Advice

Q: I want to ask you a very important matter. My husband had a girlfriend before I married him. For about nearly 8 months he was serious with her but accidentally she got pregnant. He said to her about termination but she lied and said yes I did (she's in a different country and she's a proper outgoing christian girl (English girl). When she was 3 months pregnant then my husband left that country (he just went for business and came back to U.K.). After he got back we married and then after 6 years he found out on her Facebook that she was saying that she got a girl from you. Now dilemma is that I am not happy I got married with him from last 12 years mashallah and got alhmdulillah 3 beautiful kids. I am really in a bad condition. We started to fight and argue. He wants that girl which is not on our religioun. She is now 11 years old. Then I told him that we got respect in people and we dont want to let anybody know and I'll adopt her as my child and inshaallah I'll teach her knowledge of Islam and put her in darululum. He said ok and we contacted that women and she said no she dont want her to be a Muslim and she's not interesting in Islam but please see her. I told my husband that I wont let you do that. If she don't want to accept Islam, do the dna test before you contact her. Now I really don't know what to do because I am worried that if he starts to see her then he'll be in contact with her mother. And if he contacts that girl then the problem is that she don't want to accept Islam and it will affect my kids. Mashallah they going to Islamic school.

Q: Is it permissible for males to attend university?

Q: I need help with a certain issue. I got married about 7 months ago. Recently i had this doubt on my husband related to his friend who is a female. To confirm it, i checked his phone in his absence and found messages in which he is flirting with her and telling her how much he loves her! There were even pictures of them together really close and him kissing her cheek! So one day i told him that i dont appreciate his friendship with that girl and that they should stop talking completely. After a big fight, he agreed. The problem is, he doesnt know that i read his messages and that i am aware of what he was doing. So he keeps playing innocent and telling me that i am creating problems in our marriage by assuming things that arent true. He blames me for our relationship issues and keeps telling me that he isnt doing anything wrong and that i am being insecure.

My question to you is, Even though my husband agreed to stop talking to that girl, should i openly tell him that i read his messages behind his back and that i know he is cheating on me? We might get into a bigger fight if he finds out i read his messages and that could damage our relationship maybe even permanently. Im scared he will leave me. But he needs to stop telling me lies about her just being a 'friend' and blaming me for things going wrong in our marriage. I need him to know how serious i was when i asked him to stop talking to that girl. I dont know what the right step to take in this situation is. Its hurting me everyday. Im scared he might lie to me that he stopped talking to her and continue to flirt with her behind my back if i dont confront him.

Q: Is it right for a person to blame another person for the illness and an Aamil has said that he has done so and so to you. Explain briefly.

Q: I like a person from my paternal family and I want to marry him. He is the son of my father's own sister. My parents are dead against this and they don't want to let this happen at any cost. They dislike the boy's family very much and also they are taking up illegal (black magic) activities to break this relation and get me back. Please suggest how to convince them or what to do?

Q: Talaq... Been married to my husband for a year and a half was arranged and love marriage. First couple of months were good then started having arguments. I knew before marriage he smoked weed but he said he would give up after marriage and not smoke it anymore, he lied he always did. Last couple of months of months found out he also drinks alcohol been over a year i never knew before marriage. Since last month he has demanded a divorce saying how the marriage life is not for him he wants the single chilling life. He always disrespects me and has hit me once or twice but for sake of Allah i have always forgiven him, given him countless chances but after hearing the word divorce from his mouth that is when I realized he doesn't deserve me at all or another chance. He has even said he will never stop smoking or drinking and i have waited over a year and done my best to help him change but all my efforts have gone to waste! I have come to my parents house and after couple of months of days he texted me saying he wants a divorce about 2 times and then swore at me. It has been 2 weeks now and i have made a decision to divorce him as i feel it is the best decision for me as i really want a husband on the deen. But our parents are making it hard especially his trying to keep us together and blaming me for everything that has happened and saying how people will talk if we divorced. But we are here to please Allah and not people. Nearly everyday I hear my husband telling me how he wants to be single or find another woman and in anger i ask.why did u marry me if u wanted to be single and chill out ?! He flirts with girls on social media and has no respect for me whatsoever. I feel like his love for me has been fake all this time and i feel betrayed and hurt by him. I feel he will never change even ppl who know him say that to as he has been this way for many years but his parents did not tell me the full truth about him before marriage. His mum said he is home 10pm every night when really he goes out at that times and comes home at half 12 or 1am! please help.

Q: I have listened to most of your lectures but my iman is still on and off. Is there any thing else I can do to help.

Q: I see a woman visiting my father everyday behind everyones back. Im not sure if he married this lady without my mother knowing. And I dont know if she will want to stay with him after this. Do I confront my father or tell my mother? If they dont stay together after I tell them this then is it my fault that they get divorced or must I just overlook all of this.

Q: I am asking this question as I genuinely don't know the answer.

Is it permissible to take advice from or to give time to a person who you speak to and where they would start reciting something quietly and start telling you things about yourself such as they would ask you if you are often bloated and if you have seen any blue marks on your body and if you are upset with your husband due to a certain reason (and may I just add that they are correct with a lot of the things they mention) and the thing is that no one actually gave them this information about yourself besides your name or sometimes your mother's name. They also would say to someone that they have a jinn in them and the jinn from that person would take possession of another person who is assisting this person who is helping you and you can interact with the jinn in this way.

Is it permissible in Islam to go to such people for help? How do they gather such information about you without even meeting you or merely speaking to you telephonically. I would assume they are getting the information from a jinn?

Please assist as I don't want to commit any bidat and so that if this is not in accordance with Islam, I can advise my loved ones against it.

Q: If one's husband does not intend going to madrassa now and I as the wife would like to attend classes, am I allowed to go alone?