Advice

Q: My parents have always guided me away from certain sins and I would say that they are Islamically inclined in that they read all salaahs, abundant Quran and stay away from most sins. However, the one habit I've noticed that they seem unable to give up is their addiction to watching television. They watch Indian soapies and Hollywood/Bollywood movies till late at night. Sometimes I think they fall asleep with their TV switched on. Sometimes they will be watching a funny video or an interesting movie while I am getting something from their room and they'd tell me to come and sit down and watch with them. I have just recently begun cutting tv out of my life and as much as I want to watch as well, I feel guilty while doing so. What dua can I read so that my parents will stop watching TV and will get more hidayat? And what can I read to strengthen my willpower so that I will not get tempted to watch TV or commit any other sins?

Q: I am a male 36 years old. I was first married to my cousin 9 years ago and currently having 2 kids with her, 8 and 6 years old. Few months back I got married to a girl. This girl is from my family and is an illegitimate girl. I didn't know about her past and what zina her parents did. Her parents got married afterwards giving birth to her in 5 months after wedding. I have no issues as I believe that she is innocent and all fault goes to her parents. My parents do not agree to this marriage and are forcing me to leave her and the sole reason they are giving is because she is illegitimate. They are forcing me to a level saying to either leave her (divorce her) or leave them or they will kill themselves. I am in deep issues as I don't want to leave her in the middle of nowhere. I can fulfil rights of both the ladies as well as my kids and have offered them to keep any guarantees whatsoever.

Q: We want to sell our flat and want to buy a house but it is difficult to sell and find a good price. Please guide me about this matter.

Q: I lost my mind and shaitan makes my eyes blind. I had touched my sister sexually when she was sleeping. I think that kafara is the best way to avoid shame. 

Q: My maid is working since 1 year at my place. After she joined, some months later I caught her stealing. Once I caught her removing a wallet from a jeans then after 2 or 3 days she was stealing onions. When I caught her, I said to her in a nice way that you should not do this. Before this, she stole 20 rs from my sons pocket and then she apologised. The next time I will not do it and thereafter many vessels disappeared from the house. My mother in law used to tell me everyday to ask her whether she took it or not. Our neighbour used to always say that she used to steal needles. She even asked why did you keep her to work. You should remove her I told her that now she is not stealing. She apologised but i still doubted her and yesterday I was searching for my earing and I didn't find it. Today in anger I scolded her directly that you had taken that earing, bring it back. She was saying that I had not taken it. She told me to check her house and suitcase. I told her not to talk rubbish to me, I know you had taken it. Bring it back. I also called my neighbour and her maids for proof that she is stealing everyday from their house but at that time my neighbour refused and my maid was crying like mad. She was saying I had not done it and I said to her in anger, because of this habit of yours, no one is keeping you for a longer. She went crying like mad from here and then after I called my mom, my earings were at my moms place. I called her and apologised 3-4 times but she was crying and saying that I will not come. I was feeling it is like my home when I started working. I got fever now and I will not come to your place. She said that her heart is badly hurt (dil pe lagi hai mere). Now if she will curse me and my family, then I am feeling scared from inside. I was also very strict with her. Without thinking, I scolded her loudly because of her previous deeds. I felt she is steal stealing. Now I told her to come here one more time, I want to apologise before all to her, but she is refusing to come. What should I do?

Q: I was engaged to a boy for 4 months and then in order to avoid any sin we decided to do nikaah without telling our parents as they decided to wait for both of us to complete our education before getting us married. However, both families had pure and hearty intentions to get us married without any objection. Now it has been a year since we have done our nikaah in presence of two witnesses who were his friends. The disputes between us have been increased to unbearable limits now. My family has also found some unignorable facts about his family due to which they are having second thoughts. This guy who is my husband has abused me mentally so much that I have completely lost my self respect, my personality, my life goals and now he has also started to disrespect my family. I changed my complete self to keep him happy and yet he is still not satisfied at all with me. He fights with me and goes away for months, doesn't talk to me for months and I never know where he is and what he is doing. At this point my family has seen me depressed all the time and they, including myself has decided to get separated from him and his family. Now when I decided to get khula from him I started studying how it is done. It looks simple but we didn't register our nikaah nor we did any paper work. How should I proceed? Please guide me. And also I've been reading contradicting articles, some says nikaah is not valid without the girl's parents presence and some say in Hanafi mazhab it is valid if the girl is sane and adult. Please guide me through this issue as soon as possible.

Q: I would like to know if a girl that wears hijab gets a proposal from a boy that she likes and he likes her. But the problem is that he doesn't like her wearing hijab. Should she give him time to like it or should she not marry him. 

Q: I have a few relatives. They are born and brought up in a Muslim family like us. However at present, they have converted into La Madhabi theology like Dr. Zakir Naik, Ahmad Deedat, etc. by refusing madhab theory.

My question is how do I maintain my relationship with them? Are we allowed/permitted to share non-veg food with them? Can we consume chicken or other non-veg whenever they invite us over for a meal? Are we allowed to perform Salat and Janaza together with them? While reading Namaz under our Imaam they pronounce aameen loudly after the Alhamdu....? Will it affect our namaz in anyway?

Q: What causes forgetfulness after learning knowledge, when either reading a book, or listening to a lecture?

Q: My family had got a proposal for me and I was interested but with no solid reason my father refused. He said things like, the boy's family were living far away, and also he is 10 years older then me. I did istikhara many times and I got no negative signs. I do pray daily to turn my heart away from this but it is uncontrollable now. I want advice whether I should ask my family to consider it. I'm afraid that once it mustn't get refused for a reason that is not valid.