Advice

Marital problems

8 years ago By admin

Q:

1. If the wife asks the husband can you please help me to pick up the cupboard and he doesn't want to move that cupboard, he is lazy to do something then the wife moves the cupboard herself, then the wife got angry with the husband and said "You just watching, what kind of husband are you?" Was it right what she did to her husband?

2. My friend got married with two kids now her husband wants to marry to another girl but he didn't divorce her Islamically. He sent her court divorce papers. He said to her I am not going to divorce you islamically. They haven't been having physical relation since 10 months. So I want to ask you that their relationship is finished or still exists till he divorces her?

3. If the husband says something which the wife already knows she has to do (something at home) then he keep on saying which annoys the wife. Is it the wife's right to say yes I know what to do? If the husband doesn't help the wife to buy something is he still getting sin and he tells the wife, whatever you earn, buy for yourself and help me because I pay bills mortgage insurance. What should the wife do? Even she helps little bit and buys clothes with her own money?

4. If husband shouts the wife when she she tells him to perform namaz, what should the wife do?

5. If the husband wants to celebrate the kid's birthday just buying a cake and wife doesn't want to celebrate. They argue with each other. What can the wife do if she is religious?

6. If the husband keeps on saying nonsense which is not true to the wife and she gets angry. In that situation what should the wife do to answer back?

Not living with the new husband out of fear of losing custody of one's children

8 years ago By admin

Q: I have a Muslim co-worker that got married a few months. She was a divorcee. The man she married has a teenage son from a previous marriage. She herself has 2 pre-teens. One being a girl. She does not live with this man as she's scared her ex-husband (whose been married for over 6 yrs now) will gain custody of the children. How valid is that marriage? The new husband is building a house so that her daughter can have her own room and bathroom in the house. By the time the house is built the girl will be 12 and the new husband's son will be 14. Is that allowed in Islam?

Not becoming despondent, asking for forgiveness and making tawbah

8 years ago By admin

Q: I am in dire need of help. I am a horrible, sinful person, who should be stoned to death. I was involved with a boy, to the extent of intercourse, when my parents picked out a suitable match for me. I love my parents dearly and did not want to disappoint/hurt/shock/betray them, so I kept quiet and agreed to the nikah. After the nikah I continued having illicit sexual relations with the boy I previously liked. On the night of my rukhsati, I drugged my husband, and left him, and returned to my parents saying he was an addict, and got myself a divorce. The husband recovered from sickness after being drugged, but by then everyone believed him to be an addict. The guilt is killing me, my parents still think the man they married me to was at fault, they blame themselves for forcing me into a marriage. I keep praying to Allah that they never find out the truth because it would kill them. I love my parents and pray for them, and I pray that I am able to make them happy and proud of me someday, they are everything for me. I know that I am a sinner, and I want to make things right. I feel that Allah hates me and will never reward me in this world with success and happiness, for what I have done, and the Hereafter definitely holds jahannum for me. I feel that I cannot pray to Allah because I am filthy and impure, and that I should not even dare to pray or fast or ask Allah for anything. He has already bestowed immense favour upon me and my parents by hiding my sins so far. I did not love the man they picked for me, and after the nikah, I hated him even more, but he did not deserve what I did to him. When my parents forced me into this marriage, I should have been honest with them instead of lying about everything. I want to study ahead, I want to work and support my parents. I want to be happy but nothing is possible without Allah's help. And why would He help a sinner. Even when I cry and pray to Him, I feel that I cannot go beyond asking for forgiveness because asking for success or happiness would be too much. Will I spend the rest of my life unhappy, failing at everything I do, because Allah hates me? Will Allah Ta'ala ever forgive me? Confessing my sins would kill my parents but is that what it will take for me to make things right with my Maker? I am hopeless and dejected, and feel like giving up on life, but I try to be strong for my parents. I have always had faith in Allah, and He has answered all my prayers, but I think I have gone too far this time.

Lady who was ready to accept Islam passing away

8 years ago By admin

Q: I had gotten married to a Christian woman in order to avoid zina, with her having an interest in Islam at that stage. After a few months, she was prepared to become Muslim, but due to bad habits of mine, she didn't want to take the shahada as she wanted me to be of sober habit and mind in order to guide her through the transition. In the past month and a half she constantly reprimanded me with regards to my habit, saying she is ready for the shahada, and eventually she told me she will take the shahada regardless of my amendment of my ways. She even went to madrasah and began reading Islamic kitaabs. Two weeks ago she passed away in a car accident. Due to us living in separate towns, I do not know if she took the shahada or not. Is it permissible for me to send esaale thawaab for the deceased? In the case that she never took shahada, I am in great fear of Allah's punishment. It was my weakness that caused delay in the issue. What would Mufti Saheb advise so that Allah may forgive me and not take me to task through the deceased taking me to task?

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