Advice

Q: Is it right for a person to blame another person for the illness and an Aamil has said that he has done so and so to you. Explain briefly.

Q: I like a person from my paternal family and I want to marry him. He is the son of my father's own sister. My parents are dead against this and they don't want to let this happen at any cost. They dislike the boy's family very much and also they are taking up illegal (black magic) activities to break this relation and get me back. Please suggest how to convince them or what to do?

Q: Talaq... Been married to my husband for a year and a half was arranged and love marriage. First couple of months were good then started having arguments. I knew before marriage he smoked weed but he said he would give up after marriage and not smoke it anymore, he lied he always did. Last couple of months of months found out he also drinks alcohol been over a year i never knew before marriage. Since last month he has demanded a divorce saying how the marriage life is not for him he wants the single chilling life. He always disrespects me and has hit me once or twice but for sake of Allah i have always forgiven him, given him countless chances but after hearing the word divorce from his mouth that is when I realized he doesn't deserve me at all or another chance. He has even said he will never stop smoking or drinking and i have waited over a year and done my best to help him change but all my efforts have gone to waste! I have come to my parents house and after couple of months of days he texted me saying he wants a divorce about 2 times and then swore at me. It has been 2 weeks now and i have made a decision to divorce him as i feel it is the best decision for me as i really want a husband on the deen. But our parents are making it hard especially his trying to keep us together and blaming me for everything that has happened and saying how people will talk if we divorced. But we are here to please Allah and not people. Nearly everyday I hear my husband telling me how he wants to be single or find another woman and in anger i ask.why did u marry me if u wanted to be single and chill out ?! He flirts with girls on social media and has no respect for me whatsoever. I feel like his love for me has been fake all this time and i feel betrayed and hurt by him. I feel he will never change even ppl who know him say that to as he has been this way for many years but his parents did not tell me the full truth about him before marriage. His mum said he is home 10pm every night when really he goes out at that times and comes home at half 12 or 1am! please help.

Q: I have listened to most of your lectures but my iman is still on and off. Is there any thing else I can do to help.

Q: I see a woman visiting my father everyday behind everyones back. Im not sure if he married this lady without my mother knowing. And I dont know if she will want to stay with him after this. Do I confront my father or tell my mother? If they dont stay together after I tell them this then is it my fault that they get divorced or must I just overlook all of this.

Q: I am asking this question as I genuinely don't know the answer.

Is it permissible to take advice from or to give time to a person who you speak to and where they would start reciting something quietly and start telling you things about yourself such as they would ask you if you are often bloated and if you have seen any blue marks on your body and if you are upset with your husband due to a certain reason (and may I just add that they are correct with a lot of the things they mention) and the thing is that no one actually gave them this information about yourself besides your name or sometimes your mother's name. They also would say to someone that they have a jinn in them and the jinn from that person would take possession of another person who is assisting this person who is helping you and you can interact with the jinn in this way.

Is it permissible in Islam to go to such people for help? How do they gather such information about you without even meeting you or merely speaking to you telephonically. I would assume they are getting the information from a jinn?

Please assist as I don't want to commit any bidat and so that if this is not in accordance with Islam, I can advise my loved ones against it.

Q: If one's husband does not intend going to madrassa now and I as the wife would like to attend classes, am I allowed to go alone?

Q: How do I refer to the followers of Jesus (Alaihis Salaam) because somebody on social media was saying calling them kafiroon to their face or when describing them to a person is awful. Please share this knowledge with me.

Q: We live in one area.. I have grown up and stayed all my life there.. My parents are nearby.. My friends.. Masjid where I offer my salats.. My wife says she is all alone the whole day and got no company.. It's not that she isn't provided with a shelter or security.. Now she wants to move to a place in an area where her sister's resides... She is pressurising the husband to let go of the current residence and move to the area where her sister's stay... Not that where we are currently staying is a bad place or the husband is denying her shelter.. And she is doing all this under the pretext that it's her right as a wife and I should comply... Is this jayaz permissible or has the husband got a right to give in to her demands.. 

Q: I have an issue that I am having a really hard time dealing with. When I was engaged to my fiancé he told me that he is getting really close to this other girl because I didn't give him time and attention. He said he would stop talking to her though. Later we got married and when I asked whether he still spoke to that girl he told me he did and that they became best friends. He would tell me about her every now and then. I started growing suspicious so once I checked his phone in his absence and I realized they were way more than just friends. He was telling her how much he loved her and how he regrets not marrying her. He spoke to her like she was his girlfriend. He never speaks to me with that much love! Infact he is more emotionally attached to her than me. He is distant with me. My heart broke when I saw this. So one day I told him i didn't appreciate his friendship with her and that they should stop talking. We got into a really big fight. I asked him to show me his phone and his messages with her even though I had already seen it but he didn't know I saw his messages. He refused and told me that he couldn't live with someone if he had trust issues and that I was going down a very dangerous path. He told me he loves me and that he is not cheating on me and that he will stop talking to her provided that I never bring her up again and that he stops talking to her on his own time. Since then he has been telling me numerous lies. He is buying gifts for her when we go shopping and tells me that his friend asked to buy it for his sister. I live in Pakistan and he lives in Canada so he was taking back gifts for people from Pakistan. But because I read his messages I knew it was for his lover cause it was mentioned in his messages. My heart broke but I couldn't even confront him. We haven't been getting along too well and I feel like the reason is that he is in love with someone else. Although he is very sweet to me and we don't have any sexual problems. But I feel like I am living with a man who is only fulfiling his duties as a husband, not with someone who truly loves me. And every day of this marriage is breaking my heart. He is still in contact with his lover after 3 weeks of that fight. He went back to Canada two days ago. He will probably go meet her and give her the gifts. I am so broken and I don't know what to do. It has only been about 7 months since we got married. Not a single soul knows about these issues with my husband. I just tell Allah all my problems when I pray and I cry and cry and cry. I have lost my mental peace and my heart is uneasy. I want my husband to love me not someone else! But I can't live like this. I feel extremely helpless What should I do? I have a few other questions to ask you if you could please answer them.

1. Was it wrong for me to check my husbands phone in his absence?

2. Do I have a right to keep an eye on my husbands activities/ messages with other non mehrum women?

3. Is it okay if I check his messages secretly when I know he is cheating on me?

4. Should I tell my husband that I read his messages and that I know about his lover? I am really scared to cause he told me that if we lost trust for each other we shouldn't be together.

5. He told me he would stop talking to her eventually so should I sit here patiently and wait? For how long? What if it doesn't happen? I don't want to live my entire life like this.

6. Would it be okay if I told someone else close to me about these problems so that it would relieve the burden on my heart? I am facing this problem alone and I have kept a parda on my husbands disloyalty to me. But it hurts so bad and I want to talk to someone about it.

7. If he continues to cheat on me, should I consider asking him for a divorce? I love him and I wish he changes his ways. I don't want to live without him but I can't live the rest of my life like this either. Nor would I appreciate him having a 2nd wife and I don't think he would opt for it himself because I don't think the laws in Canada allow more than one 1 wife at a time.