Advice

Q: I am B.Tech qualified student doing M.Tech. My uncle is repeatedly saying to continue M.Tech and pursue Ph.D and become assistant professor which will require at least 4 years. I am already 25 years old and want to earn as soon as possible as I feel I should get married since 2-3 years. But I feel shy to talk on this matter with my parents. I want to do a job but uncle insists that teaching will be better for me (by observing my weak physical condition due to black magic). Completing higher studies will require 4 years and I will be reaching 29 years till I complete Ph.D become assistant professor. Due to sexual temptations and to prevent myself from sins, I want to do nikaah, but my uncle and father is of the view that I should continue studies. What should I do? During 2-3 years, I had indulged in pornography and masturbation due to temptations. If I continue to study for 4 years, there is danger of getting involved myself in porn and adultery and I don't want to do it. What should I do in the light of Quran and Hadith? How should I inform them about this and convince them. Also I am confused as to what source of income will be better for me job or teaching? (Teaching is better if whole life is concerned except four years and government job is better if entire life is concerned)

Q: My husband did a secret nikaah and after five years. I have found out that he has another wife and a small child. I have asked him to divorce her and send her back to her country if he wants to have any chance to continue our marriage. He has agreed. However, the guilt of sending the innocent child back is eating me up inside even though I will never accept his second wife or child. What do I do?

Q: A boy married a older girl without the consent of his parents in the presence of two male witnesses. Now if he wishes to tell his parents about it and they ask him to divorce the girl, will that be correct? Just because they against him marrying someone older and a few people in the family have spoken ill of the girl thus making his parents believe she isn't a good girl. Does he have to follow his parents and divorce the girl or should he remain married?

Q: I am really worried. I was talking to a friend and we were arguing on something. He said if you leave it for 40 days you will forget it. Get used to not having it (at that time I didn't have it in mind that it's a hadith). Then he said it's a hadith and we were in argument and I said I know it's a hadith and I said don't put hadith into worldly matters. Since then I am worried that may be I denied a haidth unintentionally. I need your guidance.

Q: I have a medical shop which is not working well at all. Can I know the reason and solution?

Q: My question is that my husband always argues with me. When he's with me, he gets gets angry for no reason. He doesn't like spending time with me. Please provide me any wazifa for our solution and good life.

Q: I don't know if you will read my message but I pray that you can help solve my problem. I had a very tough life with my ex-husband and in-laws but I never thought of breaking my marriage because of my kids. I knew that if I moved out we all will suffer. My parents knew everything and they used to tell me that I just leave him and they will keep us and provide for us. They used to force me a lot but deep down my heart I felt like not leaving becuase I was scared to stay at my parents with kids (there comes a point in life where parents can't take the kids of the daughter). Life went on. My hubby used to beat me and do all the nasty things with me. When one day our neighbour came to talk to him that brother it's not nice of you beating your wife in public. Do what you want to do inside the house, respect your wife. My husband immediately jumped on me and said that why is this man favouring you. Seems like you have some relation with him. He forced me to sign on a paper that my neighbour tried to rape me. I was refusing and he planned everything and took me to the police station and made me sign on that. My father came to know that and he came and took me there by force and told me you don't need to make up your marriage with someone who doesn't care about your chastity. I was somehow relieved and thanked Allah Ta'ala removed me from there. I was with my kids at my parents, it was all ok. I got the khula after two years. The problem here is that my mother can't stand my kids. She shouts them for nothing. If I will talk to her she quarrels with me so badly and whatever I do, she won't talk to me for days. This was the thing I was scared of. I knew my mother, she was always super strict with us too. I can't be and I don't want to be that way with my kids because I know of all the damages it has caused to me. It's like I am in trauma with all the strictness they were doing on us since we were little and my marriage to my ex was for this reason only that I wanted an escape from this. I don't want my kids to suffer the same. Alhamdulillah I am raising them Islamically but I can't be on them 24/7 not to let them even play outside. Sometimes I feel like it's the end now. When I got a proposal from a man who was accepting me and my kids with Al conditions accepted, my parents said no, as this will bring shame on them in the community. Yes I want to get married, I need a husband. I've told them clearly that I need a husband and I want to save my Imaan and I don't want to do anything which will bring harm to my Imaan, but what they said is make sabar. Please suggest me a way out of this.

Q: I have a question regarding the permissibility of going to a non-muslim person for help with a spiritual matter. My sister has a sihr problem and I contacted an Aamil to see to her and AlhamduLillah she was doing his treatment and there was slight progress. It was taking some time but she was improving very slowly. My mother decided that this was not good enough and she told my sister's husband that she will get another "moulana" to treat my sister. On the day that the so called Moulana was supposed to see my sister, I got a call from my sister who was hysterical and she told me that a coloured man by the name of Peter was brought to her house by my mother and that he wanted to treat her to which she refused. I then asked my sister to hand the phone over to Peter but my mother grabbed the phone and told me his name was Zubair and he is a Muslim. I asked to speak to him and asked him a few questions regarding Deen. He did not know the Kalima and even the name of the Last Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam). Thereafter he admitted he is not a Muslim and he was just trying to help. I told him to please leave my sisters house right away and that we cannot accept any help from him. He left but what happened afterwards is what concerns me. My mother and father have stopped talking to me and even refuse to take my calls. I explained to my parents that we could lose our Imaan by seeking help from the kuffaar regarding spiritual matters and I even came across a Hadith which stated that " Anyone who seeks help from a source other than which was revealed to Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam), Our Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) will not recognise that person on the day of Qiyaamah". My brother in law who was present there on that day also told me that this person used the name Mother Mary and he claimed to have found some sihr item in their kitchen but the Aamil told us that the item was placed there. Our family is now torn apart by this incident. My brothers and brother in-law stand with me in this matter and my parents refuse to talk to either of us. We had a confrontation regarding this matter yesterday and it did not end well. My mother told us to not attend hers or my Fathers Janaza. Could Mufti Saheb please shed some light on this matter because my parents are convinced that they did nothing wrong.

Q: I know that Islam gives most priority to the mother. If my father is a bad guy and continuously does very rough behaviour with my mother, then what can I do? If I also am rough to my father for the sake of my beloved mother to protect her, then will it be a sin? What can I do? My father tortures my mother both mentally and physicaly. I have attempted a lot to make my father good, but still he is a bad one. Please tell me, in this case if I hate my father and do rough behaviour when he scolds my mother for nothing, then will it be a sin?

Q: I have a question regarding some issues with my husband which I have raised with him but which he fails to address. For starters my husband D has had no intimate attraction towards me since marriage, he is capable of going through at least 2 weeks on end with no worry, he claims he is not like other men who only want women for one thing, yet I feel so unattractive as he always admires other women but barely complements me unless I'm upset. Secondly he never speaks to me about his day or confides in me he only speaks to his mother, he will lie in bed or sit with me and sms her and when we visit her he will start talking non stop to her. If I ask him why he does this he says I must find out one time when he is telling her I can hear or sometimes he says I was talking so he couldn't tell me, but what about all they sms each other. I have started being quiet as I am talkative to see if it makes a difference, but all he does is play on his phone and go to sleep not talk to me. I long to see him, I look forward to meeting him, knowing how his day has been and in the end it's an effort for him to interact with me. We have only been married 2 years and now have a child but this marriage is really unfulfilling and depressing. He always does what his mother wants, never asks me what I want, if I have plans or anything as such it's like I don't exist. Please don't get me wrong, I have no problem with him doing for his mother but what are my rights and options, am I meant to go on miserably like this? Please advise.