Q: If my husband speaks to his female cousins or friends just to keep a good relation and friendly chat but I don't like it and I don't like such conversation. What should my husband do as he thinks I am over possessive and he is not doing anything wrong.
Q: I have been having great problems with my wife the last few years. She separated herself from me because of her mother telling her and the last few months she came back and we have been trying to reconcile. She's very disobedient and always fights with me but we have a child so I have tried and tried with her. When we were separated, she and her mother disrespected my mother and my father and now my family don't want me to reconcile because of this. Also she kicked me out of my home three times. I made an agreement with my wife that I will go back and live with her but I want her to sort things out with my parents just an apology to break the ice. My wife refused and just left and has completely cut me off. I want to know is this wrong what I asked of her. I do want to reconcile but know she doesn't want to anymore. I don't know what else to do. My wife only let me see my son the last few months after years and now she is doing the same again. I don't know what to do. Can you please help me.
Q: I am the eldest of four sisters. My parents have one 'perfect' favourite. Often even if this favourite does something wrong we are reprimanded and punished. If we bring up the fact that it was her not us they tell us to ' shut your mouth' ' you are x years old you should know better' 'drop it' etc and get angered. Often the youngest is disciplined because of the other ones behaviour. This is unfair and I try to make them understand but then I'm seen as the bad one. This sister now has a mindset that she is superior to us and ignores and causes problems for us. We now feel inferior, useless and unnecessary as children to the extent that I have considered running away. I don't know what to do my parents are always kind and religious but when it comes to fairness between their offspring the rest of us cannot measure up to their special one often we are told to leave her be and be better or nicer to her which is very hard. Mufti saab please advise.
Q: I have a cousin from a very Deen dar family who got involved with a girl from a Shi'ah background in the college he was studying in. She herself was "modern" and my cousin was probably able to persuade her to give up the peculiarly Shi'ah beliefs that she was brought up with. Four years later they were getting married and we were invited to their wedding. There was a wedding performed by one or their "ulama" (stating that this was a nikaah daa'imi - - not muwaqqat?!) and a reception. My father is an Aalim (a student of Mawlana Saleemullah Khan mudda zilluhu al-aali) and is also somewhat visible in the Tabligh work. Although he was not present my mother was concerned about his good name if she attended a social occasion of Shi'ah people. Also I am twenty and my brother is eighteen and my mother was concerned that we not interact socially with Shi'ah people. As a result my mother chose not to go to either occasion. Since then some family elders have come down hard on us for not coming and have said that this was Qata' rahmi and also that since the girl has accepted Islam we should have supported her but being present and should have accepted her "with open arms", and that we are running the risk of driving her away while she has accepted Islam. Should we pay heed to these objections and try to make amends? Please answer in detail.
Q: I like one girl. I met her three months back. I did istikhara at the starting and now after three months my parents went to there place and after that they ask our well know mufti to tell us if it is good for us or not. We gave him the names of both families and he said its not good for you but I love her. Can I go against this decision or not? Please help me. We have to inform them tomorrow about our decision.
Q: When I say Allah or make dua, some images comes to mind. I deny it by saying that "it is not Allah and it can't be Allah at all because Allah is Wahid and Ahad" Can you suggest any solution in the light of Qur'an hadith. Also give me reference.
Q: I have a question. Basically I used to talk to my far relative and we had the thought of getting married but by the will of Allah that didn't happen, but before that we was friends for 10 years. He'd give me Islamic knowledge and everything, but then I met someone else and he seen messages from that guy, nothing bad or anything. But I was so scared he'd leave me I said wallahi I won't talk to him anymore, but the things is he was someone who bought me close to Allah, all the knowledge about Islam I knew was due to him. I feel like I'm losing my way and I need I talk to him. I feel that I picked a kasam but the person who I picked it for I'm in a haram relationship with him anyways so why should I stop talking to someone who gave me so much knowledge because of the fear of losing him? Can you please help me and tell me what I should do.
Q: I have a marriage question. I am 23 years old. I got married last year but been engaged with my husband for 4 years. During our engagement we had a lot of arguments and one big argument about a year ago where he thought I was cheating on him so he wanted to break the engagement but his parents persuaded him not to. About six months after the wedding I found out the real reason for my husband wanted to end the engagement which was that he wanted to marry someone else but his parent kinda force him to marry me. Now he still speaks to that girl and when I confront him, he says that he's not speaking to her and wants a relationship with me and that it's all my fault because "I have a women's brain and he is loyal with me" and I try to do everything for this relationship to work but I'm not getting anything from him. One of the big reason that stresses me out is that he does not want to have children and when I talk about having children he makes excuses up that we are not financial stable or he doesn't like children. Also another thing is that I called my husband over to the UK from Pakistan and all my family is always saying how he is just looking to settle in the UK and get a visa and then he will leave me, I am so worried about this because I actually want this relationship to work but I don't know what his intentions are. I really love my husband and want him to love me back but if he loves someone else I don't want to be in the way of his happiness. Sometimes I think I should get a divorce because I don't want him to use me for the visa and then leave me. Couple of times I spoken to him to marry that girl but he just shuts me down. I am so confused about what to do. Can you please explain to me what I should do Islamicly? Shall I stay or leave him because this is hurting too much and everyday it's getting more hard and I dont know what to do?
Q: I have been married for nine years. My husband reverted to Islam before we married. He has been drinking and doing drugs since the day we got married. He keeps promising to stop but it never happens. He also keeps accusing me of having an affair (which is not true). The other problem that I have is that he wants to be intimate when under the influence. Most times a have to force myself because it makes me feel belittled and cheap. I have been to see our Imam and also had both my parents and his come and speak to him numerous times over the past 9 years but without any success. I have a 9 year old boy and a 5 year old girl. His behaviour has an impact on the kids as we always end up arguing and the kids are exposed to this. I try to the best of my ability to raise my children the Islamic way but he does not even want to go to mosque with my son or perform Salaah with us. The relationship is verbally and emotionally abusive. Is drug and alcohol abuse valid enough reason to apply for a fasakh? I have extremely unhappy.
Q: I am working in the government for some time but have started an Aalimah course part time. I am uncertain of resigning due to challenges at home as relationship between mum in-law not very good and work was my scapegoat. However if I am at home, we will clash even more. Is it okay form me to work part time as I foresee more problems at home and I also do not communicate well with husband as he narrates everything to his mum. Pls advise.