Advice

Q: I need a dua to make my husband listen to me and never let anyone come between us. To free our marriage from divorce.

Q: We live with my in-laws. While I was away this weekend my husband let his 25 year old brother use our personal bathroom. There are 6 other bathrooms in the house. My husband knows that I do not like to share a bathroom. Do my in laws need permission to enter into my personal area, or his my husbands permission enough?

Q: I am 25 (male) from a well-off family and presently pursuing PhD in earth sciences with a decent fellowship but you know the environment here at the university not very pious (there is co-education in the university) and one finds it very difficult to control his emotions. Nikkah seems to be the best solution to prevent oneself in such a dirty environment but the problem is that I am not able to communicate the same to my parents. Now I request you you if you could spent some moments of your precious time to suggest me how to approach my parents for the same. I am ready to marry any girl from any nationality unless she is a pious and practicing Muslim.

Q: I am suffering from cancer and my treatment requires lots of money. My husband has left his job in order to take care of me and follow all my treatments. He has taken so much loan from his relatives to run his family needs and my treatment. Now he says me that if something happens to him its my duty that I pay the loan giving away my gold which I got from meher and also gift from my mom during marriage. I feel that is the only backup I have for emergency since I also have a baby. But my husband has plans to use my gold to invest or get property rather than simply keep in locker and give zakaat. But I am not willing. Please replay if my husband has the right to do so.

Q: I lost all my jewellery two years ago and I have not yet found it. I did a lot of wazifas.

Q: If my husband speaks to his female cousins or friends just to keep a good relation and friendly chat but I don't like it and I don't like such conversation. What should my husband do as he thinks I am over possessive and he is not doing anything wrong.

Q: I have been having great problems with my wife the last few years. She separated herself from me because of her mother telling her and the last few months she came back and we have been trying to reconcile. She's very disobedient and always fights with me but we have a child so I have tried and tried with her. When we were separated, she and her mother disrespected my mother and my father and now my family don't want me to reconcile because of this. Also she kicked me out of my home three times. I made an agreement with my wife that I will go back and live with her but I want her to sort things out with my parents just an apology to break the ice. My wife refused and just left and has completely cut me off. I want to know is this wrong what I asked of her. I do want to reconcile but know she doesn't want to anymore. I don't know what else to do. My wife only let me see my son the last few months after years and now she is doing the same again. I don't know what to do. Can you please help me.

Q: I am the eldest of four sisters. My parents have one 'perfect' favourite. Often even if this favourite does something wrong we are reprimanded and punished. If we bring up the fact that it was her not us they tell us to ' shut your mouth' ' you are x years old you should know better' 'drop it' etc and get angered. Often the youngest is disciplined because of the other ones behaviour. This is unfair and I try to make them understand but then I'm seen as the bad one. This sister now has a mindset that she is superior to us and ignores and causes problems for us. We now feel inferior, useless and unnecessary as children to the extent that I have considered running away. I don't know what to do my parents are always kind and religious but when it comes to fairness between their offspring the rest of us cannot measure up to their special one often we are told to leave her be and be better or nicer to her which is very hard. Mufti saab please advise.

Q: I have a cousin from a very Deen dar family who got involved with a girl from a Shi'ah background in the college he was studying in. She herself was "modern" and my cousin was probably able to persuade her to give up the peculiarly Shi'ah beliefs that she was brought up with. Four years later they were getting married and we were invited to their wedding. There was a wedding performed by one or their "ulama" (stating that this was a nikaah daa'imi - - not muwaqqat?!) and a reception. My father is an Aalim (a student of Mawlana Saleemullah Khan mudda zilluhu al-aali) and is also somewhat visible in the Tabligh work. Although he was not present my mother was concerned about his good name if she attended a social occasion of Shi'ah people. Also I am twenty and my brother is eighteen and my mother was concerned that we not interact socially with Shi'ah people. As a result my mother chose not to go to either occasion. Since then some family elders have come down hard on us for not coming and have said that this was Qata' rahmi and also that since the girl has accepted Islam we should have supported her but being present and should have accepted her "with open arms", and that we are running the risk of driving her away while she has accepted Islam. Should we pay heed to these objections and try to make amends? Please answer in detail.

Q: I like one girl. I met her three months back. I did istikhara at the starting and now after three months my parents went to there place and after that they ask our well know mufti to tell us if it is good for us or not. We gave him the names of both families and he said its not good for you but I love her. Can I go against this decision or not? Please help me. We have to inform them tomorrow about our decision.