Advice

Q: If you do not agree with the decision your husband has of wanting a second wife, just because you are carrying his second child while wanting a second wife and he gets upset. Can one still get a faskh?

Q: I am living and working in Denmark. I am having a problem with my wife regarding third child. I hereby want to explain you my problem in details. When I married with my wife she had the same problem (Back Pain) that she has today but after the marriage she want baby as soon as possible and she got pregnant after two years of marriage and than after first baby she had the desire for second baby as soon as possible and she got second baby after one year of our first baby and when I asked her for third baby she said that she wish to have third baby but after two years. Whenever I ask her for third baby she replies me that wait some more time and now three years have gone after second baby. I asked my wife now I want third baby because its three years now after the second baby and she replied me that she don't want any more baby due to her disease (Back Pain and bawaseer). Then I asked another Mufti from Denmark. He said that she can't stop me to have third baby. My question is that her disease is the same as it was in beginning, only bawaseer (piles) ka masla new ha. I need this answer with reference to Quran and Sunna because I want my third baby and after your e-mail to her she totally denied for third baby. Looking forward to hear from you.

Q: I am aged 22 from India. Two years ago I fell in love with a girl. She was a cancer patient. Her parents came to know about us and were positive for our marriage. My parents said first finish your degree and get a job and we will assist you in marrying as you wish. Days passed and it is because of her I started offering Salah..Allah made me turn to him through her. I was So much worried about her cancer.. And days passed ..I changed a Thug..Smoking drinking..Etc..And we had problems ..We were about to break up ..And then..I started salah once again.. And allah gave Her back to me..And at a period of time..Once again I was moving in opposite Direction. Smoking and Drinking. In november 22 2015 she went very Bad that her organs stopped working that she had to undergo dialysis. It was like a calling bell from Allah.."O my servent come back to your lord".I was So afraid of losing her..I started offering my salah..And on december 22 After offering my maghrib salah..I heard a recitation from quran saying.."We Will test you through loss of life. If u can't handle the pain ask allah ya Allah if I can go through this let me..If I can't take me" . Suddenly it Striked my mind lyk she has gotta go...And to I had dreams lyk ambulance in Front of her home..But I never left my salah..Asking allah to save her..Cure Her..On jan 6 2016..Inna lillahi wa innae ilaihi rajiyoon.. She passed Away..But wallahi ..I never had a negative thought in my mind like..Allah Hates me..Or he didn't accept my duaa..Instead I had thoughts like my allah Knows what's best for me..He never does bad for me..In sha allah..Allah will Make me join with her in jannah..I still can't believe she left me..I weep Remembering those beautiful days spent with her..But wallahi I say allah Made me stronger.. Am right here messaging you its all because of allah..If I Never prayed ..Surely I would have ended up with suicide.. Now am getting Closer to allah .I can feel it..He is getting me closer..There have been days That I have thought why allah is always doing something with me .Yet still There are people out there enjoying life..(my cousins) ..But now I realize Allah loves me a lot..He gave me a ticket to jannah..In sha allah I should Make me built up and be capable for it..Now during my supplications I ask Allah to make me join with her in jannath ul firdhous.. Now when I offer my Salah..Tears comes out uncontrollably remembering the day of qiyamah..My Question is will Allah make me join with her in aakhira..?

Q: Can you tell me the tips to wake up for Tahajjud prayer?

Q: I was married before and have three kids from a previous nikaah. I am now married for 7 months and have no kids. I do all the house work, cook, clean, iron and it's taking a lot of strain one me. I don't have a helping hand and requested to my husband that help me get a helper even if it's 3 days in a week. He refused saying he does not dirty the house, my kids do and said he will never get me a helper. I asked him if was his biological kids make the house dirty would he not pay. He said he will pay if his kids dirty the house. His kids live with his ex-wife and Alhumdullillah he does everything for her and kids, which is the right thing to do. I am depressed because all I do is clean and cook and iron. I don't even have time to go to ta'leem. It's just a mess. Please advise if this is the right thing to say. Even if he doesn't get a helper for me, I will carry on this way but does it have or did he have to tell me in this manner?

Q: I need urgent help from you if you could kindly suggest any prayer or dua for me. I had a best friend who was always with me. He would take me for dinner and would happily share personal stories with me. I did a lot for him as well. He promised me that he will never break our frienndship and I was his friend for life. 3 days ago he wants to  break the friendship with me and he told me never talk to him. For the last 3 days I am crying continuously and not able to eat anything. I am always sad and whenever I see him in the mosque happily with other friends, my heart stops and I feel very sad. Please help me because I feel as though I am going to die. What can I do to get my bestfreind back. I pray 5 times namaz daily so why did this happen to me? 

Q: I am a 23 years old Muslimah. I want to build up an islamic personality so that people would be attracted to Islam and I will be the zariya of their hidaayat. I try to be good with people but people try to dominate me and I feel that they respect me less. It hurts my self respect but I try to be nice with them. I am in such a dilemma. Is it my shy and soft nature? Am I doing anything wrong? I've read that one of Luqman (Alayhis Salaam's) advices was be not so harsh as well as be not so soft that people can eat you.

Q: Alhamdulillah I am married to a wonderful man for four years and we have been blessed with two beautiful sons. Before we married, my husband explained that he fully financially supported his unemployed parents. I accepted that and agreed that it was his duty as their eldest son. He pays for their house, all their living expenses and medical bills. However during the past two years it has transpired that my father in law has accumulated a large amount of debt. This includes credit card debt, overdue accounts and money he has borrowed over the past 15 years, from other family members. I have also recently realised that my husband's unemployed brother and his (employed) wife are having all their daily meals at my in-laws without any contribution to the grocery bill. My husband also has a divorced sister with three kids , now living with his parents and making a minimum contribution. It has become clear to me that all my father in law's debt has accumulated in trying to pay for extra groceries as well as some failed business attempts. I have a full time job and rely on my parents and extra domestic help - to help raise my two boys. I need to be employed in order to pay half of all our own living expenses - because my husband would not be able to afford paying for two homes. My in-laws are of no support to us because they have no income and they are looking after their other grandchildren. I have insisted that my husband and his siblings start paying off their father's debt as further interest keeps on accumulating. Up to now, none of them had made any attempts to start rectifying the bad financial situation. The financial strain ,as well the stress of juggling being a full time working mum, is starting to suck the joy out of my marriage. Firstly - I need clarity as to whether my father in law's debt will become the responsibility of my husband and sons,should he die before paying all his dues. Secondly - am I entitled to ask my husband to start insisting that his siblings make more of a contribution, since all the debt was literally accumulated to feed them. Thirdly - if my husband was not supporting his siblings, I would not need to work in order to assist financially - because he would have enough to run our home, and I could be home with my kids. What rights do I have as a muslim wife to enforce this? My in-laws lack financial management skills. All my attempts in trying to show them how to budget and save have been met with resistance, because they see me as having a priveleged lifestyle since I come from a financially stable family. My own parents worked very hard to ensure that we were never raised with debt and also made sure we never lived beyond our means. The value system and work ethic that I have been raised with regarding money and lifestyle, seems to be very different to my in-laws. And I want to make sure that my children are not influenced by their bad spending habits. An example would be my divorced sister in law who has not paid her kids school fees for three years. However, when she received her December bonus - the first thing she bought was Justin Beiber concert tickets! This shows me that she was raised with an entitlement attitude - my kids are entitled to concert tickets, even though I have not paid for their private school education and also refuse to put them into a cheaper public school. My in-laws go on holiday every December , which is usually paid for by my husband. Instead of telling their son to forfeit the holiday in order to maybe use the same money to pay off some of their debt - they happily enjoy the "undeserved" luxury and post holiday pics all over social media. My main concern is for my own children - I am trying to raise them with good values, and showing them that it is a sin to waste and be extravagant - because that will take the barakah out of your life. Please advise or suggest ways in which I can help save my marriage without having to threaten my husband with separation , if he does not enforce stricter financial control with his family.

Q: If elder sisters tell her brothers to offer prayers. Sometimes they offer and sometimes do not offer prayers on her advice. Her mother said that you make us (parents) sinners because we do not tell our sons to offer prayers in a right way and you tell them. Mother said that it is our duty to tell sons to offer prayers not yours (daughter). Mother said that I stop you to tell them to offer prayer. Now what should the daughter do? Can she tell them to offer prayer or obey her mother in this matter? She thinks that as she is elder from brothers she must ask them to offer prayer. Is her thinking right or not?

Q: I've been in a distance relationship for 1 year and 10th month. In two months it will be 2 years. Both of us are baaligh aqil and hanafi mazhab. My question is how can we make this relationship halaal? We know we won't stop talking to each other because we love each other so we want to make our relationship into halaal. My second question is he lives in different country which is India and he lives alone there because of his work. Woh na namaz ada karta h na roze rakhta h. The reason why I don't want to let him go is because I don't want him to go in wrong path and I feel that once he is with me he is not in wrong path. He is really nice man has pure heart but he doesn't offer his prayers nor he fast. What should I do to make him offers his prayers also keep his fasts? I'm worried about his akhirah more then mine. What should I do?