian girl (English girl). When she was 3 months pregnant then my husband left that country (he just went for business and came back to U.K.). After he got back we married and then after 6 years he found out on her Facebook that she was saying that she got a girl from you. Now dilemma is that I am not happy I got married with him from last 12 years mashallah and got alhmdulillah 3 beautiful kids. I am really in a bad condition. We started to fight and argue. He wants that girl which is not on our religioun. She is now 11 years old. Then I told him that we got respect in people and we dont want to let anybody know and I'll adopt her as my child and inshaallah I'll teach her knowledge of Islam and put her in darululum. He said ok and we contacted that women and she said no she dont want her to be a Muslim and she's not interesting in Islam but please see her. I told my husband that I wont let you do that. If she don't want to accept Islam, do the dna test before you contact her. Now I really don't know what to do because I am worried that if he starts to see her then he'll be in contact with her mother. And if he contacts that girl then the problem is that she don't want to accept Islam and it will affect my kids. Mashallah they going to Islamic school.

Q: Is it permissible for males to attend university?

Q: I need help with a certain issue. I got married about 7 months ago. Recently i had this doubt on my husband related to his friend who is a female. To confirm it, i checked his phone in his absence and found messages in which he is flirting with her and telling her how much he loves her! There were even pictures of them together really close and him kissing her cheek! So one day i told him that i dont appreciate his friendship with that girl and that they should stop talking completely. After a big fight, he agreed. The problem is, he doesnt know that i read his messages and that i am aware of what he was doing. So he keeps playing innocent and telling me that i am creating problems in our marriage by assuming things that arent true. He blames me for our relationship issues and keeps telling me that he isnt doing anything wrong and that i am being insecure.

My question to you is, Even though my husband agreed to stop talking to that girl, should i openly tell him that i read his messages behind his back and that i know he is cheating on me? We might get into a bigger fight if he finds out i read his messages and that could damage our relationship maybe even permanently. Im scared he will leave me. But he needs to stop telling me lies about her just being a 'friend' and blaming me for things going wrong in our marriage. I need him to know how serious i was when i asked him to stop talking to that girl. I dont know what the right step to take in this situation is. Its hurting me everyday. Im scared he might lie to me that he stopped talking to her and continue to flirt with her behind my back if i dont confront him.